He was running now but not with the fervor of before. Why was he giving up? What in the seven hells did he think he was accomplishing? I needed him damn it. I ripped my wrist out of Reva’s death grip and raced back. Alric caught me around the waist and threw me over his shoulder all while I watched the man I loved race for his life. But it was no use, the ground collapsed all around us and by some miracle, we weren’t sucked down with it. Alric threw me as far as he could to prevent me from being taken down if he was. I hit the ground hard androlled before inhaling dust and sand. I buried my hands in the sand and prayed for a miracle. Magic shot out from me into the ground and I hoped it saved someone, anyone, but especially Ryven and Alric. A cough exploded from me as I crawled forward. My hip hurt from the impact but I didn’t care. I would assess injuries later. All that mattered was making sure Alric and Ryven both made it. A massive cloud of dust, dirt, and sand obscured everything from the cave-in.
Frantically I patted the ground as I crawled forward. My hand met with a leather boot and then a thick calf. I waved my hands around to try to dispel some of the debris in the air but it was no use. I knew who it was before I could even see him. Alric sat up and blinked a few times before he patted his body down.
“Did we make it?” His voice sounded muffled and I wasn’t sure if it was from the rushing in my ears or the chaos going on around us, but we couldn’t stay here now. The village would be coming to investigate and the fraud empire would be right on their heels.
All I could do was nod at my friend before I finally threw myself into his arms and held on for dear life. My body shook as I tried to regain my composure and be able to stand but it was no use. By using my magic at this level of exhaustion, I didn’t know if I would be able to stand on my own. I’d been stupid and reckless but I had to try. Shapes and shadows emerged from the dust and my heart ached when I realized not a single one of them were Ryven. Alric must have seen the devastation on my face as he stood up and tried to dust us both off but it didn’t matter, it was all in vain. The debris still hadn’t settled in the air and by the amount of it, I wondered if it ever would.
“Find the girls, I will search through what wreckage I can to find him.”
I hadn’t noticed I was crying until Reva found me and tried her best to clear the moisture from my cheeks but it was no use, it was more mud now. “That was stupid.”
I nodded my head as a sob escaped my lips and she folded me into her arms. “I’m sure Alric will find him.”
She didn’t sound very convincing and I didn’t have anything left to say. When Alric emerged from where most of the dust was still rising alone, I felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest. All the breath was sucked out of my lungs and nothing could have prepared me for the bone-deep desperation I was feeling. No amount of books, gossip, other people’s stories could have prepared me for what this felt like.
“I’m so sorry,” Alric muttered as he went to stand beside Ash. I blinked rapidly while I shook my head. It wasn’t true. It couldn’t be true. No one could fight like him, no one trained like he did. If anyone would survive, it would be him. There was no going around it. I shoved Reva’s hands off of me and marched toward the direction The Spy Master had come from but bigger arms hefted me from the dirt and carried me back the way I came.
“I don’t like manhandling women, but you cannot go back there, it is too dangerous and your body is exhausted. We are all exhausted, My Queen.” Fighting Leo was a lost cause and I eventually let my body sag within his grip. He wasn’t going to let me go back and risk myself. He wasn’t going to go back at all. His long strides didn’t pause or stop and eventually, the movement of his massive body lulled me into a passive, almost dreamlike state. It wasn’t until the sun broke through on the horizon that I finally rubbed the grit and debris from my eyes and looked at my surroundings. I didn’t know how long the giant carried me but I knew I was grateful because I no longer had it in me to fight.
Which was horrible considering none of this was over with and we didn’t know what we would be facing in The Wastes, butI found myself not caring. I found myself numb and not feeling. Reva kept shooting me worried glances over her shoulder and Alric sulked behind us. I didn’t have it in me to even look in his direction, knowing well enough that he was hurting as much as I was. Ryven was his best friend, his confidant. They didn’t always see eye to eye or get along, but they had a strong bond. They’d known each other since they were children and saved each other’s lives on many occasions.
Even though we’d seen a peek of the sun on the horizon, it didn’t mean anything. The clouds quickly moved in to cover its warmth and within a few hours of walking through The Wastes, it was covered in snow. I honestly didn’t know which was worse, the biting wind or the snow flurries bigger than my fist.
“We need to find shelter so we can rest,” Reva said around her teeth chattering.
