“Seriously, Peanut? Do you honestly think you have time for any of that?” He sucked his teeth. “It now makes sense why you’re not applying for other jobs. Damn it, Peanut! I told y’all worry about these niggas later and get to the bag first!”
“Gio, that’s not what I’m doing! I know my end goal, but it’s okay for me to have fun. I’m not marrying him!” I defended.
“Man, and don’t! Get your bag first. I see how niggas are every day. They only want one thing.”
“I know, Gio. I got this, okay? I’m just having fun right now. That’s it,” I insisted, exhausted.
“Good, and start back staying home at night. It seems like you’re nothing but a booty call to him anyway.”
I’d had enough. I wasn’t expecting this phone call to be about my personal life and what I was doing. Gio didn’t know boundaries and tended to overstep. I couldn’t handle anything else on top of everything that happened with Jabari and Kya.
“Alright, Gio. I’ve got some stuff to handle. I’ll call later.”
“Hmm. Remember what the hell I said, Peanut. Worry about your business first and these niggas last.”
“Bye, Gio. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
We ended the call, and I tossed my phone aside. Today was already too much, and I was over it. The light feeling from earlier had vanished. I felt as if, as soon as things felt right, some sort of curveball was thrown into it. It felt as if I didn’t deserve happiness like everyone else. I laid down on the couch and shut my eyes to stop the exhausted tears from falling. This was too much, and I need to reset. I was content with my life prior to Jabari, but the feeling of him was addicting.
“Amina, Amina?”
I felt my body being shaken while my name was being called. I opened my eyes to see Jabari standing over me. I slowly sat up and saw that the sun was no longer shining through the window.
“How long have I been sleeping?”
“A couple of hours. After I talked to JaBria, I came out, and you were fast asleep. I handled what I had to handle and started dinner. It should be done soon.”
I nodded, and I stood to my feet. My mind told me to take a break from it all. A part of me felt like I needed to reel everything in. Everything was moving too fast, in my opinion, when there was no understanding of what was happening. I needed the space to reflect.
“Actually, can I get my food to go? I’m going to head home for the night?”
Jabari looked at me confused. “Why? What’s going on? Was it Kya?”
I shook my head. Even though it involved Kya, she wasn’t the main reason. Gio had gotten into my head.
“No, I think we just need a bit of space from each other. I’ve been over here every night since we first linked, and I just miss sleeping in my bed.”
“Amina...” Jabari held my hands, searching my eyes.
I looked everywhere but at him. I mustered up a smile to stop the pressure from being too much on me. I wanted to get out of there to decompress. I was feeling overwhelmed.
“Jabari, I’m okay. I swear I am. I’m just missing my bed.”
He sighed. “Alright. I’ll fix it to go. You promise you’re not lying to me. Nothing’s bothering you, right?”
I nodded.
He looked at me for a few more seconds before he turned and headed to the kitchen. My chest relaxed once he had disappeared from my view. This was more challenging than expected, and I wasn’t sure how to handle it.
A few minutes later, Jabari returned with two Tupperware containers. The scent of delicious goodness filled my insides with happiness.
“I made a shrimp pasta with white cream sauce. I made a side salad along with it.”
I smiled. “Thank you.”
“I also made you a plate for lunch tomorrow at work.”
