“That’s my Hot Tamale.” Justine grins. “Let that situation be his problem. I think you should take the job. In fact, I will personally hack your email account and send in your acceptance if you don’t.”
“How would you hack my email account?” I demand.
“I mean, it would be pretty easy, considering I know your password.”
I scoff. “No you don’t.”
“Yes I do,” she argues. “I bet you haven’t changed it. I bet it’s stillAce Turner’s Abs Six Nine Six Nine.”
I cough.
“HA!” she crows.
I mean, he might be my roommate’s boyfriend and I might be over my massive crush, but the man still has the body of a god. We laugh together for a moment before we fade into silence. I’m the one who finally breaks it.
“I know I have to keep going,” I tell her, “and I’m ready to do it. Iwantto do it, but no matter what, being without him...It hurts. It hurts so fucking much already.”
“I know.” She nods a few times. “It’s probably going to hurt for awhile. I’m here for you though, okay?”
“Okay.”
My voice cracks, and so does my resolve. A single tear spills from the corner of my eye and down my cheek.
“You can cry, you know,” Justine says quietly. “You can cry about it and still be strong.”
So I do. I curl up on my bed with my records and photos and artwork around me, with my best friend beside me on a screen. I cry for the things I walked away from today, and for the fear that I may never have them again.