Leo shook his head. I didn’t know how he wasn’t freezing, maybe my body heat was helping him. “We cannot stop.”
“We are going to die of frostbite or exhaustion. Take your pick.” Reva jabbed her pointer finger at the big man. His chest rumbled with laughter and it did something to thaw my insides but it didn’t take long for me to go back to being numb. When had I even stopped crying? I couldn’t say. I didn’t remember the tears stopping. I touched my cheeks tenderly and they burned from all the cold wind. Tiny specs of snow were stuck to the moisture that dried on my face. Maybe I didn’t have any more tears to cry. That seemed like the most logical thing to have happened.
“Then we will die because if we stop, the fraud kingdom will catch up to us. I know they are on our heels, I can feel the rumbling in the earth. We need to make it to the river and pray it has frozen over for us.”
“If it hasn’t?” Ash questioned from somewhere behind the big man.
His kind eyes flicked down to me. “Our queen will know what to do.”
A hysterical laugh exploded from me. “I’m sure.”
Everyone ignored my outburst and continued the trek in silence.
My lips were burningand my cheeks lost feeling a long time ago. Between the wind, the rain, and the snow—I was sure I looked like a dead woman walking. I didn’t remember falling asleep in Leo’s arms, but when I awoke, I was being dropped on my ass and there was chaos erupting around me all over again. The snow didn’t do much to cushion my fall but I didn’t care anymore. I couldn’t feel my body and I most certainly couldn’t feel my emotions.
With stiff fingers, I wrestled my blade from my belt and tried my hardest to keep myself from crying as I looked at it. I couldn’t let my emotions surge again. I needed to help, or maybe I needed to stay put. No one seemed to care about me over here, drowning in the snow. The monsters dipped down from the sky as they shot out ice from their mouths and picked up men with their talons.
Red sprayed the snowy landscape around us and I pushed myself out of the mush melting against my clothes. I couldn’t stay put, if I did I would surely drown in the water filling the hole I’d been deposited into.
It also helped that I was feeling something more than numbness and desperation. Red-hot rage surged through me as I scrambled out of the melting snow and into the fray of bodiesand screaming. I couldn’t feel my fingers but that didn’t stop me from gripping my blade with everything I had and running at the first monster I saw.
“Ahhh!!” A warrior cry exploded from me as I slashed and sliced at the ice lizard. His tongue shot out but I was quicker. The wiggling membrane landed on the ground with a thud and the monster screamed. It swiped its claws out and caught some of my hair but I couldn’t feel it. All I felt was a blood call and I was ready to answer it. Avoiding its claws again, I jabbed my weapon forward and bright blue blood exploded all over my front. What did it matter? I was already disgusting and I had no one to impress anymore. All I cared about was the rage warming my blood and getting feeling back into my limbs.
Monster after monster went down at my hands. I couldn’t tell you what they looked like or how their blood felt as it ran down my weapon and onto my fingers. By the time the hoard was taken care of, I was a mess of black, blue and purple splatters. I didn’t know what kind of monsters the blood even belonged to and I didn’t care. I leaned over and heaved in massive lungfuls of air before Leo approached me slowly.
He held his hands up in surrender, as if I wouldn’t know it was him. Maybe I wouldn’t have. Had I attacked one of my friends? As my gaze roamed around the survivors, I noticed their wary glances. Had I been that frightening? I honestly couldn’t remember and it was probably best that I didn’t. When Leo offered me a water skin I drank from it greedily, forgetting about the others that probably needed it just as much, if not more, than I did. I dropped it back into his meaty palm before I straightened up, wiped my blade on my soiled pants, and eyed my people.
I’d been nothing but a spoiled heartbroken queen all morning and I couldn’t be that for these people any longer. They needed a strong leader and as much as I wanted to curl into a fetal position and cry some more, I couldn’t. In the mixof survivors, there were teenagers, soldiers, mothers, and even the elderly. When they’d joined us, I didn’t know. The entire beginning of the journey was a blur.
I sheathed my blade and straightened my shoulders. I would cry when I was alone. I would mourn when I didn’t have people looking at me, pitying me, fearing me. I would hurt when I had the time but that time was not now. “We have a lot of ground to cover.”
I couldn’t feel my feet anymore and I was sure there were more blisters than I could count hiding within my boots but we needed to get to safety and that meant getting out of The Wastes.
