“I won’t discuss this with you again, Kota. I’m not selling the bar.” I shut the door and looked at him over the hood. “That is all I have of Jack and Vivian.”
He spat on the concrete and snarled at me. “Do you really think that matters?”
I scowled back at him. “Yes, it does to me and if you love me like yousayyou do. You won’t press me on it again.”
Dad sat out on the back patio alone and watched the sun dip down behind the red mountains. Sometimes when the sun hit them just right they looked like they were on fire. They matched the feeling in my soul on a good day. I didn’t know what to say so I sat down next to him and watched the sunset.
“I’ve made many mistakes in my life,” He cleared his throat. I didn’t know if I could look at him so I watched him out of the corner of my eye. He had tight braids in his salt and pepper hair. All the alcohol had caught up with him and he looked old. He had deep bags under his eyes and more wrinkles than momma. The years hadn’t been kind to him. “I saw my father beat my mother to death in a drunken rage. You would think I would have stopped the cycle.”
I stayed silent and looked down at my hands.
“I know you don’t want to hear this, but I always held out hope you were still alive.” Something broke inside of me. A bunch of little pieces shattered. “I thought about you every night, led search after search for you. I didn’t know what to do. I worked with the police, even after serving jail time for what I did to your momma.”
“You went to jail?” I couldn’t imagine it. Daddy in an orange jumpsuit.
“Yeah for a few years.” He coughed into his fist then turned to me. His dark eyes had lightened as he had gotten older. They had once resembled the bark on a tree but now they mimicked the color of the whiskey he had gotten lost in. “You’re prettier than I ever imagined.”
His wrinkled, worn hands found mine and before I knew it, more tears were rolling down my face. I was happy I had quit trying with the makeup. I was tired of looking like a raccoon every night.
“I know you have a head for business too, that’s what Kia said.” His lips trembled. “I am so proud of you. I know the road wasn’t easy, but I hope it was worth it. I hope you found a love worth the fight and the heartache.”
I knew he was talking about Vivian and Jack but my mind skipped over to Derek. My heart skipped a beat. Could that be the love I had always wanted? The love I had waited and suffered for?
“Don’t look so terrified.” His thumb grazed my chin.
“Vivian and Jack were the best thing out of all of it. They taught me so much.” I gulped down my nerves of talking about my other parents with my real parent.
Dad laughed. “I wasn’t talking about them.”
My eyebrows pulled together in confusion. “How do you know about Derek?”
“I make a point of listening to the gossip.” His shoulders shook as he laughed at my shocked expression. “I hear this Derek is quite the hard-ass.”
My face flushed. Derek did have quite the ass but I wasn’t going to admit that my dad. “Derek is a friend.”
“A friend that you talk to all hours of the day?” His gray eyebrow cocked and his grin mocked me.
I managed to turn away from my prideful father and find Kota’s eyes watching me through the windows. “Traitor,” I mouthed to him. All he did was smirk.
I had left one bunch of overly confident men to come home to another bunch of unruly, cocky men. I just couldn’t escape them.
“All I want to know is that he’s nice.”
I chewed on my lip for a minute as I thought of Derek Mule. Derek Mule was sexy, brooding, and stubborn. He grunted his joys, his frustrations, and his indifference.Nicewasn’t a word I would use to describe him. Dad gave me a worried glance and I let out a soft laugh. “He’s respectful and honest. He would never harm me.”
Dad nodded. He planted his palms on either of his knees and pushed himself from the chair. “All I want is for you to be loved the way I never knew how.” He held his rough hand out to me and I couldn’t help but smile. He wasn’t the same dad. He was softer, older, and wiser. Maybe he had changed for good. Either way, I didn’t know if I wanted to stick around to get hurt again or not. I slipped my hand into his and he yanked me out of my patio chair and straight into his arms. The big burly man that had been tougher than nails had turned into a giant teddy bear. He pressed his nose into the top of my hair and inhaled deeply.
“There were so many times I thought about holding you again.” His voice cracked and he tried to cover it up with a laugh. I didn’t miss it though. “So many times I imagined this reunion. I wish I was worthy of it.”
I bit my lip to keep myself from falling apart again. I was really getting tired of crying. But I had a feeling that wasn’t going to stop anytime soon. “I forgive you.” My voice shook with emotion. “And I’m not doing it for you. I’m doing it for me. I’m doing it because I should have let go of this hatred long ago. I never realized how much it poisoned me until now.” It was true. My shoulders didn’t feel so heavy anymore and my head felt clearer. “I never wanted to because I thought you didn’t deserve it. But I was wrong. You have tried for the last ten years to make up for everything you have done. I wish we had more time.”
Dad braced his hands on either of my shoulders and shoved me back some. Tears welled up in the corners of his amber eyes. “We have plenty of time. I hear you have a nice apartment in a good area.”
He wasn’t expecting me to move back. Something had certainly changed in my father and I was overjoyed I got to see it now.
Dad held my hand in his as the twins ran around the couch. Maze brought me a glass of water and Kia watched us while he nursed a beer. Kota scowled at Kia and Kia pretended he didn’t know what was going on. The front door burst open and my other brother strolled in. Though it took me a minute to recognize him. His long black hair was bleached white and he had the center of his bottom lip pierced. My eyebrows met my hairline as I looked him over. He was thin and sinewy. He resembled a Greek god. His jeans were ripped at the knees and his tank top looked like bleach had gotten ahold of it in a few different spots. Though it was probably intentional. He tossed his backpack by the white recliner and the twins forgot about us. They attacked my brother with love and affection. He laughed and I could almost remember the good ole days. His light brown eyes found mine and he grinned.
“The lost daughter has returned!”
