“Well, here’s to trust, I guess,” I said, opening the latch. The cat shot out in a white blur and darted toward the forest. I watched her disappear into the thick trees with grim annoyance. “Immediate betrayal.”
I ran a hand down my face and pushed myself to my feet. As much as I’d love to flop down and sleep the day away like Dante, I couldn’t get behind the thought of letting the fluffy little shit get eaten by a fox or something. That would definitely make me feel guilty.
I shoved the rest of the dried meat back into my pack and followed Rebekah. She was already out of sight, but I knew where she had gone.
Maybe I should have put a leash on the damn thing?
The forest was an odd place. It felt like I was walking through the woods at home, except everything was ten times bigger and twice as eerie. The trees were enormous, even the underbrush that clung to their branches was enormous. There was enough space in between each tree to fit an entire carriage, while slivers of sunlight broke through the dense canopy overhead.
“Just how big do these things actually grow?” I muttered to myself.
As I walked deeper into the forest, the ground got progressively softer until it was almost mud. The air was thick with the smell of damp earth and the faintest hint of rotting vegetation. I passed several sets of animal tracks, but none of them looked anything like a feline print.
“Hey!” A voice called out. “Lady with the blue coat, come over here!”
I whipped around, trying to find the source of the voice. “Up here! To your left!” The voice shouted again.
I brushed some ferns out of my eyes and peered through the woods to spot a blade embedded in a massive rock. The rusted metal of the sword shone in the sunlight that passed through the canopy. No one else seemed to be in the area, though. “Hello?”
“I’m right in front of you,” the voice said, taking on an edge of impatience.
“Where?” I asked.
“I’m the sword in the stone,” it said. “Please, for the love of all that is good, pull me out of this thing. And if you have some vinegar I could soak in, that would be lovely. I’m so rusted it’s disgusting.”
“I’m talking to a sword,” I said in disbelief. “How am I talking to a sword?”
The sword gave a little wiggle. “All your questions will be answered if you just please, please pull me out of this stupid rock!”
Well, it’s not like my life could get any weirder.I carefully clambered my way up the face of the rock, nearly losing my footing when the moss gave way under my fingers. As I neared the top, I grabbed the sword by its hilt and pulled. It… barely budged. Which was a little embarrassing.
“Come on, put your back into it!” the sword yelled.
I rubbed my hands on my skirt, steadied my footing, and gripped the sword once more. With some very ladylike grunts, I pulled the sword with all my might. The sword sprang free of the stone, and I immediately lost my balance. All the air escaped my lungs as I landed hard on my back. Groaning, I rolled over and dusted myself off. Then I looked up to see the sword scream in joy and float happily around the stone. “You can float?” I asked.
“Float, talk, sing a jaunty tune, I’m full of surprises,” it giggled. “Name’s Alexis, by the way. Thank you so much for getting me out of that situation.”
“OK… ” My mind spun with questions as I took in the floating sword giggling happily above me. “Are you like some princess who got trapped in a sword or something?” I read a story once about a princess in a far-off land who got cursed and turned into a hamster after rejecting a suitor. Perhaps this was something like that. Or the food Dante gave me was full of shrooms. That was also a possibility.
The sword floated closer down to my eye level. “No, but I haven’t had anyone to talk to for a few days so sit back and listen to my woes.”
“Yeah, alright,” I said, crossing my legs.When else was I going to have the opportunity to listen to the tale of the talking sword?
An orange glow illuminated behind the bits of brown rust covering her blade. Alexis huffed angrily and paced back and forth.
Is it pacing if she’s just floating?
“So there I was,” she began. “Just your average cursed sword who only recently gained the ability to move on her own, ready to take on the big wide world. Maybe make some new friends, go on fun adventures, touch a merman’s butt. And what do I find in that big wide world?” she asks.
“Hopefully merman booty?”
“No! Well yes, but the correct answer for this story istreachery, that’s what!” she shouted.
I gasped.
“Gasp is right!” she bellowed. “So after some time of living my best life doing what I want to do, I think to myself, ‘Alexis, why don’t we take this to the next level? What if we got a human body so we could actually feel?’”
“So I decide to team up with a merry band of adventurers to retrieve a genie’s lamp to grant us some goddamn wishes. After some squabbling and maybe a little bit of stabbing, we came to an agreement. They get the first two wishes to ask for gold and fame, and the last wish was to be used to give me a body. Look at me, blue coat lady,” she hissed.
