I want to tell her that it fuckingterrifiesme.
And I want to tell her that it feels like I’m on the edge of something huge—of something that could shatter everything in my life if I’m not careful.
“I have to go,” I say a minute later as I pull away. My voice is rougher than I intended. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
She nods, and her hand lingers on my arm. “Okay.”
Giving her a shaky smile, I head for the door. It’s good that I’m leaving. I need to put my focus on Victoria and Bradleigh Evans, or I’ll lose myself in the chaos of everything I’m feeling.
However, as soon as I step out into the warm late afternoon air, I feel the weight of everything crashing down on me.
Sophie.
Julian.
Everything I’m too afraid to admit.
And I can’t help but feel like I’m already in too deep to walk away now.
Even if I wanted to.
CHAPTER THIRTY
THE OVERTHINKER
Malakai
I get to my office thirty minutes before the meeting is supposed to start, and despite planning on using that thirty minutes for prepping my argument, there’s a heavy knock on the door.
“Come in,” I say, taking a seat behind my desk.
Julian’s face comes into view as he slowly pushes the door open, closing it quietly behind him. “I’m here to see the headmaster?” he asks, his eyes sparking with mischief.
And damn it to hell, because I can’t help but laugh, even as my gut twists.
“What do you want, Julian?” I ask. My tone is teasing, but there’s a slight bite to it.
I’m not in the mood for his games today, especially since I can’t help but feel like a brooding asshole right now.
He locks the door and steps inside my office fully, hands in his pockets as his eyes roam the room. His eyes linger on the rosary sitting on a shelf, and I stiffen as he reaches out, brushing a finger against the beads.
“Please tell me you have plans to use those rosary nipple clamps with Sophie again,” he says, his voice light.Casual.Wiggling his eyebrows at me, I almost want to laugh at how ridiculous he can be.
But I don’t. Instead, I lean back in my chair and cross my arms. “Only if you’re nice.”
That earns me a grin, sharp and wolfish. I feel that tug ofsomethingall the way down to my cock. Crossing the room, he comes to stand in front of my desk, placing both hands on the wood and leaning forward. The air shifts completely. My office is supposed to be a safe space, but with Julian standing before me, towering and commanding, it suddenly feels much smaller.
This space is where I’m the one in charge. The one in control. The replica office at Infernosees all the action, sure, but I based it on this space. Now that Julian is here, perched on my desk like he owns the room, I can already feel the cracks forming in the facade.
“Kai,” he says, his voice too steady, as always. As if he’s completely unflappable. “What’s going on?”
My eyes don’t leave his. How the hell can he tell something’s bothering me? Then again, I shouldn’t be surprised. He used to call me out on my moody shit all the time when we were teenagers.
“It’s nothing. I’m tired, and I have a meeting soon?—”
“For Christ’s sake.” He sighs, rounding the desk before I can stop him. He perches on the end, close enough that I could reach out and run my hand up his thigh. “You’ve always been a terrible liar, do you know that?”
I swallow. The words are in my throat, ready to spill out. His presence is suffocating—all-consuming—in the best and worst ways. Sophie’s words from earlier play through my mind in a loop.Julian’s phases. His hyperfixations.And me, the one thing he hasn’t fully committed to, but also won’t let go of.
