CHAPTER NINETEEN
JUNIPER
“How are you holding up?” It was the first time anyone spoke to me since I’d slaughtered all of those monsters. I guessed it was because Alric was the only one not afraid of me. I didn’t exactly believe the girls were scared of me but I had a feeling they knew I needed space. Men never caught that memo. Though I didn’t exactly mind. The silence was killing me, it allowed me to think and that was the last thing I wanted to do. It was honestly the last thing I needed to do. The more I thought the more I wondered if Ryven suffered or if it was quick and painless. Those were thoughts I shouldn’t have been having. Especially when I was trying to be strong for the others following behind me.
“I think I’m doing okay,” my voice was flat and I most certainly wasn’t doing okay. But we could fake it, right?
“Liar,” Alric bumped his shoulder with mine and for a minute it almost felt normal. It almost felt like I hadn’t just gone through a heartbreak that should have killed me or that we were on the run because the fake queen was on our tails. None of this should have happened but here we were. Our new normal was just around the bend, if we ever made it there. “It’s okay to not be okay.”
I swallowed back all the things I wanted to say, all the things that you shouldn’t say to someone who loves and cares for you. “I know.”
He sighed and his eyes looked to the heavens as if they had answers for him. As if the gods could tell him what to do. “My dad disappeared too.”
That almost stopped me in my tracks. My brows pulled together as I fought a new surge of emotions. There were no words that could be said that would portray just how I felt, so instead, I slid my fingers through his and held his hand in silence. I didn’t care how it looked, I didn’t care how it appeared to be between us, I just knew my friend needed comfort and so did I. This was the only way I knew how when my heart and head felt this bad. Not to mention the state of my body.
“The other priests?” I asked, almost afraid.
He let out a short huff that could have been mistaken for a snicker. “They disappeared soon after you and Ryven did.”
I frowned. “Do you think they followed us?”
I couldn’t tell if the redness of his cheeks was from embarrassment or the wind. “I think if they did, they quickly regretted it.”
We didn’t talk for a long while and my legs were beginning to cramp but I didn’t say anything and we didn’t stop. We hadn’t seen any more monsters but the snow kept coming down. It was relentless and I knew if we didn’t find shelter soon, it wouldn’t be good for any of our toes.
“He loved you,” Alric whispered and I almost missed it.
This time I did stop. A sob worked its way up my throat and my nose burned. I shook my head as I fought it with everything in me. “You can’t say those things.”
He shrugged as he blinked the growing moisture from his eyes. “Didn’t you want to know?”
I inhaled a shuddering breath. “What good does it do me now?”
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.”
I didn’t have anything to say to that and instead, pulled my hand from his and walked ahead to my other friends. The ones that knew better than to prod the beast.
As we ventured closerto the Solarian Mountains, the snow didn’t pelt us as hard and I knew shelter would be visible soon enough. There were plenty of cave mouths on the sides of the mountain, we needed to be careful that they weren’t already inhabited. I didn’t know how long we’d walked as the sun was no longer visible at all and everything was dark. It had been dark for hours but I chalked that up to the snow and the thick clouds overhead. Leo insisted that it was good we couldn’t see because that meant the army following us couldn’t either. But I didn’t feel much hope and I wasn’t overly excited about anything. Until Alric veered us hard right and there was a decent-sized hole in the side of the mountain.
“The Solarian people won’t be mad we’re here, right?” I knew they didn’t exactly like Alric and I didn’t want to get caught up in their magic.
“The Solarian people are trying their best to survive the winter, I’m sure if you show up in your magical glory, they will not mind one bit.” Leo grinned as he carried an entire stack of sticks out of the woods ahead. At least we would have some type of buffer from the wind and the snow. Hopefully, that meant a break from the monsters, and if we weren’t out there to be food, maybe they would do us a favor and pick off the army coming for us too.
Reva yanked a cloak out of the bag she was carrying and settled it over my shoulders. I pressed my nose into the shoulderof it and took a deep breath. I knew it was Ryven’s before she put it over me and I was thankful. Was this and the knife my last pieces of him? My nose burned once more and I pushed back the tears that still wanted to fall. I thought I was all cried out, I thought I’d gotten over this to at least make it to the Last Fortress but that didn’t seem to be the case any longer.
Leo stacked up several piles of firewood and Ash straightened up from the cave floor. “I will go talk to the people here and see if we can have some of their magic or maybe they’ll be willing to take us in, I don’t know. Anything is better than nothing at this point.”
As soon as she walked past the mouth of the cave, she disappeared. My teeth chattered and my body trembled with the cold but I was still able to wiggle my toes. Another little bit of magic thanks to Sita. I closed my eyes and prayed she was okay. She was one of my best friends and through all the panic, I hadn’t even thought of her as we were running for our lives. It made me feel horrible. I leaned back against the wall of the cave and closed my eyes. I wondered if Livia made it out okay with her family. Many sought shelter from the neighboring town and would eventually make their way to the Last Fortress, at least that was what Alric reassured me a few times. They would send out parties once we were all settled to help the people get to us. I hoped so.
It took Ash a few hours to return and when she did, icicles were hanging off of her face and clothes. “I hate this place,” she muttered to herself before she tossed what seemed to be a large rock at the entrance of the cave and a shimmering light exploded around us all. “Get your fires going, this will keep us hidden until tomorrow, sometime.”
Our friend wasted no time settling in beside us. “They made me climb the damn mountain.”
Grove snorted as she gently pulled a little stick of ice from Ash’s chin. Ash swatted her hand away. Reva rolled her eyes and muttered back, “At least they’re willing to help us.”
Ash cut eyes at her two friends and shook her head. “I almost wish they hadn’t wanted to. They were trying to kill me.”
“They were trying to see if you’d work for what you needed or if you’re lazy.” Grove jabbed Ash in the shoulder with her pointer finger.
