‘Absolutely.’ Drew nodded. ‘I want you to know how important it is to me to find the answers Callum deserves, and if you think of anything you wish you’d asked, you can come back to me at any time. Eden is going to give you my contact details.’
‘Everyone’s been so kind, but Callum would have hated the idea of causing so much fuss. He was such a lovely, easy-going boy.’ The last word caught in Rachael’s throat and turned into a sob that echoed around the room. James put his arm around his wife again, but there was nothing that he or any of them could say to lift burden of pain they’d both be carrying for the rest of their lives.
* * *
Drew and Eden walked away from the viewing room together. Her shift had been over for more than an hour, but she’d warned her parents that she was going to be late. Eden’s arms ached to hold Teddie and feel the weight of his solid little body against hers, knowing he was safe. But before she went home to him there was something she needed to do.
‘That made such a difference to them.’ Eden caught hold of Drew’s arm, once they were out of the emergency department, and they both stopped walking. ‘I could see it in Rachael’s eyes as soon as you started to explain.’
‘You made far more difference than I ever could. The way you hugged her when we were leaving. I could never do that, but I could tell it made her feel as if someone really cared about her and I also know it wasn’t an act on your part. You really do care, and in terrible situations like this that’s all someone wants to know.’
‘Who’d have thought we had so much in common.’ She managed a half smile, but she wished she could have folded herself into his arms.
‘I always thought we had a lot in common, once you get below the surface. You just have to get past the fact that you’re vivacious and I’m… well, me.’
‘I’m really glad you’re exactly the person you are.’ Eden leant forward and kissed him on the lips, so momentarily that even a passerby might have to question if they’d really seen it.
‘Good.’ It was a typically brief reply, but a smile was tugging at the corners of Drew’s mouth that said far more than his words. They’d been edging around the way they clearly both felt, taking one step forwards and often two steps back, but Eden wasn’t sure what they were waiting for any more. Days like this were a stark reminder that tomorrow wasn’t promised to anyone, and she didn’t want to edge around her feelings for Drew even for one more day. She wanted to lay everything out, the way he probably needed her to, in order to be sure he hadn’t misunderstood.
‘When can I see you again?’ She watched his face as he processed her question, furrowing his brow.
‘At work?’
‘No. I told you before how much I like you, Drew, but I don’t just mean as friends. I really enjoy spending time with you, when we’re with Teddie and when we’re on our own too. I don’t want to see you just to talk about Teddie’s diagnosis, or your experience of autism. I want to spend time with you because I like your company more than I like the company of anyone else, except for Teddie. I like how you look, and how it feels to kiss you and hold your hand. I think you might feel the same, but neither of us seems to be very good at moving things forward, probably because we’re both carrying a lot of baggage from our pasts, but I don’t want that to stop us seeing if we might be able to have a future and whether this could become something more than it is already.’
‘I didn’t think you were going to say all of that.’ Drew held her gaze, something she knew he found hard to do, but she still couldn’t gauge his reaction and then he smiled, his whole face changing. ‘You’re right, I do feel the same. I wish I was as articulate as you and that I’d found the words to tell you all of that first, but I suppose it doesn’t matter as long as one of us said it.’
‘It doesn’t matter at all.’ She smiled too. ‘But seeing as you made me say it first, I think the least you can do is to arrange our first official date.’
‘I’ll have to come up with something Teddie will enjoy.’
‘It doesn’t have to be with Teddie.’
‘I know, but I want it to be, as long as you do too? You come as a pair and for me there’s no downside to that. I hoped I might find someone one day, even if I never expected to. But I didn’t think that someone would come with an incredible bonus, and that’s exactly what Teddie is.’
It wouldn’t matter if Drew had promised to take her for dinner in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower, or invited her to watch the sunset with him on a deserted beach, nothing could have been more perfect than what he’d just said.
‘You don’t know how much it means to me to hear you say that.’ She wanted to kiss him again, but now wasn’t the time or the place. It seemed to be the story of their lives lately, but she really hoped that was about to change. ‘I’ll wait for you to tell me when and where we’re meeting then.’
