Aiyanna
Derek had talkedto me for three hours. He let me pour out my thoughts, my dreams, my heartache. Everything. Which wasn’t a surprise. He wasn’t very talkative but he cared and that was all that mattered. He listened. Then I cried and told him about how I was overwhelmed and felt like my world was crashing down around me. He told me he would pick me up from the airport if I needed him. But I wasn’t going to run away again.
I ran the brush through my hair and put a little bit of makeup on. I was going to meet the twins tonight and hopefully Shilah. I was also going to apologize to my sister-in-law, even though I didn’t like the thought of that. Islah stood in the doorway and watched as I finished up on my hair.
“It’s so weird that you’re here. After all of these years, I didn’t think this was going to be possible.” Islah’s lips pressed together and emotion filled her eyes.
I shrugged. “I never thought I would come back here. I didn’t think this life would be mine again.”
Islah opened her mouth like she was going to say something then closed it. She sighed and then opened her mouth again. “Your brothers love you, okay?”
I nodded my head. I knew something was up. It was like my mother was trying to warn me from the spirit realm. I had been feeling strange since I had gotten up this morning. I couldn’t shake it. I knew something was going to happen tonight.
“Please remember that.” Then she was gone and I was left wondering what the hell was up.
But when we got to Kia’s house I felt it in the air. I pulled the picture of Vivian out of my purse and hugged it to my chest. It was the only thing that brought me comfort. Islah slipped her hand in mine and I knew what it was. My father was here. I tried to pull my hand from her grasp. She looked at me with understanding but she wasn’t going to release me. I shook my head and I knew I was going to panic. Everything inside of me was screaming. I couldn’t do this. I wouldn’t do this. I had told them that I wouldn’t face him again. But here they were trying to gut me. Tears threatened my vision. I planted my heels into the driveway and a cry escaped my lips. Kota came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.
“No,” I fought against his grip. Islah let go of my hand and gave me a worried glance before she left us. “You don’t understand! NO!”
“Hear me out, Aiya, please.” His voice had taken on a new note, one that was going to shred me apart. I couldn’t do this. My breathing was coming out at a faster rate and I was starting to get light-headed.
“You don’t understand! I ran for a reason! I can’t do this!” I clawed at his arms around my middle and bucked my body. I tried to head butt him but he evaded the movement. I pierced his side with my elbow. He let out a hiss and released me. I didn’t know where I was going but I wasn’t staying. I took off like a bat out of hell and ran for my life. I heard Kota swear as he raced behind me.
I took my phone out but there was no use. Who was I going to call? The police wouldn’t do anything for me. My brother was in on it. I hit Derek’s number before I could change my mind and ran as fast as I could. That was the one thing that I had to my advantage. I had always been fast. My long legs carried me well.
“Hello?” His voice was groggy like he had been sleeping.
“H-hey,” My voice came out in a gasp. It had been so long since I had run like this. Since I had felt like I was going to die. Since I had needed an escape.
“What’s wrong?” His voice was alert immediately.
A car pulled out and didn’t see me. The person laid on their horn as I passed them up. My heart was surely going to explode at this rate.
“What’s going on, Aiyanna?” He sounded worried now but I couldn’t respond. I called him for nothing, what was he supposed to do on the other side of the country?
“They blindsided me.” Pain tore through my throat. “My father was there.”
“Hey,” His voice wasn’t as worried now. “It’s going to be okay.”
“They tried to drag me in there. They weren’t going to tell me.” The tears were streaming down my face now and no matter how many times I wiped at my cheeks, it didn’t matter. The tears kept coming until I gave up on trying to run and clean my face. I didn’t know where I was going but as soon as I saw the highway in the distance I picked up my pace. I couldn’t hear Kota chasing after me anymore which wasn’t a good thing. He probably went back to get his car, which meant I didn’t have much time left.
“You’re trying to run away again.” His words broke me all over again. He was right. I had come here to face my fears and my demons and now I was regressing. I was failing. I was drowning.
There was nowhere for me to hide out here, I should have known it. I was in a desert. A playground loomed in the distance. I raced toward it. My feet slapped the pavement as I got closer. Finally, I skidded to a stop in front of it and placed my hands on my knees.
“Do you want to know a secret?” Derek’s voice asked me tenderly. “You inspired me to stop running, Aiyanna.”
“I don’t know if my heart can handle any more pain, Derek.”
“Good thing I’m not here to hurt you.”
My eyes stung from all the running and crying.
“When I was eighteen I was a firefighter. I was in love with a girl. I had everything I could ever dream of.” I knew his story was going to hurt, but I listened anyway. His voice calmed something inside of me. “My dad was a firefighter before me and it made sense. I graduated top of my class, I was popular. I had the girl, I had the money and I had the grades. I thought I was untouchable. A few years passed and I was supposed to get married. The week of the wedding was chaos, I didn’t think I could be any happier. My parents kicked me out and had her and her entire family stayed there as they got ready for the big day. No big deal, I stayed at the firehouse.” He couldn’t even say her name. A wayward tear escaped my eye and dripped onto my jeans. I pushed myself on the swing and the wind ruffled my hair. “The night before the wedding I was out for my bachelor trip and there was a fire. My parents lived in the middle of nowhere.” His voice broke then and I had to clench my jaw to keep myself from falling apart with him, all over again. “By the time the firehouse got word of the fire, it had been blazing for awhile. I was right behind the truck but when I got there the roof was starting to cave in. I barreled through the front of the house and I didn’t care that I didn’t have protective gear on. All I cared about was saving them. Saving my parents and my future wife. Nothing else mattered.”
This time a sob ripped through me and I had to press my fist into my teeth. Kota’s SUV pulled into the parking lot across from me but he didn’t get out. I was thankful for that. He could see I was having a meltdown. He probably assumed it was because of dad.
“When I woke up a few days later my arms were charred and my the skin on my back was badly burned.” He stopped and sucked in a breath of air. All I wanted to do was wrap my arms around him. “All I could think about is that it was my fault. Her parents made it out alive, but they never forgave me. They told me that I would never love again because everything I loved would die.”
