The tension leaves my body knowing she’ll be okay. Knowing that without me, who knows what he would’ve done to her?I can’t help but think you just saved my life.I couldn’t save them all, but I could damn well save the ones right before my eyes.
I look over at Benedict, and he’s watching me, a look of awe on his face. Smiling, he reaches for my hand, and kisses it as we stroll away. We find another place to eat a few blocks away, and the whole walk over, he glances at me every few seconds, chuckling to himself, pulling me closer, kissing my head.
“A queen,” he mutters, over and over.
A Walking Contradiction
Evelyn Snow
Oxford,Present
After Benedict drops me at my flat—at his insistence—I ask Zoey if she wants to stay inside tonight and catch up on our favorite trashy television shows, and she agrees. We’ve both had our fair share of drama these last couple of weeks—her being stood up by Damien multiple times, and me with… everything. As we get settled on the couch and plop the giant bowl of popcorn down between us, she lowers the volume and turns to me, her glass of wine nearly filled to the brim, identical to mine.
“How was your date with Benedict?” she asks, taking a large sip.
I shrug, images of him kneeling in front of me flashing before my eyes. “It was fun.” I’m not sure how much I can tell her, and a part of me is sad about the things I’ve been hiding from her. “We walked around and had lunch.”
“I’m glad. You deserve to be happy, Evelyn.”
She turns the volume up, and I curl up next to her as we watch the new episode of The Bachelor, eating the entire bowl of popcorn and drinking the entire bottle of pinot way too quickly. An hour or so later, slightly tipsy, she stands and declares that she’s going to run to the market on the corner for some ice cream.
“My jacket is on the rack if you want to borrow it,” I yell as she comes padding out of her bedroom wearing sneakers.
“Thanks, love,” she says, throwing it on. “What flavor would you like? Mint?” She grabs her phone and tries to stuff it into my pocket unsuccessfully. “Jesus, Evelyn. What the hell do you have in here?”
I stare in horror as she pulls the black mask out, holding it up with wide eyes.
“That—I—it’s not what you think,” I add, wincing. “I mean, it is, but…”
“You lied to me earlier?” she asks, her voice strained.
“I didn’t want to get into it,” I explain.
“Oh, well, I guess that’s okay then,” she grinds out, her voice gritty. “So, you lied because it was convenient?”
I shrug, standing up. “I don’t know,” I say, pleading. “We agreed not to go to another meeting, and then I did…” I trail off, shrugging again. “I only went to see what Benedict was up to.”
“And?” she asks, watching me.
I swallow. “It was weirder than the first meeting.”
She sighs, shaking her head. “I’m listening.”
How am I supposed to tell her about the ceremonies? Or how Benedict did the blood oath with me? I have a freaking bandage on my hand… it would be hard to hide that. How do I bring up the fact that he’s trying to dismantle the Brotherhood from within? She deserves to know, but I don’t know where to start. Would she believe me?
“It’s a long story,” I say, grimacing as she flares her nostrils delicately.
“Well, I’m glad we’re honest with each other,” she snaps. She throws my jacket off and hangs it up on the coat rack, immediately stalking to her room.
I pace the living area, waiting for her to return. Guilt hits me harder now, after my years in Paris. I know it’s because I was looked down upon, always ready to please, always willing to obey. It’s another trauma response, and I feel horrible. I shouldn’t have lied. I should just tell her everything. What’s the worst that could happen? Why am I so hesitant to tell her? I gear up to explain everything, sitting on the couch and taking a few steadying breaths. She’s one of my best friends. I would not be where I am without her, and I know she deserves better than some half-assed explanation.
She walks out of her room a few minutes later, carrying her coat.
And an overnight bag.
“I’m going to stay with my god mum,” she says, much calmer now.
Sad.