‘I’ll call you later.’ Drew entwined his fingers with hers for a moment, before releasing them. It was funny the way he always left her wanting more, and how he had absolutely no idea what that did to her. There was no side to Drew, no game plan or hidden agenda. It made him about as different from Jesse as it was possible to be, and the only thing that worried her was just how strongly she was starting to feel about him, and what it might mean for her and Teddie if things didn’t work out. She wasn’t going to let that stop her though, just like she wasn’t going to let what had happened with Jesse stop her either. Drew was worth taking a chance on, and so was she. They both deserved to be happy and she had a very strong feeling that this was their chance.
17
Drew had spent a long time thinking about where his date with Eden should be. The most important thing was that it was somewhere, or doing something, that made Teddie happy. Drew knew that would be enough for Eden to enjoy herself, but he wanted there to be something about the date that was just for her. He’d googled a lot of potential ideas, getting a bit side-tracked by a website that suggested tobogganing and cross-country skiing. He’d found himself looking at a resort in Michigan, which led on to research about the average snowfall in the state and how long their ski season was. It was something that happened a lot; the way his brain worked when something piqued his interest was that he wanted to know more about it.
Much to Drew’s surprise, he realised halfway through his research that the thing he was so interested in wasn’t skiing in Michigan at all, it was Eden and Teddie. He was imagining the three of them there together, amongst all that pristine white snow, and wondering whether the little boy would really enjoy it. Cross-country skiing definitely wouldn’t work for Teddie. He had this habit of going completely jelly-legged when he’d had enough of walking. Whenever Eden was holding one of his hands and Drew had the other, he’d immediately go slack so they’d swing him in the air. Teddie loved being spun around too, so he’d probably love tobogganing in the snow, if nothing else. Drew could picture Eden throwing back her head and laughing as she and Teddie whizzed down the hill, and suddenly he wanted to go on holiday to Michigan, with them, just so he could make that vision of them smiling and laughing a reality.
Drew wasn’t prone to making impulsive decisions. Some people with autism were, and others needed everything planned and discussed in advance, with any deviation from those plans something they struggled to deal with. Drew didn’t fit neatly into either of those categories, just like many people with autism. Yet in that moment he could quite easily have given in to the impulse to book a trip to Michigan, despite how ridiculous he knew it sounded. If it had been the right time of year for tobogganing, he might even have done it. For once in his life he wanted to throw caution to the wind and do something no one would expect. It wasn’t snowing in Michigan yet, though. He hoped he and Eden would still be seeing each other when it was and then, who knows, maybe they really could take the trip.
For now he’d settled for something closer to home. They’d be spending most of the day at a theme park that had lots of rides for under-fives, which he was certain would appeal to Teddie’s love of being spun around. It was a forty-five-minute drive from Port Kara to the theme park that was situated between Newquay and Wadebridge. Drew had bought a mobile phone mount for the headrest in his car, so that Teddie would be able to watchPaddingtonon the way if the journey got too much for him, and he’d planned something for the final part of the day, with Eden in mind. Although he was keeping the details of that a secret for now.
‘How did he sleep last night?’ Drew asked, after he’d attached Teddie’s car seat to the Isofix mechanism in his car, and Eden had strapped him in.
‘Not bad. He went off at 8p.m. and was awake at five wanting to bounce on my head, which is pretty good going for Teddie.’
‘Hopefully he’ll make it through a day of adventure then.’
‘He’s going to love it.’ Eden moved closer to Drew, their bodies almost touching as they stood outside the car talking. Love was an overused word, and the literal part of Drew’s brain sometimes made him want to challenge people who used it in throwaway remarks likeI love your new shirt, orI love the hotdogs the hospital restaurant serves. Of course he never actually did that, it would make him a pompous bore, which was just another trait he had no desire to share with his father. People just used ‘love’ when they meant they really liked something. The only shame was if it devalued the word when it really counted. He didn’t know how accurate Eden’s use of the word would turn out to be when it came to describing what Teddie thought of the theme park, but he hoped it was.
