“You used me,” he says, head rolling back, staring at the ceiling. “Just like they all do.”
“It was your idea,” I mutter stubbornly. Stupid comment, I know. But still true.
Jarron barks out a bitter laugh. “You’re right. It was my idea. I was trying to help! Unless you think that was all a ploy too. You think you are next?”
“No,” I say, voice still quiet, heart still broken. “I don’t know what I think.”
He releases a breath through his nose. “You don’t know what you think,” he repeats incredulously. “Are you fucking kidding me? I’m asking if you think I’m amurderer, and your answer isyou don’t know? Why not?” he yells, spreading his arms wide. “I’m a demon. A monster. Eager to kill and destroy. Why wouldn’t I kill the meaningless, weak human girl?”
His words hit like a physical blow.
Jarron freezes. “That’s all you think of me, isn’t it?” His body is so still. His words so low, they rumble. He spins to face me, his eyes entirely black. “That I’m some evil bastard that seduced your sister and killed her, for what? You think it’s all a game to destroyyou?”
“No,” I say, but it’s so quiet I don’t know if he hears me.
“What about last night, then? What was that?” He analyzes my expression. “You—you were pretending?”
“No,” I say firmly this time. “No, I believe you care about me. This is real, I believe that.”
He scoffs. “You believe this is real?” He points between me and him. “But you can’t look me in the eye when I show you even a hint of what I really am. You believe this is real, but you still don’t know if I killed her?”
My lips part, but no sounds comes out. “I—” I stutter, trying to wrap my mind around it all. Trying to figure out all of those jagged pieces in my mind. Trying to catch my damn breath.
“I’m the big bad wolf out to steal your virtue and destroy your soul. You think I’m so terrible and immoral and that I’d doanythingto lure in the weak human girl, including murder her own sister. How pathetic do you take me for?”
That’s it. The moment my heart shatters.
My bottom lip trembles but I refuse to cry before him. “You think I don’t know that?” My words tremble, too soft. I want to scream them. “You think I don’t realize that I amnothing. I always knew that. You’re this great prince, destined to rule an entire world, Jarron. And I am the weak little human. I know. I’ve known since the day my parents told me what you were. The day you showed us your true form. The day I couldn’t stop you and couldn’t save her. Not only could I never be worthy of the legacy you were born into, but I couldn’t save the people I care about.”
Jarron blinks, eyelashes fluttering. His face is slack, emotionless. Only his eyes flare wide.“That’s not what—”
“It’s doesn’t matter.” I step back. “It’s true.Twoinvestigators stopped looking into my sister’s death because she wasn’t as important as the suspects. I’m sorry I accused you in my journal. I’m sorry I can’t tell you I believe your innocence without question.” Tears threaten to well again. Jarron reaches for me, but I twist from his grasp. I don’t know if he would have held me or hurt me. But I don’t want either.
I expected it. Knew it would come.
Knew I wasn’t good enough to keep his attention. I don’t know if it’s better or worse that it’s my own damn fault that this happened.
I just need to leave.
I charge past him and escape into the hall. I half expect him to come after me. But his door remains closed.
42
Note to Self: Don’t Wallow In Despair. Get Angry
I standin front of the gates to Minor Hall, panting, heart aching, trying my darndest not to flip out.
“What the hell is this?” I whisper to the closed gates with a sign that reads:temporarily closed.
My dorms are closed? How? Why?
“Some pipe burst or something,” a pixie mutters, flying over my head then down the hall.
“So, what are we supposed to do?” I call, but she’s already gone and no one else is around. This is not the time I want to be displaced from my rooms. I can’t go to Elite Hall because Jarron now hates me and who knows how everyone else will react to the news that I’m investigating them all.
I can’t go to the public places in the school because that’ll mean facingeveryone. They’ll ask me tons of questions—about the gala or the breakup, doesn’t matter. Any questions at all will destroy me right now.
I turn on my heel and run.
