“Look, Paige, I know I’ve said it already, but I am so, so,sosorry that—”
“Iz.” I cut her off, and we both grin a little at the use of her old nickname. “I’m not mad. I promise you, I’m not mad. Things got...bad when we were kids, and we were always just doing our best. You were always doing your best. To be honest, I’m just so fucking happy you never hated me.”
She shakes her head, and her eyes start getting glassy.
“Never,” she murmurs. “I never hated you, Paige. I’m just so sorry for everything I ruined. You and Youssef could have—”
“I’m really done with the ‘could haves.’” I interrupt her again and load my voice with every ounce of the conviction I feel. “I’m done with the ‘what-ifs.’ What happened happened, and there’s no point thinking about who or where I might be if they didn’t. I...I like where I am now.”
I mean it. I’ll take all the pain that comes with this story because it’smine. It’s how I became me and accomplished everything that’s mattered to me so far.
It’s what’s going to lead me to everything that matters to me now.
“That’s good.” Isabella is really crying now. “I’m so happy you can say that.”
I lean forward and hesitate for a second before reaching out to squeeze her arm. “Can you say that too, Iz? I want to know you’re happy.”
“You know what?” She swipes at her eyes. “I like where I am too. I like Toronto. I like my job. Mom is a much better manager now, if you can believe that. I’m doing work that matters to me, and now that I have you, I...I mean, I’m sorry. I know I don’thaveyou. I know we’ve only just—”
“Iz.” I squeeze her again. “You’ve got me. You always will.”
She lets out a sob and throws her arms around me. I pull her close, and we sit like that for a while.
When I finally leave the car, coffee in hand, she rolls down the window, and we promise to give each other a call when I’m back in Montreal. Ingrid and DeeDee are already waiting in the station. They give me curious looks as we head for the platform, but for now, I just grin.
“So.” Ingrid finally cracks once we’re in our seats waiting for the train to start moving. “Are we gonna talk about it?”
I turn from staring out the window and give her a small smile.
“You were right. I needed that.”
“Are you guys all good?” DeeDee asks. “We started to think we’d have to come in and do a convention.”
Ingrid and I squint at her. “A convention?”
“You know? A convention?” She looks between the two of us. “Like when someone is addicted to drugs, and they trick them into coming home, and the whole family is there, and they make them sit down on a chair and go, ‘This is a convention!’”
Ingrid and I start killing ourselves laughing.
“Intervention,” Ingrid wheezes after a minute. “I think you meanintervention.”
We start laughing all over again, but DeeDee just shrugs and pretends to inspect her nails.” Whatever, English people.”
“But seriously, Paige,” Ingrid urges after we’ve recovered. “You okay?”
I nod. “Honestly, I don’t know if my family is ever going to be, like, picture perfect or anything close to it, but today is the first time I’ve ever felt like we could be okay. I feel...This is so fucking stupid, but I feel free.”
“Ben ouais!” DeeDee holds her hand up for a high five. “That’s what I’m talking about! Now we must make a plan for you to get Youssef back when he comes home.”
I shake my head as a huge smile splits my face. “I can’t wait. I’m getting on the next flight to LA.”
