I shook my head. “No, he didn’t make me do anything like that. He made me see Rafe for the first time when the pack was on my trail. We could have avoided the entire thing had I known that children were held hostage but I think Damian was just trying to show me the power he could wield. I don’t think he actually cared about how the interactions went.”
Lucas nodded to himself. “This should be an interesting day. I think Granny is going to offer me compensation for being the child’s monkey though and I don’t like that.”
“High ball her,” I shrugged as I pulled a sweatshirt over my tank top. “What’s the worst she could say? No? Then what? She’s out of a test dummy.”
“I guess I could use the money. I would like to contribute around here.” He looked down into his empty yogurt container. “Buy groceries and such.”
“I’m sure there are other jobs around the pack. Talk to Alice.” Then an idea struck me. “You could be my assistant and make me smoothies.”
His face fell. “I do not like that idea. I think I would be better off as Valentina’s mind slave.”
I wanted to tell him that it wasn’t that bad, but I knew it was. I had been on the other end of it. “Maybe they will find a coven that will take her in and you won’t have to do it anymore or for very long.”
Lucas rolled his eyes skyward. “Except she’s rare. Her kind of magic was snuffed out for a reason. Mind slaves were a thing for entirely too long. Her line of magic is royalty and powerful. You won’t find a coven that will want her and you won’t find any witches wanting to come forward to admit they have the same magic. She could very well be the last of her kind.”
My head was aching by the time lunch rolled around. When Rafe knocked on the door, I had completely forgetten I had promised him lunch.
“Working hard or hardly working?”
My lips twisted. “You sound like my dad. When did you become a middle-aged man?”
His face contorted in mock horror. “When I discovered my mate and started making all these middle-aged plans.”
A hum rumbled up my chest. Nalia was very pleased with his words. I rolled my eyes.Get over yourself.I thought to her.
“The war room is a place that my father’s father designed to plan war and other activities that women weren’t allowed to sit in on,” Rafe paused. “I don’t want to run a pack like that. I want my mate beside me in my planning but I will warn you that emotions aren’t allowed in there. We must be professional, even if Knox is not.”
My chair squeaked as I turned it around and grabbed my purse. Then thought better of it and shoved it into the bottom drawer. I followed Rafe out of my office and locked the door behind me. His eyebrows met his hairline.
I shrugged. “There’s a lot of information in there. I’m not worried about my wallet. It’s practically empty.”
A growl rumbled down the hall. My eyes snapped to Rafe in surprise. “My wolf doesn’t like that. He wants to take care of you. He wants to shower you in everything you could ever want.”
A thrill washed over me. I had never been the kind of woman that wanted to be taken care of but I wasn’t exactly mad about what he was saying either. Nalia purred right back and I thought I was going to be sick.Can you two save it for the full moon?I thought to her.
She sighed with dramatic flare.No, because neither of you will accept the bond yet and the last thing I want is to be kicked from your mind for claiming my mate.
They would have to stay apart for the full moon. I wasn’t exactly surprised by this. The wolves had accepted the bond, Rafe had accepted the bond. The only one that hadn’t was me. I was still fighting my humanity and who I had been raised to be.
“I would like to swear myself to you and your pack,” The words escaped my lips before I could stop them. Rafe pivoted on his foot and stared down at me with a bit of confusion visible on his face.
“Are you sure about that? I think you’re a Sigma and they don’t do well under Alphas.” He swallowed and I watched as his jaw twitched. He didn’t want to deny me but he was giving me the chance to walk away.
“What does that mean?” No one had explained this to me and I was still confused as I had been that first shift.
“It means you’re a lone wolf. You don’t need the social standards that other wolves need. They need the pack dynamic. You technically aren’t less dominant than I am but when you swear to the pack you will have to bow down. Your wolf could fight it.” His lips slid together in a thin line. I could smell how upset he was in the air. He didn’t want to dissuade me from being in the pack but he respected me enough to tell me. “You might never be happy here.”
“Nalia accepted you and this pack before I did. I think she will be fine.” She practically panted in my head with acceptance. She wanted to be here more than I did.
Rafe could probably smell her desperation in the air. She wanted to be accepted but his words made something hurt in my chest. “You may never be accepted here. Women aren’t looked to for dominance. They raise the cubs, they hold the pack together. Females don’t go to war or have their own thoughts. They rely on their mates for mostly everything. Most females aren’t dominant. You wouldn’t get acceptance from the people here. Just like Tracey never has.”
It was no secret that Tracey was a lone wolf too. “Then why does Tracey stay here? She’s a lone wolf too, huh?”
Rafe sighed and it ripped through me. It was filled with too much pain. I could see the weight that he carried on his shoulders. It was too much. Would I ever be the one to take from it and put it on my own or would I only add to to the weight there? “She’s my Beta. There are no Betas in our world that are female.” I was about to say something when he held his hand up. “When she was a child, my father felt the dominance in her. At such a young age he sent her to other packs. They toured the entire country and were in talks of going overseas. He had to see if she was just dominant here in our pack or if it was a universal thing. From what he gathered… it wasn’t just our pack. It was every pack. She outranked wolves as a child. It made many packs angry with us. How could we have these abominations? My father never once considered her that. He just imagined that things were changing for the better. That the gods had finally heard the prayers of our females. I don’t know why she stays, but maybe you should ask her. It could help you make your decision for yourself and your life.”
“If she’s your Beta then why is Axel in that position? I’m confused.”
Rafe smiled and tilted his head to the side. He pressed his hand to the small of my back and my stomach dipped at the contact. I didn’t know if he knew what he was doing to me, but I wasn’t angry about it. “Because Axel is worried about her and what that will do to her standing in the pack. I think he also wants her to continue to be his little girl for longer. It’s a very complicated answer but he will be stepping down soon. I think he’s been waiting for her to prove herself all these years so it’s easier for the rest of the pack to accept her.”
I couldn’t wrap my head around it. This new world was much more complicated than I thought it could be. Everything I had been wanting was a mess in my head. What if I couldn’t swear to this pack and to Rafe? Would I be allowed to stay or would I have to forever be alone? Forced to live with the craze rogues? These questions fought to the tip of my tongue but I didn’t let them escape. My uncertainty was strong in the air. I had a lot I had to consider.
