Except answers. When I remembered all those emails Alyss sent, it’s odd that she couldn’t even talk about Alex. I know he didn’t rape her. Deep in my heart, that’s not the man he is and I can’t believe that’s really the man he was. There’s nothing holding me here, not even a half-dead houseplant. But there is something demanding my attention right now. The truth.
I plug in my laptop and book a flight to Charleston. Alyss will have to be honest if I confront her in person. I won’t accept anything less.
Nineteen
ALEX
“Brother, did you sleep here?”
I lean back on my heels and stare up at Gabe. “We’re racing time, bro. Gotta finish this phase before the snows hit and we can’t get any subs out here.”
“We’re ahead of schedule on the second phase of condos and I thought you had a team coming to do the tiling.”
Tile sucks. I hate working on my knees and cutting and recutting each piece until it fits perfectly. But it’s better than hanging around the Sunflower waiting for Sarah Jane to reappear. Waiting for my heart to start beating again. Waiting to give a shit about anything. “Figured I could make some progress before they show up. Should be here in an hour.”
He frowns at me. “Alright. I’m gonna check the fixtures in unit 301 and 302. Painters should be here soon. And Delilah said she might drop by.
I groan. I’ve been avoiding anyone and everyone who was at the soft opening. Everyone who witnessed my complete failure. Especially her. Maybe I can take lunch when she shows up and let Gabe deal with her. Again.
I drop to my knees and focus on the tile. At least there’s something I’m good at. Might as well hang up my ropes forever. Or I would if they weren’t long gone to the landfill. I still have a few lengths in my closet. When we move out of the Sunflower, I’ll toss them too. Everyone still thinks I’m staying here, living at the resort, but I figure I’m better off heading back to my cousin in St. Louis. Or maybe I’ll head up to Montana or down to Florida. Nothing really tying me to any of these places except people who pity me. At least in a new place I can start over. No clubs. No women. No risk. Can’t lose everything if you give it away.
It’s well after dark when I let myself into the Sunflower that night. There’s a single light on in the kitchen. Amy probably saved me a plate. I leave my tool bag on the first stair to take up after I eat. The small bath has a fancy towel, so I shake off my hands good enough and grab a paper towel before I shove my plate in the microwave for three minutes like Amy’s note said to do. She’s like a mom, taping notes to plates of food in the fridge. My momma used to do that for me when we did two-a-days for football. I love that she cares and I hate that I disappointed her. Both of them. I take my plate and my drink to the dining room not bothering with a light. But as soon as I sit down, the overhead flips on.
Stone.
I close my eyes before I tilt my head to the ceiling. No avoiding the conversation any longer. The chair across from me shifts against the flooring. I open my eyes to face Stone sitting across from me. Rather than give in and talk a shove a bite of casserole in my mouth.Fuck. It’s hot. I open my mouth around my food and huff air in and out in an attempt to cool it. Kind of rude but so is waiting in the dark to ambush me.
Finally, I’m able to chew and swallow. I take a gulp of milk.
“Working late again.”
I nod and blow on my next bite of dinner.
“Delilah says you’re ahead of schedule. Having to rearrange the subs to get them in earlier.”
“Weather could shift at any time. Mountains are unpredictable.” I shove the forkful in and chew carefully.
“I heard every word that night, including ‘Yellow.’ You have no reason to second guess yourself.”
I swallow. Put my fork on the plate. “Whatever you need to say, say it. Because this is the last time I’m talking about it.”
“You did everything right. You’re an excellent Dom.”
“Not a Dom. A top.”
“Everything. Perfectly. Excellent at what you do, the precautions you take. Nothing that went wrong that night was your fault or failure.”
Sure the fuck feels like it. But what the fuck would Stone know about being inadequate. Fucker is made of granite and authority. I’m just some podunk cowboy with a fucking lasso and a fixation on Japanese culture. Too bad I don’t like Sushi. Would have been so much simpler than my passion for tying women up.
“Same is true for what happened in Texas.”
How the fuck does he know what happened in Texas? I’m about to ask him, but he cuts me off.
“You had Dom drop and you haven’t come back from it.”
“What are you talking about?” Might have been true at the time when I was in the scene with SJ, but that’s been… two weeks and three days. I’m over it. Soon I’ll be over her. Any day now.
“Dom drop. Like sub drop. But at this point a blanket, some chocolate, and a cuddle ain’t gonna fix it.”
