“Okay,” I heard myself say.
“You’ll do it? You’re in?” Kenneth was bouncing on the balls of his feet.
“Sure.” Truth be told, the idea of being the one in charge ofthe discussion—being the one to educate these tech nerds—was highly appealing. “I’ll have a draft to you on Friday?”
“Yes!” Kenneth high-fived me. “Awesome, Rachel. Ten gold stars!” He backed toward his cubicle, shooting finger guns at me until he disappeared.
A little while later, I came back from a coffee break to find that he actually had decorated my monitor with ten gold stars. It didn’t bother me, though.
The next two weeks flew by in a haze of uncharacteristic productivity. I was finalizing bachelorette party plans, buying penis necklaces and other vital supplies, and crafting my first lesson plan. I managed to squeeze in a brunch date with Jane, where she gushed about her new job. She was thriving in her new role, and I was so happy for her.
It didn’t even occur to me that the group chat was extra quiet until one evening when Amy messaged us with a lengthy story.
Amy McDonald 6:16 PM:
We’ve been using the Gwyneth Paltrow book, and some things have happened. Gwyneth recommends “surprising” each other. So I put on the lingerie you guys bought me, and I “surprised” Ryan in the living room while he was playingZelda. I was nervous that he was going to brush me aside or completely ignore me. You know how heis when he’s playing games. But I was… um… quite successful in “surprising” him.
Rachel Weiss 6:21 PM:
Please for the love of God tell us what you mean by “surprising” him. I need to know so I can follow along. Not in a pervy way, just in an informational way.
Amy McDonald 6:22 PM:
I was giving him a BJ, okay?
Rachel Weiss 6:22 PM:
Excellent.
Amy McDonald 6:27 PM:
It was going so well that neither of us was paying attention to anything else. And then… after a few minutes I happened to look up. And I screamed. Our neighbor, Ed, was standing outside the window, STARING. So we both stare back at him, and he doesn’t leave, he just stands there, frozen. And Ryan zips up his pants and ANSWERS THE DOOR.
Rachel Weiss 6:28 PM:
WHAT?!
Amy McDonald 6:27 PM:
I KNOW! I ran to the bedroom, but I heard the gist. Ed asked—like everything was completely normal—if he could borrow our drill. And Ryan gave it to him, and neither of them said anything about the incident. So then Ryan came into the bedroom and just stared at me blankly for a minute, and then we both started laughing until we cried, and we collapsed into bed and then… well, we had the most passionate sex we’ve ever had. Ever.
Rachel Weiss 6:30 PM:
Ames! I’m so glad that story had a happy ending. I didn’t have quite that scenario in mind when I gave you the book.
Amy McDonald 6:31 PM:
Ryan joked that we shouldleave the curtains open from now on.
Rachel Weiss 6:32 PM:
Kinky.
Amy McDonald 6:36 PM:
Really though, Rachel, thank you. Tonight felt like a breakthrough for us. I felt more connected to Ryan than I’ve felt in a really long time. I think… I’m going to stick with him. See how things go. I think we have a chance to make it work.
Rachel Weiss 6:38 PM:
