When it got too much, I laid down and looked up at the sky—eventually, darkness lured me in.
I wokeup with heavy rain pouring down on me and my phone buzzing inexhaustibly. My clothes were soaked from head to toe. Shutting my phone off, I covered my head with my hands and ran out of the graveyard.
Afternoon travelled well into the evening, the sky a hue of pink, orange, and purple. Despite the heavy rain, not a single dark cloud covered the sunset.
It was unreal—magical.
I stopped running.
Rain clung to my soul and evaporated its smell into my nose where I held onto its nostalgia.
My arms fell to the sides, and I let the rain drown me. It felt good. More than good. Like all of me was washing away with the world and I’d be okay when this was over.
I’d spent a long-time wallowing within myself, it was time to wallow on the outside. The world was going through the same cycle as me and it would be foolish of me not to follow along.
I’d turned the street near Brooklyn Bridge. For a regular Tuesday, it wasn’t packed. I stopped walking and turned my head up to the sky, rain pouring hard onto my face. It didn’t matter. Right now, nothing did but this feeling of being completely free from my thoughts.
Something barricaded the rain from reaching me.
Opening my eyes, an orange rustic umbrella hung over me.
“Where thefuckhave you been?”
Straightening myself, eyes repulsed to the back of my head before I turned around to face him. A devastating sight. His shirt was soaked through, and wet hair fell over his forehead.
A paper crumpled in his hand.
The sour expression did nothing to hide his attractiveness—high cheekbones, pouty lips—Christian mad was asight indeed, but Christian furious was a recipe resulting in more broken hearts.
I had to remind myself that this was the same man who insulted my aunt, the one who insulted me and my struggles.
Who didn’t run after me when I left and who lied to me by saying he wanted to love me even though his actions near the end did nothing but refute his stupid claims. This was no time to back down.
Attractive as he might be, I’d had enough of his indecency and annoying traits. There was a lot I could sacrifice for love, but losing my self-respect wasn’t one I was willing to repeat.
“Watch your tone when you speak to me, Christian.” I didn’t have the time to be surprised at my strong voice. Instead, keeping my eyes on him, I kept myself stern.
“Answer the fucking question and then maybe I’ll think about it,” his nostrils flared. He looked down at my wetted lips before shifting back up.
We were back to square one.
Fighting and bantering.
Pushing and pulling.
Getting nowhere.
Realistically we didn’t fit in any category. We weren’t friends, we weren’t lovers, we were two people stuck in the space between—in the constant struggle of description but couldn’t figure it out.
There was no rhythm to this relationship. I wanted him and he wanted to want me. We were not the same.
And I wasn’t going to let myself fall under his false pretences again.
“You let me go,” an outline of a ring hung to a chain through his shirt stopped me.This whole time…He had it.
A vicious wave coursed through me. “What the hell is that?”
Christian’s expression resembled that of a frog. He stared and stared, afraid that if he’d look down, he’d see exactly what I saw.
