“It’s not my ass I’m worried about.” Grumbling, Ronan climbed into his tent and zipped himself inside.
As Jude and Fitz watched, Ronan’s tent started to rock side to side. It looked like he was in there wrestling with someone. “I need baby oil or something to get these fuckers on.”
Jude snorted and started to laugh. “Just be patient!” Jude knew Ronan would take his advice. He slapped a hand over his mouth to keep from laughing out loud.
“You’re not supposed to wear them naked, are you?” Fitz asked, wearing a shit eating grin.
“Nope!” Jude shimmied out of his shoes and pulled the waders on over his pants, next, he slipped his arms through the shoulder straps. Seconds later, he was clicking the buckle of the chest harness. “See, piece of cake.”
With a shake of his head, Fitzgibbon followed suit.
“Yeooooooow!” Ronan howled from the tent. An unintelligible string swearing followed, but Jude thought he heard “douche canoe sandwich” and something about a rancid “fuck knuckle.”
Fitz and Jude turned to each other. “They’re stuck to his package, aren’t they?”
Jude nodded, laughing so hard, he’d bent over double. After a few seconds, he managed to get a hold of himself. “You need some help in there, buddy?”
“Fucking things are stuck to my schlong! Can one of you give me a hand?” Ronan sounded pitiful.
Jude couldn’t help himself. He gave Ronan a round of applause and burst out laughing. “I’ll go grab our naked neighbors. I’m sure they can help you out!”
“Assholes!” Ronan called back. The tent started shaking again. Seconds later, there was a ripping sound like Ronan had torn a bandage off a cut. “My balls!” he howled, sounding as if he were in serious pain. Ronan wailed in obvious pain.
“Sounds like someone got an unintended nut wax.” Jude burst out laughing so hard, that his cheeks and stomach hurt.
Ronan, looking pale, emerged in his underwear, holding the waders over his arm.
“How’s your package?” Jude asked.
“Still attached, thank fuck,” Ronan said, managing a weak smile. “If I can’t get it up, I’m coming for you assholes.”
“Doesn’t sound like you’ll becomingat all!” Jude said, barely holding back a case of the giggles. He supposed Ronan had gotten hiscum-upance in spades. Dumping ice water on his tent was off the table for now, or at least until Ronan did something else spectacularly stupid.
“How the fuck did you get them on?” Ronan asked, looking exhausted and ten years older than he had before his now-hairless stones were a casualty of the waders.
“One leg at a time.” Jude snorted.
“Put your pants back on, then step into the waders, asshat.” Fitz rolled his eyes.
“You dirty bastards.” Ronan shook his head and went back into his tent.
Ten minutes later, after a few wrong turns, courtesy of Jude, they arrived at the river. He figured the others wouldn’t let him forget getting lost, but so far, no one said a word. Ronan walked bowlegged like a cowboy from the old west, but was no longer complaining about his aching cojones, and Fitzgibbon had seemed caught up in his own head. Jude had a feeling whatever Fitz was chewing on was the thing pushing his temper into overdrive.
Digging into their tackle box, Jude brought out a container that said, “Live Bait.” Fitz opened the lid and Jude pulled out a thick, juicy nightcrawler.
“Ew, I can’t even look at that.” Ronan gagged.
“Why, does it remind you of your dick after it lost the battle with your waders?” Jude asked on a snicker, before adding the bait to Ronan’s hook.
“Too soon, asshole,” Ronan grumbled. He took the fishing pole Jude offered, holding it out in front of him as if it were afraid it was going to bite.
Jude put worms on his and Fitz’s hooks and he stepped up to the side of the river, leaving plenty of space between himself and the others. Large boulders lay in the water with colorful wildflowers blooming around them. The sun shone brightly, with a few dark clouds moving over the nearby mountain peaks. “Okay, this is really simple. Take a look at the reel, see how there’s a metal arc lying at the top of it. The piece of metal is called a bail. Is it on the left or the right side?”
“The right,” Fitz and Ronan said in unison.
“Yup, when it’s in that position, no line can unspool. If you flip the bail to the left, then you can cast the line and reel it in when you get a bite. Watch closely.” Jude flipped the bail mechanism, held the rod so the bait was behind him, and cast the rod forward. The line unspooled and the hook plopped into the water with a small splash. The bobber floated on the surface of the water. “Now you try.”
Fitzgibbon stepped up first and casted perfectly, just the way Jude had shown him. “Okay, Ronan, you’re up.”
