She reaches out, and when her hand touches me, it feels like an electric shock. For a second, the tension eases. But the moment she lets go, it creeps back in, like an echo I can’t quite silence. Her fingers trail down my forearm, brushing away sawdust I hadn’t noticed. I want to believe that means something. But maybe I’m reading into it too much.
“Okay. I’m going to get some water. I think that’s enough for today. We can finish this tomorrow,” she says, gesturing to the corner I’m sanding.
I nod, grateful for the excuse to step away from the tension in the air. She’s always so patient with me—I suppose she’s used to it with Julian—but I can’t seem to stop spiraling since we were all together this past weekend.
As she walks into the back room to grab water, I glance down at my phone. The screen lights up with a reminder of my meeting.
Shit. I’ve got to go.
Swiping the notification away, my thumb lingers over the time. The meeting with Victoria Evans is in an hour. I want to stay—I want to tell Sophie everything that’s been on my mind for days.
But I also know the fresh air on the walk to Saint Helena will clear my head.
Plus, I have to do this. I have to show up for Bradleigh. Ihaveto fight for her.
I stand up and wipe the dust off my faded jeans. I’m filthy—I should probably go home and shower first, but I don’t really have time. I shake most of the sawdust off of me, and I walk to the small bathroom off to the side to wash my hands and splash water over my face. Looking up into the mirror, I’m reminded of the first time Julian and I kissed.
I was so worried about what I could possibly offer him. And now?
I’m worried I’m not enough.
Fuck, I sound like a teenager again,I think, running a clean hand down my face.Maybe I’m more fucked up over all of this than I realized.
When I walk back out, Sophie holds a water bottle out to me. Her eyes tighten with concern as she catches sight of my jacket.
“You’re leaving?”
I nod, giving her a soft smile. “Yeah. I forgot that I’ve got a late meeting with a parent.”
Sophie frowns. “Is everything okay?”
“Probably,” I tell her, unsure if I should explain the situation.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asks, tucking a piece of hair behind her ears. Her expression is so genuine, so earnest…it makes my chest ache.
God…she’s fucking perfect.
I sigh. “One of the board members is pushing for one of my trans students to move schools. I won’t stand for it. Her place is at Saint Helena.”
Sophie reaches out and takes my hands, pressing her lips together in contemplation. “I’m sorry. That must be really hard. Can’t you overrule the board member as headmaster?”
I shrug. “It depends on if I can convince the rest of the board.”
She’s looking up at me with concern, and I can’t have that. Leaning down, I kiss her gently on the forehead.
“It’s okay. It’s just part of the job.”
But it’s more than that. I can feel it now, the tension in my chest, the gnawing feeling of everything slipping through my fingers, everything I’ve built up over the years, everything I thought I understood about myself.
Sophie’s gaze on me intensifies, and then she does something that catches me off guard. She steps forward and wraps her arms around me in a tight hug. Her warmth wraps around me, and I close my eyes, letting out a contented sigh.
“You’re doing good. You know that, right?”
I can’t help it. I bury my face in her shoulder, letting her words soothe something inside of me that’s been raw for far too long. My throat feels tight, the words lodged there. I don’t feel like I’m doing good. Not right now. Not with the storm inside me that I can’t even begin to understand.
I want to tell her everything. I want to tell her that I’m falling for her—and that I’m also falling for Julian.
I want to tell her that I never expected to love two people this deeply.
