He forced himself to finish. “I cannae imagine what will happen if ye stay. So this afternoon, ye will be leaving the castle.”
CHAPTER 30
Lily exhaled hard,her chest rising and falling as though her breathing might cool her fury. “Alasdair, look. I understand?—”
“Nay, ye daenae,” he cut in, his voice sharp. “This is a matter of life or death. Someone almost killed ye in yer room last night, for the love of God.”
“Aye,” she shot back. “And ye chased him away. I am fairly certain I stabbed him in the knee, so it should be easy to find him, too.”
Alasdair’s jaw tightened, his eyes narrowing with a strange mix of pride and frustration.
“That ye did. I ken ye’re never afraid to fight when it counts. The scar on me thigh is proof enough of that.”
Lily drew another long breath, her hands curling into fists. “Then trust me now. Let me fight.”
He looked down, his shoulders heavy, but she pressed on.
“I thought I would only spend a month here. I thought this was something I would do and then leave. But then I got to ken—” The words stuck in her throat. She couldn’t bring herself to say ‘I got to kenye again’. “I got to ken the people in the castle, especially the wounded men. I saw their faces when they healed and left for their homes. And I realized ye were right the entire time. Last night solidified it for me, Alasdair.”
Her voice broke as heat rushed up her cheeks. She gave it a quarter of a minute before she continued.
“I ken now. Me place is here, by yer side, as Lady MacRay.”
His head snapped up, and she saw his teeth grind together. She could have sworn she saw tears in his eyes, but they did not fall.
“Do ye ken how desperately I’ve wanted ye to say that?” he rasped.
Her chest ached, and she stepped closer, closing the space between them. “Ten years ago, ye didnae me the choice. Ye made it for me. Ye thought I wouldnae want to go into war with ye, so ye left me behind. I am asking ye now… give me the choice. Let me stay by yer side.”
She reached for his face and cupped his cheek in her palm. “Let us fight together.”
Alasdair took her hand, his lips brushing against her knuckles. “I daenae doubt yer spirit, Lily. But we are dealing with a traitor. Someone in this castle wants me gone. Me and ye both. And until I uncover who that is, I cannae take risks.”
She pulled her hand away, her stomach twisting. “So that’s it? Ye’ll truly send me away?”
He exhaled. “I would rather ye resent me forever while alive than bury ye because ye care for me.”
Her eyes burned. “So ye’re doing it again.”
“Lily—”
“Ye’re making the choice for me again,” she snapped. “Ye want to do this all over again. Ye bring me here, show me this world, and then decide to take it away because ye want to control how it ends?”
“Lily—”
“The funny thing about this is that somehow, ye think I’ll thank ye because ye’re ‘protecting’ me? Well, ye’re nae. I should never have come here. I see that now.”
He tried again. “Please?—”
“We were a mistake,” she hissed. “We should never have happened in the first place.”
She paused, the words burning in her throat. She could feel the tears stinging the back of her eyes, but she wouldn’t let them fall.
No. She wouldn’t let him see her vulnerable.
“And here I thought ye had grown. Ye’re still the same Alasdair. And right now, I daenae ken if I’ve ever hated anyone as much as I hate ye.”
He swallowed, his face pale. “I’ll make sure ye have enough provisions when ye return to yer village?—”
