“My name is Cherry,” I piped up.
Alexis floated closer. The flat end of her blade pressed against my leg as she leaned in. “Look at me, Cherry. Do you see a human body?”
“I do not.”
She growled and twirled herself higher in the air. “You do not!” Alexis swung herself around, as if beheading an invisible betrayer. She swung again, and I crawled backward to be further away from her striking range. “That’s because those swindling bastards took the lamp after they werecompletely finewith having me do all the dirty work. Then waited until I used up all of my strength and slammed me into this stupid, STUPID ROCK!” The last of her words came out accompanied by a stabbing motion.
I covered my mouth in shock. “Oh, that’s terrible!”
“Yes, thank you!” she said. Her orange glow faded into a dull hue as she floated closer to the ground. “Gods, it feels so good to talk to someone about this. All I had for company for the past few days was the trees and this uppity squirrel named Patricia. But between you and me, Patricia is kind of a judgmental ass and I just can’t with her anymore.”
A high-pitched chattering echoed from the distance.
The orange hue flared into an angry red. “I will dance on your grave, Patricia,” Alexis simmered as she turned herself toward the trees. I waited with shallow breath until the red faded into the dull gray of the sword’s natural state. Alexis turned back to me, her voice taking on a chipper note. “So anyway, enough about me, what’s going on with you?”
It probably wasn’t the best idea to spill my guts to a random talking sword I just found in the forest. But I was also dying for someone to talk to. “Well, I’m traveling with this dragon– the one I accidentally married, not the one who kidnapped me.” I proceeded to regale Alexis with the weird happenings of my past few days. “I just don’t know what to do about him,” I said finally.
“You don’t know what to do with the hot rich man with the magical castle, who vowed to take you anywhere you wanted to go?” Alexis hummed and leaned against the rock. “Honey, I’m gonna be honest with you. I don’t understand the problem.”
“It sounds dumb if you say it like that,” I grumbled.
“How else am I supposed to say it? You don’t want your hometown destroyed. In a convenient turn of events, your rich dragon husband has a thing for guarding hometowns. It’s a match made in the stars.”
“I know, but… ” I sighed, too frustrated to form the right words. “Five years of my life were snatched away from me by a dragon. I don’t want to be bound to another one without even a day of freedom between the two. It’s just so damn frustrating to have all my choices taken away. At first, I assumed he just wanted to sleep with me, and that was alright by me. To put it bluntly, he’s hot. But married?” I lamented, throwing up my arms in the air. “I don’t even know him. What if he’s weird? Maybe he eats people or is one of those nutcases that eats pasta with no sauce. Just buttery recklessness.”
“I am a sword; I lack the cognitive abilities necessary to comprehend the act of eating. But I see what you’re getting at.”
“You do?” I asked. If a talking sword, of all people, understood my plight, then maybe I wasn’t crazy.
“Yes, I despise being ordered around.”
I drew my knees up to my chest and buried my face in them. “Why can’t I just get railed, see a unicorn, and go home? I don’t want all this extra shit.”
“Extra shit is for the birds,” she mused. “What’s the verdict so far, do you hate him?”
I thought about that for a moment. Dante was pushy, and a little aggravating. Yet if I took out the whole marriage aspect, today was… kinda fun. I couldn’t remember the last time I had fun. He took the time to answer any questions I threw at him, made pit stops anytime I wanted to look around, and made damn sure all my needs were met. Even if he was a little overzealous about it. “No, I don’t think I hate him. I’m just frustrated.”
“Well, that’s something, I guess.” Alexis turned toward a spot up in the trees, then rotated herself to point her blade. “Hey, is that your man up there?” I followed her gaze to see the head of a dark-haired woman, peering at us. Blood-red lips curled back in a wicked smile as our eyes caught.
“No,” I said, swallowing. “No, she is not.” I stiffened when a twig snapped behind me. My head whipped around to find another woman with red hair leering at us from high in the trees. The redhead stepped closer, revealing long bare breasts that swung like pendulums as she moved. The skin of her torso bled into the feathery body of a bird. Upsettingly sharp-looking talons adorned her feet and dug into the tree bark with each step. A winged shadow passed over us and a third bird woman landed next to the first one.
“Harpies,” I whispered. Enough of them had made appearances in my fantasy novels to be recognizable. Unfortunately, they were never exactly nice or friendly in any of the books I had read. I could only hope they were much friendlier in person. Judging by the way the redhead was licking her lips, I wouldn’t have bet on it. Slowly, I got to my feet and put my back against the stone.
The dark-haired harpy swivelled her head to the side like an owl. “Lost?” she asked.
Her gleeful tone made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. “No, I’m not lost. Just looking for my cat.”
The newest harpy cackled. Her long black hair fell in front of her, shielding her chest. “We are looking for food.”
Yeah, I bet you are.
“Well, I have some travel rations at my camp if you’re hungry,” I offered. If I could lure them back to Dante, maybe I stood a chance.
Black talons impatiently clicked against tree bark. She leaned closer and shimmied her shoulders. “But I see food right here. And we’ve flown such a long way. Haven’t we, ladies?”
The other harpies murmured in agreement. “I just don’t think I could fly any further for a bite,” said the redhead.
With a screech, the first harpy launched herself off her perch. I dove to the ground, narrowly avoiding her talons. They scraped against the rock as she pivoted herself and flung toward me. Screaming, I rolled out of the way, then grabbed fistfuls of mud and threw them into the harpy’s eyes.
