Robby smiled. 'I’m not getting involved in that. No can do.'
Nina shook her head. 'Not a problem. I’m sure I will get something sorted. If the worst comes to the worst, I’m going to wear that one that I got online even though I don’tloveit, it’s nice. So, I think we’re ready. You’re ready, your mum is ready. Everyone’s booked into various accommodation if they need to stay. We go off to the registry office with your mum and dad, my mum and sister, for the quiet little ceremony, and then have the party with the chowder, lots of drinks, and dancing under the stars later on that night. All too easy.’
Robby chuckled. 'Sounds like we’re done and dusted apart from what you’re going to rock up in.'
'It sounds like it,' Nina replied as she sat back and looked up at the wispy clouds trailing across a pale blue-white sky. ‘I’ll just wear the dress I ordered. It’s fine.’
As quick as a flash and from nowhere, Andrew appeared. As often happened, he suddenly slammed into her mind when she was least expecting it. At least these days, it didn’t happen very often, but he was still there, and she still sometimes felt atinybit sad. Not anywhere near as much as she used to, and the grief no longer had a hold of her, but sometimes he was just still around, front and centre, popping in and out of her life. Like he was speaking to her still all this time later.
Robby squeezed her hand. 'Okay?'
She nodded. 'Yeah, I’m fine.'
He squinted his eyes. 'Are you sure? You suddenly went very quiet. What are you thinking about?'
Nina wasn’t going to bother to talk about Andrew, not that it was a problem between them, just that she didn’t really want to change the mood. No one wanted to hear her keep going on about him, least of all Robby. She shook her head. 'Oh, nothing.'
'Are you sure it’s nothing?' Robby insisted.
Nina was going to say yes then changed her mind. 'I just had a fleeting image of Andrew in my head. Sorry. The anniversary is coming up soon. It must be that.’
Robby nodded. 'I thought you might have done when you said about the date before. Have you been feeling sad?'
Nina shook her head. 'Not at all, the opposite, in fact. I don’t feel sad about him anymore. I sort of feel fond memories and warm feelings, whereas before, I was so wrapped up in grief and hurt and sadness and pain that I couldn’t remember things with fondness or happiness. Now that’s changed.' Nina went quiet for a second. 'Because of you,' she added.
'I feel the same, even though what happened to me was a lot earlier, and I was a lot younger. I never thought I would meet anyone who, well, you know…' He stopped for a minute and then continued, 'I never thought I’d be with anyone who just made me feel likemeagain.'
Nina felt a prick of something in the corner of her eyes. She nodded. 'Same, same, same. Me too.'
24
In old, ripped jeans and a work shirt, Nina was in the new harbour property. She heaved herself up the timber stairs towards the third floor. She’d been working all day and was feeling it as she got to the top and stood looking at the room. Despite wondering when it wasevergoing to be done, she suddenly felt as if everything had come together. When she’d first bought the place, it had been covered in dust, cobwebs, and loads of junk. Now the junk was long gone, just a distant memory of one of the first few days when she’d taken possession. Not only was the place now free of junk, but the whole of the top floor was a beautiful, soft white. On the far wall, the old timber shelves that had stored fishing gear were a slightly warmer shade of white and now held pillar candles, a selection of photo frames, and a couple of plants. Nina was well on her way to getting the place sorted.
Across the room, she pushed up the beautiful sash window and stood for a while looking out over the harbour. Boats bobbed around on the water, the sunlight glinted off the sea, and every now and then, a seagull swooped down and landed on the back of a hull. After fussing with a sisal plaited rug that had been delivered the day before, she pulled a chair over towards thewindow and sat looking out at the same view, lost in thought. It was her and Andrew’s wedding anniversary, and despite telling herself that she was fine and everything was okay when the date had flicked over on her phone, she wasn’t very happy at all. She watched as Sophie crossed the harbour below, pushed open the window further, called out, and waved. At first, Sophie didn’t hear her, so she called again. Hearing Nina’s voice, Sophie peered up at the top of the building, put her left hand up to shade her eyes, and called out, 'Hello, how are you?'
'Yes, all good, thanks. How are you?' Nina replied.
'Fine.’
‘Tea?'
'Yes, please. Love one,' Sophie replied.
Nina shut the window and made her way downstairs, and just as she was pouring hot water from the kettle into the teapot, Sophie came through the back door. She hugged Nina and then, holding her arms out and keeping her hands on Nina’s shoulders, she raised her eyebrows in question. 'Are you okay? I know this is a sad day.'
Nina replied, 'Yes, I'm fine. Honestly.'
'Really?' Sophie replied, her eyebrows still raised in question. 'You seem very off.'
'No, I'm fine,' Nina repeated, as the Pity Smile Nina hadn’t seen for a long time landed back on Sophie’s face.
'Not the best day for you, is it?'
Nina shrugged and flapped her hand a little bit. 'I'm okay. I'm used to it. It’s just... I’ve had a lot going on, and I seem to be strangely full of emotion, which I didn’t think was going to happen. I’m just a bit fragile around the edges.’ She shook her head and closed her eyes tightly. ‘I should be happy, not feeling sad again.’
'It’s a big day full of lots of memories andveryemotional.’
‘Yeah, but it feels different this time which is throwing me. Is there such a thing as happy-sad?' Nina asked.
