A look of deep disquiet darkened his eyes, a somber, distracted frown appearing. “I know.”
“Of course you do. Don’t take this the wrong way because I mean it in the best possible way, but Jake, what are you waiting for? The years will slip by and you’ll grow further apart until you’re even more of a stranger to him. Do you want that? Do you want to miss out on the babies he and Samantha are going to have, your chance to be an uncle?” My voice wavered, the loss of my brother kicking in hard. He squeezed my hand, his mouth softened with sympathy and the tenderness made my throat tight. “Don’t let this opportunity pass you by. You’ll regret not standing up with him at the wedding. You will.”
He winced, as if my words had touched something raw inside him.; then he spoke, his voice uneven. “I know I would, but it’s not that easy, Sky.”
“I get that,” I whispered. “I do.” My vision blurred, and I clenched my fingers in his shirt. Grief had a way of dropping on you like a ton of bricks and this conversation brought so much of my own struggle with my parents back to me. My resentment had burned so hot when they wanted me to go to school, and I just wanted to work the ranch. My throat so cramped that my jaws ached, I took a deep, unsteady breath, my voice breaking. “I know what it’s like to be estranged from your family. To have a difference of opinion and not know how to get past it.” My voice broke completely, and I had to wait for the nearly suffocating swell of emotion to pass. Wiping my eyes with the side of my hand, I collected myself and went on, my voice just barely above a whisper. “I didn’t get the chance to make amends with my parents because they died. I regret that to the core of my being. I regret that I didn’t tell them I loved them more than I did. But being young, you’re kinda a little stupid, too. You think you have all the time in the world.”
“Ah, babe. I’m sorry,” he said, catching me by the back of the head. I closed my eyes and hung on to him, unable to stop the sadness and emotion from steamrolling me. I knew it was the cookies and missing them and the holidays and Jake’s struggle that I knew too well. I tightened my hold on him and he crushed me closer, his fingers tangling in my hair as he tucked my face against his. “It’s okay, sugar,” he whispered. “It’s okay.”
His face raw and his eyes tender, he whispered hoarsely. “I know you’re right. I have so much anger and resentment that’s built up over so many years. I just need to find a way to get over it. You know.”
My tone was gentle. “I’m here any time you want to talk. I don’t want to push you into something you don’t feel comfortable with.”
He nodded, cupping my face. “Same goes for me, babe. I’m here to listen to you. I might be rusty because I’ve been a prick of late, but I’m going to try. I took the first step in taking what I want, now I’ve got to find a way to get over this. Thank you for not judging me.”
I swiped at my wet cheeks, his thumbs also rubbing away the moisture. “Far be it for me to judge anyone, Jake. Your feelings are real and have to be addressed before you can move forward with forgiveness. I know it’s hard. But I have all the faith in the world that you’ll get there.” I cupped his face, giving him a tremulous smile. “You love him, Jake. That’s the easy part.”
He stared at me, nodded, then closed his eyes and hugged me hard, his voice breaking on an unsteady laugh. “So, you going to pony up some of those cookies or keep them all to yourself?”
I leaned back and looked into his silvery blue eyes, a spark of mischief igniting in me. “I don’t know if you’re worthy—”
He shifted his head, his mouth connecting with mine in a kiss that was filled with so much emotion, with such open, unfettered tenderness, that it drove every conscious thought out of my mind. Rising on tiptoe, I molded myself tightly against him from shoulder to thigh. Nothing was held back in that kiss—nothing. And I felt the fire in him—the wonderful, hot, all-consuming fire that seemed to come from his soul. It was so overpowering… For me, I was in freaking heaven. I wanted Jake for so long, all the pieces of him falling into my hands and those hands wanted to touch every inch of him. I made a soft sound, and he dragged his hand up my back, molding us together in a crushing hold, his other hand immobilizing my head as his mouth turned hot, hungry, and ravaging. Locking my arms around him, I yielded everything—my mouth, my body, my strength—driven by a need that burned through to my very soul.
Widening his stance, Jake dragged me up into the cradle of his thighs, the hard ridge of his flesh meshing with my softness, and suddenly I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, for the thick pulsing urgency swelling in me. Jake groaned and dragged his mouth away, his breathing harsh and ragged as he lifted my hips against his, a violent shudder coursing through him. His merciless hold fusing us body to body, I said, “Jake.” My voice thick with my arousal, I tugged him toward the hall and he even took the steps with me, but halted in the middle of the hall.
“I really want to, but I can’t. Not until I resolve this…thing with Anna Kate,” he whispered. My forehead resting against the angle of his jaw, I weakly closed my eyes, trying to catch both my breath and my balance.
It was a lot of man to move, and I didn’t just mean his big, beautiful body, but Jake’s resolve was like granite. “All right. I don’t like it, but I both admire it and respect your conduct.”
“She doesn’t deserve it, but fuck my upbringing.”
The irritation in his tone made me laugh, and I raised my head and looked at him. “Yeah, screw your sense of moral decency.”
He stared down at me for a moment, then grinned. “Yeah. Fuck me.”
“I really would like to, but we have Anna Kate between us and I for one don’t care for three-ways.”
He threw his head back and laughed, from deep in his chest with a kind of abandon I don’t think I’ve ever seen in him before. There was a little piece of magic in that laughter, something that warmed me down to my very toes, and I reached up and planted a kiss on his mouth. Smoothing back my hair, Jake kissed me back, his mouth warm and moist and so damned tempting it was all I could do to keep things light.
His phone chimed insistently. “I’ve got to go,” he said. “But we’re going ahead with the festival and we’ll need you on the planning committee. You interested?”
“Hell, yes. It was my brainchild, only fair I should be in on the work.”
“That western ethic?”
“Damn straight.” I kissed him softly and said, “Wait just a second.” Dashing back into the kitchen, I snagged three cookies and brought them back to him. “Here. There’s more where that came from,” I said, provocatively in a Mae West way.
He smiled and took a bite, then the laughter faded from his face. He closed his eyes in reverent appreciation. “Mmm, cowgirl. This is heaven.”
I watched him savor my most favorite food. His eyes popped open. “You should consider selling these in our new store and, while I’m on that topic. How about your beauty products? We need inventory from locals. This could drive business your way.”
“Those are great ideas,” I said. “We can talk about them some more.”
“How about now?”
“Sure,” I said and we spent an hour getting down some preliminary plans we were both excited about. Every bit of that time, we touched, our hands, our eyes as we talked and strategized. My senses were tingling and almost on overload when his phone rang.
He looked at the display and sighed. “Problem at the orchard.”
