“I don’t know.” I threw up my hands. “All I know is that you—” I stopped myself, clamping my mouth shut. I had a sinking feeling I was seconds away from embarrassing myself.
“What do you know?” he asked. “And don’t you dare say, ‘nothing.’”
I faced him. “Nothing.”
He let out a dark, shadowy laugh that elicited two unique reactions in me—for very different reasons. “It’s a good thing I find your anger arousing.”
“You sure about that? Because it sure didn’t seem that way a few minutes ago.”
“A few minutes ago, you felt exactly how aroused I was,” he retorted. “And in case you’re wondering, if you had your hand on my dick right now, you’d find the same thing.”
The heady flush his words conjured caused me to do the very last thing I wanted to. I opened my idiotic mouth. “No, thank you. I really don’t want to be rejected twice in a row.”
Casteel straightened to his full height, and in the silent seconds that passed, I wanted nothing more than to crawl under the table and hide.
And repeatedly punch myself.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I pressed my fingers against my forehead instead. “I can’t believe I just said that. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I know I’m being ridiculous. I mean, you just told me I was the reason you cared about life again.” I rubbed my forehead. “So, can we pretend I never said that? Okay? Thanks.”
“I didn’t agree to that.”
Swallowing a carriage full of curses, I dropped my hand. “What if I said please?”
“This is the one time that word has no effect on me.”
“Great,” I muttered, resisting the urge to pull my hair.
“Is that what you think?” His brow furrowed. “That learning who you once were has affected how I see you? How you make me feel?”
I wanted to scream yes but lifted a shoulder in a shrug instead. “I don’t know.” I folded an arm across my waist. “Hasn’t it, though?”
“I think…” He exhaled heavily and shoved a hand through his hair. “I think I fucked up.”
“No,” I was quick to deny. “This isn’t on you. It’s me, so you—” I gasped, jerking back as Casteel appeared directly in front of me. “Gods, you move even quicker now.”
“I do.” He stood there, his arms at his sides, towering over me.
Swallowing, I took a step back, bumping into the table. “I don’t think that was necessary.”
Eather seeped into his irises as he stared down at me. “It was.”
“Nah.” I reached down and gripped the table’s smooth edge. “You could’ve just walked over here like a normal—”
“Nothing,” he cut in, clasping my cheeks. His voice dropped and thinned until it became a shadow against my lips. “Absolutely fucking nothing will ever change what I see when I look at you or feel when I think of you.”
Words failed me as I stared up at him.
“And I never see you as just Poppy,” he continued. “Not when all I can see is my everything. My world.”
A shudder ran through me.
Casteel dropped his forehead to mine. “There are no moments when I don’t need you with every fucking fiber of my being.” His hands slid back to delve into my hair. “And you know that, Poppy.”
“I do,” I whispered, my eyes closing. And Idid. “I don’t know why I reacted like that.”
“You just found out you’ve lived dozens of lives,” he said quietly. “That probably has something to do with it.”
A shaky laugh parted my lips. “Probably.”
