26
For Eiley, exhaustion usually felt like rough gravel scraping down her spine, vertebrae by vertebrae, but there was nothing unpleasant about the sort that followed her afternoon with Warren. On their way back into town, she rested her head against the car window, body still vibrating – and not just from the sex. She was content, she realised. For the first time in a long time, there was nothing she wanted to change. Nothing that made her sad or angry, except maybe when he sang loudly to the Oasis song playing on the radio after she’d said she didn’t much like them. Even then, his voice was gravelly, silly, melodic as he exaggerated a thick Mancunian accent. When she told him to stop, it was through a laugh that came straight from her belly.
They pulled up outside the bookshop, and the joy fell away. She’d wasted time that should have been spent sorting out the book bus. She didn’t dare imagine how Maggie would react when she found out that her new van had broken down not an hour after setting off.
“What are you thinking about?” Warren asked. She didn’t realise she was chewing her nails until he nudged her hand away from her mouth to lace their fingers together.
“All the things that still need to be done.”
“I can come in and help you for a bit, if you want.”
She checked the time on the dashboard clock and sighed. “I should check in with the kids soon.”
He frowned. “Eiley, what you said before, about their dad …”
She silenced him with a finger to his lips; she didn’t want to talk about the secrets they’d shouted into the wind earlier, and she certainly didn’t want to think of Finlay. “What happens on the hill stays on the hill.”
Smirking, he chased her finger away with a kiss. “I was only going to say that you’re doing a really great job, and it sounds like the kids are better off without him. If you ever want to talk about it, I’m here.”
That, she knew. Mostly. Still, it warmed her to hear him say it, and she leaned in to brush his tousled hair from his face. “Okay, fine,” she decided, “you can help me put up a couple of shelves while I call Maggie.”
“How generous of you.”
They got out of the van together, giggling like nervous teenagers when they met each other’s gaze. It was different now. Not just the air between them, but everything that surrounded them. The sun warmed Eiley’s skin, the sky a slightly richer shade of blue than she’d noticed before. She thought maybe this was what most people felt when they walked around town, smiling and chatting: a knowing that everything was okay, even just for now. She could exhale without her lungs tightening.
Inside, Maggie stood at the counter, face lit by her laptop screen. An unusual sight at this time of day, until Eiley sawshe wasn’t alone. Eiley presumed the tall, sandy-haired man at the counter was one of the contractors who had been flitting about during repairs over the last weeks.
And then he turned around, murky brown eyes locking on hers, and her heart plummeted into her stomach. Finlay, sipping coffee out of one of Eiley’s old mugs, greeting her with a wary smile.
No. The bookshop was the one part of her life he hadn’t infiltrated. Why was he here?
Whynow?
“Oh, thank goodness you’re back! I wondered where you’d gotten to.” Maggie dropped her half-eaten Hobnob biscuit back onto its plate, slapping the oats from her hands. “You’ve got a wee visitor!”
“Hello, Eiley.” Finlay’s attention settled on Warren with an intimidating heat. “Who’s this?”
Eiley didn’t know what to say, what to do. Her legs turned wobbly, nausea wrenching through her stomach.
“Are you okay, dear?” Maggie asked. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost!”
“I …”
“I should have said. She wasn’t expecting me,” Finlay supplied, scratching the unkempt beard rounding his usually pointy chin. He looked a little healthier than last time she’d seen him, which wasn’t saying much, considering he’d been drunk at her doorstep. Now, he was composed, full of smug clarity, his hair perfectly styled around his oval face and dipping across his lined forehead. Ruggedly handsome, but she knew too much about what lay beneath to be swept away by itanymore. It felt contrived. Compared to Warren’s beauty, and his delicate care, there wasn’t much to admire.
Warren’s hand was a reassuring weight at the base of her spine, prodding her back to life. “What are you doing here?”
“What do you think?” He laughed.Laughed. “I wanted to see you.”
“Sorry, dear. He said he was the bairns’ dad, and I just assumed it made him welcome.” Maggie’s eyes widened. “Should he go?”
“No,” Finlay said at the same time Warren muttered, “Aye.”
Eiley saw some of that ill temper bleed through when Finlay rolled his shoulders back. She felt like the exposed underlay was about to crumble beneath her.
“It’s not your fault, Maggie.” She spoke carefully. “He knows he shouldn’t be here.”
“Oh, come on, Eils.” Finlay set down his mug. “At least hear me out. Please.”
