Ciel handed me a plate loaded with two pancakes, four strips of bacon, and a pile of fresh fruit. Then he ushered me to the table and plopped me down. Wynn set a full glass of water in front of me.
I stared at the plate. “No, this is weird. What’s going on?”
“We’re eating together,” Obi said as he sat down next to me with a full plate of his own, as if that perfectly explained what was happening. The rest of the guys sat down and dug in.
My stomach growled. I picked up my fork, unable to resist. The guys carried on with easy conversation, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling that something was up. No one looked me in the eye.
After a few minutes, Obi cleared his throat and turned to me. “Tell us what happened last night.”
I froze, fork midway to my mouth. “Nothing happened.”
“Bullshit,” Ryu said. He jumped when Cas kicked him under the table and followed the attack with an annoyed glare.
I put my fork down with a sigh. They wanted to talk about the panic attack, but that was the last thing on my list of things I cared to think about right now. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Last night was a lapse. I did not care to revisit it. It wasn’t just that I didn’t want to talk about Max, which was a fucking landmine of a discussion topic. There was simply no need to revisit the memories that triggered the panic attack. They were better left in the past.
“I know you don’t,” Cas said softly, “but you can’t keep running from it.”
I bristled. “I’m not running.”
“You are, baby girl,” Ciel added. “You need to get whatever is bothering you off your chest.”
“Nope,” I said with a shake of my head. I stared at my plate. “Can we just please forget about it? It wasn’t that big of a deal.”
“No.” Ryu sat back in his chair. His voice turned tender. “We can’t keep ignoring it. It’s driving you crazy. It’s driving all of us crazy.”
I stood, shoving the chair back. “I’m not crazy.”
“That’s not what I meant.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. It was loose this morning; no bun. “We just want to help. You bullied me into talking about my shit. Now it’s your turn.”
My throat clogged, and I grabbed my plate before turning around to take it to the sink. This was an ambush. A carefully crafted trap. “Nice breakfast. Thanks for the food.”
Ciel caught me around the waist while I tried to stomp out of the room. “Wait.”
“No.” I tried to pull out of his grip, but he was strong. “I can’tbelieve this. You all decided to gang up on me? I don’t have to talk about it. I don’twantto. You can’t make me.”
Obi stood from the table. “What happened on the ship? And what caused your reaction last night?”
Cages. Cold. Bodies.
Hands on my skin.
My eyes squeezed shut and shuddered. “I already said I don’t want to talk about it.”
Cas wrapped his arms around me. “Not an option anymore, princess.”
I looked around at each of them, looking for any kind of ally to not make me do this. To help me. “Wynn?”
He understood. He’d also been dealing with panic attacks. He wouldn’t make me revisit that, right?
“Darling, I just don’t want you to hurt anymore,” he said carefully. “We can fix this if you let us in.”
“Fixwhat?” I demanded. “I’m not broken!”
“Of course, you’re not.”
They all took a step closer. Iknewthey were trying to be supportive, trying to comfort me. My men would never want to do anything different, but they were caging me in like an animal, suffocating me.
