Nancy looked away. The breeze picked up and scattered leaves at their feet.
‘It goes back to before Shane. Before ClearGlass. Before your father died.’
Molly stared at her. Breath held.
‘Your mother and I,’ Nancy began slowly, ‘we made a pact and stuck to it.’
‘A pact?’ Molly whispered as her hands trembled. ‘About me?’
Nancy nodded and suddenly the past, the present, the future became a mish-mash of panic and terror as she waited for whatever Nancy hadn’t yet said. The secret. About her. And suddenly, Molly wasn’t sure she wanted to know. The day had got too warm and the playground echoed with an innocent child’s laughter. And beside her, Nancy wept.
Chapter Forty-Two
After fetching paper napkins from the food truck, Molly waited while Nancy dried her eyes and was able to speak, all the time unsure whether she’d been overcome by a wave of grief or the burden of the secret she’d been carrying. If it was the latter, Molly was now truly dreading hearing it. Watching as Nancy took a sip of her coffee, Molly remained quiet and impatient.
When Nancy began, Molly held her breath, realising her aunt was diving straight in, no preamble, no apologies, only the truth at last.
‘Your mum and dad were very much in love. Everyone could see it. They were a team in every way and had a shared vision, to build ClearGlass and make it great, and then build a home together. They did both and the whole family was so proud of them, me especially. As you know, your mum and I were always close. Maybe it was our twin bond or just because we were best friends, but until your dad came along we were joined at the hip. Shared everything, clothes, secrets, our dreams. And I didn’t resent Ronnie one bit, quite the opposite, because he became the brother I always wanted and he didn’t get in the way of me andJulia. So, life was more or less perfect and the only thing that they wanted to complete their life was a baby.’ Nancy turned and smiled at Molly, as if telling her that she was that longed for child.
‘And it was that desire that almost tore them apart. This power couple who’d achieved everything they set out to couldn’t do the simplest of things and make a baby. It slowly began to destroy Julia, the constant disappointments, the regime that came with trying to conceive and, in their worse moments, the blame game. I honestly thought it was going to split them up and I felt guilty because my career had taken off and I wasn’t around as much as I used to be. Your mum needed me and all I cared about was climbing the ladder while she was struggling and then…’
Molly gasped, causing Nancy to halt mid-sentence and give her a quizzical look then ask, ‘What’s wrong?’
‘I know… I know what you’re going to say… I’ve already guessed.’ Molly’s heart was pounding and even though it was a shock, she got it, what they’d done and why. Two sisters, twins, close and loving, who’d do anything for one another, so why not give the gift of a baby. It all made sense and the joy of it was that she didn’t mind, and if this was the secret then she wished they’d told her years ago and swerved all the worry.
Nancy shook her head. ‘Know what?’
Molly reached over and took Nancy’s hand. ‘That you’re my real mother… that you helped Mum to have a baby and I don’t mind I rea–’
‘Stop, Molly, please stop. That’s not what I was going to say, sweetheart. I’m sorry if I gave you that impression I really am, but you’ve got it wrong.’ Nancy had gone pale under her summer tan and swallowed nervously.
Gathering her wits quickly, not giving herself time to feel stupid Molly asked, ‘So what the hell is it you’re trying to say? Just tell me, Nancy. Get it over with.’
Nancy closed her eyes for a second, sucked in air and straightened her back as she did and then said, ‘Julia was your mum, and always will be. But… Ronnie… he wasn’t your dad and that’s the secret me and Julia kept from everyone, all this time. She wanted you to keep his memory. The times you shared together are precious and pure and he died loving you more than I can ever say. To him, you were his daughter, just like Dee and he never knew…’
Molly’s whole body shook. This was more terrible than she could ever imagine, to be told that the man you’d idolised and had locked in your heart wasn’t your dad, and that your mum had lied… and obviously cheated.
There was only one question in Molly’s head. ‘Do you know who he is?’ Her voice firm despite the trembling inside. ‘I want to know so if you do, just tell me.’
Again Nancy closed her eyes and took a deep breath then turned and looked Molly straight in the eye and answered, ‘Please don’t hate us and I will explain it all–’
‘NANCY!’ Molly shouted, attracting the attention of a dog walker and even his prancing Doberman, but it did the trick.
‘Shane… your real dad is Shane.’
And that’s when Molly knew things couldn’t get any worse, and on a warm summer’s day in front of mums and tots and ducks and dog walkers, her whole life and body fell apart on a green park bench.
Chapter Forty-Three
Molly couldn’t look up. Her hands covered her face and her elbows dug into her knees, such was the weight of her head and the shame held therein. It couldn’t be true. How could it be true? It was a lie. A sick stupid disgusting lie. But why? Why would her mum and Nancy make up something like this? Still Molly couldn’t look Nancy in the eye in case she saw more than the shock that was pulsing through every nerve in her body.
Instead she asked a question that sounded more like a demand when it left her lips. ‘Explain. Tell me howhecan be my…’ She couldn’t bring herself to say the word.
Nancy touched Molly’s arm and was shrugged away. She couldn’t bear to be touched. Had no space in her shredded heart for kindness, only facts. She needed to hear the cold hard truth she’d been deprived of for eighteen years.
Maybe sensing the anger that ebbed from within Molly like a radar pulse, Nancy obeyed.
‘Shane got a job at ClearGlass when he’d just turned eighteen. He was from Preston originally, estranged from his family, a Jack-the-lad and bone idle. Did as little as he could inthe yard where he worked but he liked a laugh and a pint and the other men tolerated him.
