“Bad?”
“Water pump issue with our sprinklers. Should just be a matter of getting it fixed. That’s a new water pump,” he grumbled, his phone chiming again. “I’ve got to go.”
It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, to let him walk out into the brilliant sunlight when I wanted him across my bed, that very same sunlight illuminating his naked body. I watched him leave, my insides still quivery, a little nub of anxiety trying to develop into something more. I wanted this Anna Kate thing behind us, then I really would like it if River let me off the hook for this Belle madness she thought was a good idea. But I wanted more than that. Much more. I wanted time alone with Jake, uninterrupted time. Jake was torn, hurt and struggling with his feelings, and we needed to explore those, to talk about all the things we had stored away, him with so many years of bitterness and anger and me with a past that could come back to bite me on the ass. I knew, deep down inside me, that before we could each move forward, we’d have to go back.
Nothing lasted forever, I knew that too well.
But I didn’t want to go back. I was afraid of delving into those memories and reliving that humiliation. But, to move forward with Jake would I have to reveal everything? Let him see me at my lowest and most vulnerable? I wasn’t sure if I could.
And that was more than a little frightening.
Chapter 8
JAKE
After I handled the water pump issues, my daddy called and asked me to meet him at the orchard. After the expansion meeting, I was restless, and I wanted to have him come by the orchard to see what I had planned.
It was time to make a step toward leading instead of following in his shadow. He seemed preoccupied lately. He took a lot of phone calls as if he was conducting business, but hadn’t confided in me about it. Was it just another sign he didn’t trust me? I wanted to know what was going on, but each time I’d asked him about it, he deflected me.
Determined to come clean with my clandestine project, and my plans for the Elliott grove, I pulled up next to his big white Cadillac. My daddy, his powerful build looking dapper and distinguished in a tan linen suit, stood near the golf carts talking on the phone, his burnished golden hair glinting in the sun. He finished the call as I walked up. We were the same six two height, the same broad shoulders and I identified with him, wanted to be like him, make him proud of me. I’d done everything in my power to be the son he’d needed. But, deep down, I couldn’t help but wonder if somehow, somewhere behind those piercing eyes of his whether or not he was disappointed that it wasn’t Chase who had taken such an interest in our family business. That ball of anger that always seemed to be there expanded just a bit, like an acid burn.
“Son,” he said, heading for the driver’s seat, but I cut him off and settled there instead. He gave me an amused look but climbed into the passenger seat without debate. “The Orchard is looking good,” he said.
I nodded. “We’ve got ourselves anonyear,” I said, indicating we’re going to have a heavy crop. Commercial pecan production was a complex practice, requiring considerable knowledge of the pecan tree and of the limiting factors involved in the production of the pecan crop. One of the major constraints involved in the production of pecans was the alternate or irregular bearing tendency, which is an innate survival characteristic of the tree. My daddy hadn’t mismanaged the orchard, but with manager turnover due to my daddy’s exacting standards had left the trees not up to prime. Two years ago, I started to apply the knowledge I’d learned from my schooling and my interest and it had come to fruition. “This year will probably be one of our best.”
“I believe that’s due to your management,” he said. “You really know this orchard, Jake. You’re managing it well.”
Pride swelled in me to hear him say this. “I’m planning on getting my Ph.D. I’ve already talked to my masters advisor and he wants to sponsor me for the doctorate.”
My daddy didn’t say anything for a minute. “Jake, that’s great. I’m all for it. But it’ll be a lot to juggle. Doesn’t seem to me that Anna Kate is a tolerant woman. Won’t she…complain.”
“Anna Kate isn’t figuring into my future plans. I was wrong about her.”
Again he was silent. “Well, she did have the pedigree, but your momma and sister weren’t too fond of her. Just keep in mind that the right kind of woman on your arm can open doors.”
“The right kind of woman?”
“Yes, upstanding with a solid family background. Good Southern stock. There are plenty of women who fit the bill in Suttontowne.”
How about good Western stock? But, now was not the time to bring up Sky. First, I didn’t really want to share her with anyone right now. Our relationship was new, fledgling and I didn’t want to have to explain anything right now, especially when I was still getting to know her and hadn’t really handled Anna Kate yet.
We talked a bit about the fertilization plan, water requirements and crop load management for the coming year. When I was going to bring up my project, my daddy got another phone call. I detoured away from the adjacent orchard. I drove to the warehouse instead. When we got out, he stepped away while I went into the dim interior. As I evaluated the building, my thoughts drifted back to Sky and what she’d said this morning about my relationship with my brother. Managing this orchard was my dream come true and, with Chase out of the picture, I was the only choice for continuing on with our legacy. I wasn’t exactly sure if he was interested in the day to day management or wanted to be involved in the business beyond the sauces Brax had developed and Chase was currently selling in his store or if he had ideas.
Sky’s perspective had influenced me more than I had been swayed by my family’s pleas to make amends with Chase. I knew they came from love for the both of us, but it was Sky who had made the most impact.
She’d lost her family, and her sorrow touched me. Her words impacted me hard when I thought about how I had almost lost my sister and brother when my cousin Earl had tried to put our reputation above my siblings’ lives. That thought made me a little sick to think that I had endured Anna Kate all this time for the same purpose. She’d not only been nasty to Samantha and even to my brother, but to Sky. That was something I couldn’t tolerate. But I was locked in this…need to protect our family reputation from scandal. My daddy had drummed it into us over and over again how important it was to maintain our standing in the community and that was what drove me to strike that bargain with Anna Kate. That’s why I wanted to be careful in the way I broke it off with her. It was to protect Sky. I hadn’t committed to anyone. Not really. I didn’t bring women I’d met back home. I hadn’t found anyone who moved me like Sky. That alone pushed me to get out of my own head and my comfort zone. Being safe wasn’t everything.
Now I saw our bargain as an empty maneuver that wouldn’t make me happy now or in the future when I’d be saddled with a woman who didn’t have any interest in me personally. She had her own agenda, and that was all that mattered to her.
You need to discover what matters to you. That thought came out of the blue and churned up my anger all over again, not understanding where it should be directed. Chase was an easy target, maybe too easy and, now, after Sky’s counsel, I had to wonder if he’d been my own personal scapegoat. That thought rocked me all the way down to my foundations. He’d asked me to be his best man and right about now, I wasn’t feeling best about any of this. He had made a monumental effort, and I had thrown everything back in his face. Yet, he still made this important and honorable request.
My daddy came back, but I could tell he was preoccupied. “How does it look?”
“Solid. I don’t see any problems, except next year we might want to replace the roof.” He nodded. I cleared my throat.” Daddy, I wanted to talk to you. The Elliott grove has been sitting fallow—”
Metal on metal caught our attention and he went over to see what had happened, making sure no one was hurt. As he came back his phone rang again. He looked at the display and smiled. “I’ve got to go, son. Fill me in on the rest of the plant tomorrow.”
I felt a bit deflated he was involved in something that he wasn’t talking about. Did it have to do with the future of the orchard?
