Youssef
FIDELITY: A measure of audio quality
“What’s up, You-man?”
I drop onto my hotel bed and hold my phone in front of my face as Nabil comes into view on the screen.
“You-man? That’s a new one.”
“You don’t seem impressed.”
I chuckle. “I’m not.”
“Whatever. I’m just trying things out. I figured you needed a cool LA name or something.”
“And you came up withYou-man?”
He flips me off. “Screw you. I’m being a nice friend, calling to check in on how you are and stuff, and you’re mocking my creative choices.”
“Maybe you should make better creative choices.”
He shakes his head and places a hand on his chest. “I’m gonna pretend you didn’t just say that. So, how are you? How’s LA?”
I crane my neck to glance at the palm trees out the window. I can hear the rumble of the ever-present traffic even with the glass shut.
“It’s pretty crazy. Everyone seems famous, or at least acts like they are. The city itself is amazing, but we haven’t gotten to see much of it. Mostly I’ve been in meetings or out having meals with industry people. We actually have this dinner tonight about the single. I’m supposed to sign stuff tomorrow.”
I can’t keep the dread out of my voice. I knew what I was going to do the second I walked into my first meeting at Nautilus Records.
This isn’t me.
It took actually getting here to be sure of it, but now I’m sure this isn’t my path. I don’t know how long it’s going to take to get over the mind fuck of being handed everything I’ve ever wanted on a silver platter and realizing I didn’t even want a bite, but that’s where I am now. I’m done questioning.
I just have to let everyone else know.
“And?” Nabil asks.
I shift on the bed. “And what?”
“Are you going to do it?”
“I—Hey, wait. Shouldn’t you be telling me I’m crazy, or asking me why I’m not already popping champagne?”
He shrugs. “I mean normally, yeah, but you’re my best friend. I know something’s up. You’re not gonna do it are you?”
I nod. “I don’t think so.”
“Hey, man, that’s okay. There will be other singles to work on, and other big labels too. You’re just getting started. It’s important to walk away from a deal if it doesn’t feel right, even if it looks stupid to everyone else.”
I take a deep breath. “Nabil, none of it feels right.”
He blinks. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t want this anymore: the parties, the headlining gigs, the touring. I just...Music is my life. It always will be, but not like this.”
He brings his camera closer to him. “So...what are you saying?”
“That I’m walking. I’m gonna take Jacob up on his offer to buy into the studio and turn it into something really special. I’ll still make my own music. I can’t imagine a life where I don’t, but I’m done being, like, all-caps Youssef.”
