Oh, my God. Rylen was leaving the compound? He was going out there? I bit my tongue against the urge to beg him to stay. I couldn’t be the clingy, paranoid, non-girlfriend, sisterly person.
“All right,” she told him. “I’ll let Dog Balls know.” Now she turned to Rylen, leaned closer, and began to murmur. He listened and nodded. The other guys stood and stretched. Remy rested her hand on my knee under the table. Linette must have felt me staring—I couldn’t help myself—and she turned to me.
“Can I help you with something?”
I let out a laugh. “You’re two feet away, at our breakfast table, whispering. Rude much?” Rylen swung his head toward me, as if surprised by my tone. He moved a fraction away from her.
Linette glared and I stood, grabbing my tray. Remy got up with me.
“Amber,” Rylen said.
“I’ll see you later,” I told him.
I was seething as I dropped my tray in the kitchen.
“Why do you let her get to you?” Remy whispered to me.
“Hey,” Texas Harry said from behind us. I turned to him and he nodded toward where Rylen and Linette were still sitting close, talking. “They’re just talking work shit, but you ought to stake your claim before it’s too late.” His eyebrows rose and fell meaningfully, and my jaw clenched. He walked away, leaving me with Remy, who propped a hand on her hip and smugly said nothing. I gave my head a hard shake.
“Seriously, Amber?” she hissed. “The world’s been taken over by freaking aliens and you’re still scared to tell him you love him?” Her words were filled with a frustration bordering on anger.
I deflated as the ridiculousness of my fear registered. For a second, as it was all put into perspective, my personal fears were miniscule. In the scheme of things, I had no time to waste and nothing to lose. Except Ry . . .
“Fine,” I whispered. But even that word sent a shock of trepidation through me.
She gave me a hard peck on the cheek and muttered, “You’re such a brat,” before walking away.Not a brat, I thought to myself.A coward.
I was not happy about the resource run. If Linette and Rylen were so integral to whatever behind-the-scenes things were going on, it seemed to me they should have sent other soldiers. It was clear that what Linette wanted, she got, and she was a thrill seeker. My jealousy of her knew no bounds.
I caught Rylen that night as he was bringing his clothes up from the laundry room. I was on my way down with mine. I may or may not have known he was doing his at that exact moment.
“Hey,” I said. We stood on the landing between flights of the stairwell, both of us holding our laundry in our arms, flashlights blazing. We didn’t have much. Just a couple basic outfits that we wore over and over.
“Hey, Pep. You okay?”
I hesitated. “I wish you weren’t going on that run in the morning.”
He paused to process this. “Don’t worry about me.”
My feet shifted. “Aren’t you nervous?”
“Nah. I’m actually looking forward to getting out of here for a day. Feeling kind of cooped up, you know?”
“Yeah,” I whispered. My heart picked up speed. I’d been planning all day what to say. I was going to ask him if we could hang out when he got back, just the two of us. But what came out instead was, “Be careful of Linette, okay?”
He gave a shrug. “She’s harmless. Just a little wild, but she knows what she’s doing out there. She’s led all the runs.”
“No, I don’t mean about the run.” I hiked up my drooping pile. “I don’t think she, uh, respects the fact that you’re in mourning . . .”
His eyes narrowed on mine until I got nervous and dropped my gaze.
“I don’t get that feeling from her,” he said. “She’s friendly to everyone, not just me. And most of the time she’s obsessing about work. Look, I know you don’t like her, and I know she’s rough, but she’s good people.”
He had no idea she had eyes for him. And for once I was glad of his cluelessness. But how would he react if, or when, she made an official move? He hadn’t been with a woman in, well, months at least.
As if reading my mind, he said, “I’m not looking for that anyway.” But he sounded . . . frustrated.
My jaw tightened. I wished he would have said he wasn’t looking for thatfrom her. How was I supposed to tell him how I felt, knowing he wasn’t looking for thatat all? I wanted to respect this, but I knew damn well Linette wouldn’t.