“You can’t tell me he’s not good looking enough. He’s adorable, Neil, and he’s smart. He makes me laugh all the time, and I’ve even seen you chuckle around him. So…why not?”
Neil stared at her. “Mom,” and he had to refrain from calling her Alice in pure frustration. “Find a boyfriend. Get your own life and stay out of mine. I’ve told you this before.Listenthis time, for the love of—”
“Neil,” she said seriously, “is this because of Joshua?”
Neil ignored that. “What makes you think Derek would even be interested in dating me? We’re roommates. We’re friends. That’s it.”
Alice narrowed her eyes and took a bite of her pizza, chewed a moment while glaring daggers at Neil. “You’re having sex with him.”
Neil practically choked on this soda, and coughed before drinking some more, just to have something to do with his mouth so that he wouldn’t curse at her for being so damn nosy. “Did he tell you that?” he finally asked.
“He didn’t have to.”
Neil didn’t believe her, and she clearly knew that, because she went on to say, “I made an educated guess based on how you look at him, and how he behaves around you, and how that’s changed over the last few months. He cares about you, Neil.”
“We’re friends. Who have sex. We both want it that way.”
Alice sighed. “You could be happy, if you’d just let yourself.”
Neil swallowed his soda and stuffed more pizza into his mouth. He couldn’t talk to her about it. She was right, after all. He could pretend that he was like everyone else, pretend that Joshua wasn’t alive out there being Joshua, being the best thing that Neil had ever known, and he couldtryto fall in love with Derek. But that was the thing. He shouldn’t have to try.
“What I remember of love—romantic love,” he clarified, “is that it isn’t something you try to make happen, or that you have any control over at all. If I was going to fall in love with Derek, I would have fallen for him by now. I like him. He’s a good guy. We enjoy what we have going. But I’m not going to marry him and make a family with him. I’m not going to become a different son. I’m sorry that I’m always a disappointment to you.”
Alice’s expression went very serious. “You’re not a disappointment,” she said. “I love you, Neil. I just want you to be loved and to experience happiness. It’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”
“I don’t think that’s in the cards this time around, Mom,” he said. “But right now, I’m not miserable. I’ve got my research and a decent roommate. Right now…well, it ain’t bad.”
Alice kissed his forehead and left the discussion behind. For that, Neil was grateful. And later that night, rocking his aching cock into Derek’s tight body, Neil kissed the sweaty skin of Derek’s neck and thought, “Nope. This ain’t bad at all.”
Chapter Ten
November 2030—Atlanta, Georgia
Neil stared athis phone’s touchscreen in shock. The social media announcement was plain and left no room for questions:
Lee Edward Fargo left this earth suddenly Friday afternoon. Friends and family will be received at the Harwood and Strode Funeral Home on Lois Moore Drive. In lieu of flowers, please donate to World Bicycle Relief, which mobilizes children worldwide in order to help them complete their education.
Please refrain from texting or calling. Joshua is with his family and needs some space to grieve. He knows that you love and care for him.
The university cafeteria bustled mindlessly around him, no one knowing or caring that the entire world had just turned upside down. Neil shoved his tray back and scrolled through the comments looking for details. Sure enough, Chris—ah, Chris, how he’d missed him over the years—posted in reply to someone named Kath Henderson’s questions about how and what had happened:
Yes, an aneurysm due to the early nanite treatment, Kath. Joshua was with him. It happened at breakfast. They were alone together. Poor Joshua.
Then further down in response to a Gary Lowe:
The nanites didn’t dissolve properly. A genetic predisposition causes that problem sometimes, especially with the old nanites. I don’t know a lot about it other than Dale doesn’t have the genetic issue Lee did. Is it wrong of me to thank God for that? Most of what I know about the older nanites and those issues comes from the news.
Gary Lowe then asked if it was a total shock or if they’d known it was a possibility.
Joshua told me Lee already knew about the lack of dissolution of the prototype nanites, but they’d hoped to find a way to resolve it before something like this happened. Joshua is devastated. He’s with his mom and brother. You know his father passed suddenly just last year? It’s been a rough time. The Mennonites who work for him at the lumberyard have the whole family covered for food, though. Thanks for asking.
Neil’s blood ran cold. He read over the comments again. Clicked through to Joshua’s page to scroll through post after post of condolences, and stories about Lee, and photos of Lee with whoever was commenting with their sorrow. He clicked open a picture of Lee standing alone beside Cummins Falls in Tennessee. His shaggy, dark brown hair was wet and hung around his still-scarred neck, and his eyes sparkled happily. The caption said, “Fun trip to the Falls with Lee Fargo. Nanite treatment for his scars begins next week.”
As he stared at the pictures, a new post came up on Joshua’s page. It was from Joshua himself, and Neil swallowed hard. He could count on two hands the number of posts that Joshua had made himself over the years.
Losing Lee is like having my heart torn out and my arm cut off. I can’t breathe. I can’t stop crying. I know you all loved him and that does more good for me than anything else. When I lost Neil, my first love, I thought I’d never feel pain that bad again. I was wrong. Thank you for all your words of love and shared grief. We’ll have to make it through this together. Lee would want that for me…for us.
Neil blinked at his phone, mind whirring. He had no idea what to do, how to proceed. He hadn’t realized how comfortable he’d become over the years with the knowledge that Lee Fargo was taking care of his Joshua. And now…
