There’s only one place I can go now. It’s not the best option, considering I have to go through the tunnels to get there, but it’s Sunday. There won’t be many students working now, and I’m hoping those that are there haven’t heard any of the news yet.
My teeth are chattering as I rush through the cold tunnels, sniffing back the tears I know will fall the moment I’m safe.
I pass two witches who barely look in my direction.
My heart stutters when I see the silver eyes of a wolf shifter. I’m literally feet from my private potions room, so I pick up my speed. The wolf starts walking toward me. With shaking fingers, I open the lock and slip inside before they even say a word.
I pant, back against the door. I buckle every lock, and then I slide to the ground. For all I know, that wolf was friendly or didn’t even know who I was.
You believe this is real, but you still don’t know if I killed her.
I run my hands through my hair then curl them into fists. He doesn’t understand.
I have to assume the worst so often because the moment I let my guard down, the moment one person means to cause me harm, I die.
That’s how it works for us.
That’s how it ended for Liz and how it very well may end for me too. Because I no longer have Jarron’s protection, but I sure as hell have a massive target on my back. Not only do supernaturals have a sick obsession with picking through powerful being’s leftovers, but now they all know I’ve been researching them. Spying on them, from their perspective.
I curl over my shaking legs, and one single sob breaks out of me before I control it. The potions room is cold and miserable. The ground hard and damp. There’s one halfway decent chair, but it’s across the room, and I can’t pull my body that far right now.
All I can think about is how much I messed up.
I don’t know.
How can you not know?
This time, I can’t stop the sobs from rising. This is just like me, isn’t it? Realize how incredible he is and the life I could have with him, just to lose it all.
And it’s my own fault.
Because I’m the one that can’t trust. I’m the one too blind to see what’s right in front of me.
Horns or scales or fangs, whatever. He’s still him. He’s still Jarron. And it was real.
Was.
It’s not real anymore.
My protector is gone. My friend is gone. My chance to find answers is gone.
My whole body is shaking now, tears streaming down my face. I’m so pathetic. So dumb. I’ve gotten nowhere on answers about my sister’s death.
A random hunch about the headmaster that’s probably a massive stretch. I lean all the way over until my forehead is pressed to the cold stone of flooring then tip to the side until I’m a ball on the floor. More pathetic tears and feeling sorry for my stupid, cowardly self.
* * *
I lie here,miserably cold and sad for, I don’t know, around an hour? An hour of being the pathetic human they all expect.
The lost doe without her beast to protect her.
Screw that.
I’m shivering when I finally force my body up. My chest is still tight and aching. My eyes are red and puffy. I feel absolutely terrible in just about every way.
But this can’t be the end of it. I look over to my line of cauldrons. A few of my potions are just waiting to be bottled.
I don’t want to be the pathetic human. I don’t want to be the doe waiting for her protector. With or without Jarron, I’m going to finish this.
