Patting Gina’s hand, Robin sighed and then stood, before pulling Gina towards her while she cried into her apron, rubbing her back in magic circles as she spoke. ‘Shush now, love. I understand it’s hard, sharing something like that, but if I’m honest, I suspected he was up to something but just didn’t want to admit it. But thank you for telling me. You did the right thing.’
At this Gina pulled away and looked up. ‘Really, you’re not mad with us?’
No, just falling apart inside.
Somehow Robin forced her voice to sound calm. ‘No, not at all. Now, you go and wash your face and pour yourself a drink while I go and check on Willow. Babs will be here soon and when she arrives the three of us can have a good old chat, talk this through and decide what’s to be done, okay?’
Gina nodded and Robin released her from the embrace, almost giving in to the urge to run from the room, such was her desire to be with Willow. Instead, she watched for a second as Gina headed towards the kitchen sink before leaving the room.
Only when she reached the foot of the stairs did she flee, taking them two at a time, her daughter’s name screaming in her head, panic taking control of her heart, fear guiding the way to Willow’s bedroom door. Not caring about waking her, she yanked on the handle and burst into the room, terrified of what she would find there.
CHAPTERTHIRTY-SIX
Of course she was fine.What on earth had she expected to see when she opened the door other than Willow, turned on her side, facing the window? No pills scattered on the floor, empty bottles strewn on the duvet, no blood splattering the wall or whatever dreadful gut-wrenching scenario Robin had tortured herself with as she raced along the landing.
She’d overreacted, that was all, and she needed to pull herself together before she approached Willow who was clutching one of Maya’s teddies, stroking its head. She was still there, alive, it was okay.
Moving around the bed, Robin smiled when Willow looked up. ‘Hello, sweetheart, I thought you were sleeping but wanted to check before Babs arrived. Did you have a nice chat with Gina?’
Willow nodded.
‘I was wondering if you’d like to come down and have some food with us. You don’t have to stay long but I’m sure Babs would love to see you and I’ve got some special treats downstairs.’
Willow turned away and focused on the window. She insisted on having the curtains open at all times, so she could watch the birds and the stars. She hated feeling caged, always had done since she was little.
‘Okay. I like Babs. Is Gina still here?’
Robin’s heart soared. For Willow to leave her room was a good sign, progress, and if Edmund or Nate saw her downstairs it would be a win, one she badly needed.
‘Yes, she’s waiting in the kitchen. Now, let me find your slippers… ah, here they are.’
Her heart was thumping, whether caused by happiness or tension Robin didn’t care, only that she got Willow into the kitchen. She intended taking a photo of them together. Proof, that’s what she had to gather, evidence for the care team that Willow did have good days and Robin wasn’t pulling the wool over anyone’s eyes. Least of all her own.
Holding out her hand to Willow, Robin waited.
‘Come on, I’ll brush your hair. Wait till you see the food, it’s very fancy. Lots of sandwiches, there’s a lovely assortment, egg and cress too, your favourite.’
Willow took Robin’s hand, not responding to the lure of party food as she was pulled upwards and then guided towards the chair in front of the dresser. Still silent, she sat patiently while her hair was brushed, and Robin reminded herself to take things gently and resisted the urge to talk to Willow like she was an eight-year-old being readied for a birthday party.
Yet it was hard, because sometimes it felt like Willow regressed, to a time and a place where she was of indeterminate age and needed assistance to eat a few mouthfuls of food, to bathe and dress.
Each day was a challenge, cajoling Willow from her bed, jollying her along so she’d put on some clothes instead of pyjamas. Sometimes she co-operated, others she refused and pulled the duvet over her head and slept. Other days she just stared, at the ceiling, at one page in her precious photo album, at Maya’s teddy, or out of the window.
But today, today Robin was determined would be a good one regardless of the news she’d just heard from Gina. Something positive had to come of the last few hours of a grey day, even if it meant Willow eating a damn sandwich and a fancy cake.
Robin brushed Willow’s fair hair. It had grown so long, was ramrod straight and silky clean from the bath she’d taken earlier that morning. Then Gina’s words poured like boiling water into her brain followed by alarm bells. She would never close the bathroom door on Willow again. She’d leave it ajar and sit outside in the hall just in case…
Looking up, she was about to ask Willow if she’d like her hair tied up when Robin saw she was being watched by eyes that changed colour with her mood. They were darker, greener, embellished by flecks of caramel, intense.
‘Mum.’ Willow’s voice was firm, one not often heard. Robin proceeded with caution because every so often, anger showed its face.
Please not today.
‘Yes, love.’
‘I don’t want Dad to come into my room anymore.’ Willow held Robin’s gaze.
Robin continued to brush, glad her shaking hands were occupied but she had to ask, even though she knew the answer. ‘Why? Has he upset you, sweetheart?’
