“I’m the worst at giving out advice I can’t follow myself, because I built my whole life around what others think of me, but fuck it. Fuck what other people think. You’re allowed to have feelings.” My voice went soft. I swallowed down the rock that had crawled into my windpipe. “Let me be really clear that no one else in this apartment is judging you, but seriously. Fuck what other people think.”
“Fuck what other people think,” she repeated, eyes wide.
“You can be strong and loved just by being yourself,” I told her, hoping I’d take these words to heart myself. Maybe one day, she’d love me just as I was, with all my flaws and fuck ups.
The same way I was starting to love her.
She let out a huge sigh. Her lower lip trembled, but she wiped away a tear. “I…thank you.”
“Let the feelings come out, and then you can move on. And know that, as you do, I’m right here with you.”
“I see you, and I like you,” she said, cupping my cheek.
I smiled, leaning into her touch. “Yo te veo.”
She took a deep breath, and I wiped her cheeks. “Thanks, Ciel. I’m really glad you’re here.”
I nodded. This was still new territory for me—this idea of speaking all the fears that shadowed my heart. What did she need? What else could I say? Was there anything else I could do?
“Can I give you a hug?”
“Of course.” She exhaled as she slammed into me, arms going around my neck. I didn’t hesitate. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into my lap.
I breathed in her scent, letting myself feel the relief, joy, and intoxication of having her body pressed against mine. I might not be as eloquent as Wynn could be, or as strong and steady as Cas seemed to be for her, but damn, I was so relieved she let me talk to her. We were both on this journey together, and just like she made me feel wanted that night in my room, I wanted to make her feel seen and accepted.
“Thanks for finding him, Ciel,” she whispered into my neck. Her breath tickled the skin, sending a shiver through me. “I’m sorry it’s been so difficult.”
“You don’t have to apologize,” I murmured against her skin. “I’ll kill him for hurting you. We all will. I promise.”
Eventually, I’d have a chance to go after him the same way he’d been coming after us, and I was not prepared to lose thisfight. I might have had the upper hand last night against the hacker he had on his side, but this was just the beginning. I would be better. I’d rip him to pieces—down to his bones—before I’d let him hurt her again.
She pulled back and nuzzled her nose against mine. “But what if I want to kill him?”
I grinned. “Nobody said only one person needed all the credit. We can take turns.”
She laughed, eyes crinkling at their edges, and in that moment, I needed her more than anything else in the world. I tightened my arms around her and leaned forward to press my lips against hers.
She melted into my touch, letting the slow and heavy kiss overwhelm us both. I was in awe of how she could take complete control of my brain and my body, silencing all the noise that choked me every other breath.
A knock at the door behind us had her pulling away. We stared at each other for a few seconds, flushed and out of breath, before her eyes flicked behind us. “Wynn?”
His hand rested on the doorknob as he took us in, her sitting on my lap and the pink color of her skin. Our eyes locked. Did he want time with her alone? I couldn’t tell what emotion passed over his face before he went to close the door.
“Wynn,” she blurted. I let go of her hips so she could climb off my lap to go to him, but she didn’t move. Instead, her fingers dug into my arm.
Wynn paused in the doorway, but he stayed facing the other direction, not in awkwardness, but in privacy. “Yes?”
“You can go,” I whispered to her. She’d want him right now. I’d had my beautiful share of her in my room, but she wanted him.
She swallowed and looked down at me, a question written on her face.
Was she…was she really asking what I thought she was asking?
When I said nothing, she looked back at Wynn. “Come in. Please.”
His head jerked back in our direction, glancing at me before he looked back to her. “Do you remember what you said to me before?”
She nodded. “I said sharing doesn’t mean you have to take turns.”
