“It started with Magic, like you said, but I was slow on the uptake,” Joshua began. “Mainly, because I didn’t realize he’d stolen my dog, as you put it, until he’d stolen my heart, too.”
April 2011—Nashville, Tennessee
Joshua crossed hisarms over his chest, sulking as Magic raced after yet another tennis ball he’d thrown, only to bring it right to Neil’s feet instead of his. The dog park was crowded for a Tuesday afternoon, probably because the weather was finally decent after a wickedly cold winter and a wet spring. Green flowed from grass to tree, and the sky shimmered a hot, thick blue.
Magic’s black fur rippled over her quivering body as she waited eagerly for Neil to pick the ball up and throw it for her. He bent gracefully and did just that, demonstrating a form in his pitch that Joshua hadn’t anticipated given his normally uptight, tense way of holding himself.
“So are you done being mad now?” Joshua asked.
The entire walk from the apartment, Neil had been on his phone yelling at one of his lab assistants, and Joshua had wondered if he should really be crushing on a guy who had such a cutting tongue. Would he talk to Joshua that way if he got angry? What would happen if Joshua got vulnerable with him and opened himself up?
Not that he ever would. Or could. It didn’t matter if Neil was hot and sexy. It didn’t matter if he was so good with Magic that it melted Joshua’s heart and half his brain, too. It didn’t matter that when Neil yelled at his assistant, Joshua just wanted to sling an arm around him, hug him close, and kiss him until he shut up. Because Joshua wasn’t acting on those thoughts. Ever. He knew better than that. He just needed to shove them down deep into a box and keep on going.
“I’m done being mad,” Neil said, but he didn’t sound like it. His voice still held an edge of irritation. “Where’s Paul lately? Haven’t seen him coming or going.”
Joshua stiffened. Neil asked about Paul a lot when he was picking Magic up or dropping her off, or just telling Joshua that he waskeepingher like he was prone to do of late. “His grandpa’s sick back home in Scottsville. He had to take a leave from school to help out.”
“Ah.” Neil glanced at him out of the side of his eye, and then bent to retrieve the ball Magic had brought back to him. She gave a little jump and bark of delight. He threw the ball even farther. “How do you feel about that?”
Joshua wrinkled his nose. Was Neil Russell, nanite researcher at Vanderbilt and grumpy-ass, dog-stealing neighbor really asking him about his feelings? And why? “I hope his grandpa is okay, I guess. It’ll be hard on everyone if he dies.”
“Will it be hard on you?” Neil narrowed his blazing blue eyes on Joshua. Then he made the hand motion he’d taught Magic early on. It meant ‘down and stay,’ and Magic did just that. She dropped to the dust at Neil’s feet, panting, and contented herself with watching the other dogs play.
“Not really? I mean, if Paul moves out, paying the bills will be tough, but…” He shrugged. “I mean, I don’t really know his grandpa.”
Neil’s brow quirked. “And my grad students say I’m cold. Wow. Blizzard levels here.”
“Why?”
“Your boyfriend’s grandpa is on the brink and you’re just worried about the bills? I’d say your relationship is headed over the falls, too, in that case.”
“Paul isn’t my boyfriend,” Joshua whispered, looking around to see who might’ve overheard. “I’m not…” Joshua swallowed down the word gay and the lie along with it. “I mean, he’s my friend.”
“You’re not what?” Neil glared at Joshua, obviously daring him to deny himself.
“Paul’s my friend.”
“Got it. And you’re notwhat?”
Joshua swallowed hard and stared at Neil’s lips. They were held tightly, ready to bite out more sharp words if necessary. Joshua told the truth. “I’m not into him.”
Neil’s mouth twitched, and then he nodded sharply. “Good.”
“Good?”
“Yeah. Good.”
“Good because…?” Joshua swallowed hard, adrenaline making him lightheaded. “What? You don’t like gay guys?”
Neil laughed then, hard and long, bending over to put his hands on his knees, his straight shoulders shaking with the force of his laughter. Joshua had never seen him lose it like that.
“What?”
“Oh, I like gay guys,” he said, between getting his wind again and wiping at his eyes. He stood up straight and graced Joshua with one of his rare smiles. It was so sweet and bright that it almost hurt to see. Then he gripped Joshua’s bicep hard. “I like them a lot.”
Joshua swallowed hard, gathered his courage, and confessed, “I’m gay.”
Neil’s expression softened. “Me, too.”
