“Prom-posal guy?”
I can’t help snorting at the nickname. “Yes, Prom-posal guy. I know this all sounds crazy, but it’s just how I...understand the world, you know? Like there’s a person I’m supposed to be in it, like I have this set role to play, and I have to stick with it.”
I’m sure I’ve lost him now. This is getting so esoterically conceptual, I’ve almost lost myself.
Hashtag deep.
“I get that.”
I twist on the mattress, pressing the phone closer to my ear to make sure I’ve heard him right. “You what?”
“I get that. I know what it’s like to have a role. I’m the funny one, you know? I’m the one everyone calls when they just want to forget about things and have fun. That’s the only time peopleseeme. If I try to be anything else, I disappear. They don’t want to hear it. It’s not what they’re looking for from me. You know how you feel like bad things happen every time you try leaving your ‘league?’ Well, I feel like bad things happen to me every time I try...trying—every time I try to be more.”
“Is that why you’ve never had a girlfriend?” I murmur.
“Quoi?”
“At—at the party,” I stammer, embarrassed I brought it up. “Stéphanie told me Ace toldheryou’ve never had a girlfriend since he’s known you.”
“I’ve had girlfriends!” he protests, and my stupid heart sinks a little. “But—Okay, not since high school, and nothing in high school was even serious. It’s just...that’s not what most girls want from me. I’m JP, you know? JP doesn’tdate.”
He says it bitterly, as if he’s talking about some other guy he doesn’t really like. I want to tell him he’s wrong about the ‘most girls’ thing. There must be girls lining up out the door to date him. How could therenotbe? He’s everything a perfect boyfriend should be.
It’s right on the tip of my tongue to tell him so when I hear my name being shouted from downstairs.
“Shit,” I hiss into the phone. “It’s my mom. She sounds pissed about something.”
“You have to go?”
“Yeah. I’m sorry. I...”
I think you’re the most wonderful person I’ve ever met, and I like all of you. Not just the funny parts.
“...I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”
When I get downstairs, Mom is sitting at the kitchen island with her laptop open in front of her. The atmosphere turns icy the second I step in the room. That’s one of the many things that’s changed about her since Dad; she used to burn and rage when she was angry. Now she just freezes you out.
“I just took a look at your student portal, Molly.”
Turds. All the turds.
“Sixty-seven percent on your last assignment. That’s unacceptable. Your GPA has already slipped.”
Part of her conditions for funding my tuition and housing expenses is that she gets full access to all my information at McGill at all times. I don’t think it’s an unfair deal; if she’s paying for it, she deserves to be sure I’m putting the work in.
I just hoped she wouldn’t notice my plummeting grades until I’d managed to get them back up again. All the time I’ve been spending working on Metro Records stuff has finally started to have a discernible effect on my degree.
“I’m sorry. I just...missed the mark on that one. I guess I misunderstood the assignment. I should have gone to the professor about it before I handed it in.”
Mom’s tone is clipped. “Yes, you should have. Don’t let this happen again, Molly.”
“I won’t. I’m sorry to disappoint you.”
She sighs, and her cool mask slips a little. “I don’t want you to just worry about disappointingme. I want you to worry about disappointingyourself. I want you to know how important this all is, Molly. I want you to be able to give it your best shot. I know how hard it is to focus on school while also worrying about paying for it. You know how many years it took me to finish my real estate program when you were kids. I don’t want you to go through that. I’m paying for your degree so it can be your number one priority, and I just want you to make the most of that opportunity.”
Part of me wants to come clean about the Metro Records job here and now. I’ve never lied to her before. I didn’t think Icouldlie to her, but I didn’t even blink while making up that story about my assignment. I’ve never had something that wasworthlying about. I know she’ll demand I quit the second she finds out, and quitting Metro isn’t an option.
When I walk through the Metro Records door, the role I’m supposed to play as the awkward, loner shy girl disappears. My script gets chucked out the window, and I can be whoever I want. I’m not ready to give that up.
