Their words hang in the air long after she goes upstairs, and I suddenly feel nervous again. What happened earlier was such a far departure from what I’m used to. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been in charge in bed. As for the last few years, I’ve been a Dom. To submit to Julian tonight the way I did… to let him guide me during a scene with Sophie, and then to give him a hand job…
It’s a night of firsts for me, and I don’t quite know how to act around him.
The Dom in me wants to fight back, but whatever happened tonight was nice—it wasdifferent.
After that night at the gym, I’d done some research on switches. I always assumed I was fully Dominant, but then I learned that certain people could bring out different dynamics in us. I’d never wanted to submit to anyone before Julian, and I wasn’t sure what that meant.
I wasn’t sure if Iwantedto know what it meant.
Because, to be honest, discovering I’m bisexual has already been a life-altering event. I don’t need to add anything else to my plate right now.
Julian catches me watching the empty staircase. “Relax, Kai. You look like you’re plotting your escape.”
I huff a soft laugh, rubbing the back of my neck. “I’m not. I promise.”
Julian sets his tea down, stretching an arm along the back of the couch again. His knee brushes against mine as he shifts. I notice he doesn’t pull away.
“How are you feeling about tonight?”
I glance over at him. As always, he looks calm and collected, the very picture of someone who’s completely at ease with how the night unfolded.
I’m not sure I’m there yet.
“Good,” I say absentmindedly. “I mean, it was… different for me. But good.” I hesitate, searching for the right words. “I guess I’m not used to all of it yet. I’m not used to the way you and Sophie are so comfortable sharing her… and letting someone else in like this. I keep wondering if I’m overstepping, but it’s like the two of you don’t even flinch. It’s natural for you.”
Julian’s gaze softens as he nods, but there’s a hint of something else, something unspoken. “The physical part might seem easy, but it wasn’t always like that.” He shifts his gaze to the coffee table, as if sorting through a memory. “We had to figure it out—there were rough patches. Jealousy. Communication issues. But this?” He gestures between us. “This is new. For both of us.”
That catches me off guard. I thought I was the only one feeling untethered by all of this.
“There’s no right or wrong way to do this, Kai,” Julian adds, his voice quieter now. “We’re figuring it out too.”
I can tell he means it, and I appreciate the reassurance. “Yeah, I get that,” I answer, leaning back against the fluffy couch. “It’s just a lot to wrap my head around. But I’m okay with it. I like being with both of you.”
“Good. We like being with you, too.” Julian smiles then, and it’s one of those disarming ones that makes me feel like it’s just for me.
Maybe it is.
That thought sends something warm through me, something that makes my chest ache a bit.
I push the feeling to the side. This is supposed to befun.That’s what we agreed on, isn’t it? Fun, no pressure, no expectations…
What feels right.
His words hover in my mind.
That’s the thing, though. Being with Julian and Sophie feels more right than anything I’ve ever done, and that’s what terrifies me about all of this.
Julian shifts closer, and his knee brushes against mine again. I have to ignore the way it sends a maelstrom through me.
“But…?” he asks.
I blink. “But what?”
“Don’t play coy, Kai,” he says, his smile turning mischievous. “You’re mulling something over, and I can tell because you do this little furrowed brow thing when you’re overanalyzing. It’s cute, but also, it means you’re overthinking again.”
I laugh and shake my head. “It’s nothing bad. I promise.”
He studies me for a few beats, and I can feel the weight of his attention on me. “Are you sure?”
