“Visiting Jason and Vale. I was going to come right home, but…” He shuddered as Caleb rubbed arnica into his back. The sick ache of pressure on the boot-shaped bruise made him nauseous. He should tell Caleb about Vale and Jason’s news, but he just didn’t have the energy.
“He’s your cocaine,” Caleb murmured, mentioning the drug that had flayed open and destabilized Caleb’s childhood when his father became addicted to it and lost the family fortune.
There’d been so many reasons Xan’s parents had opposed their match, including Caleb being older, at twenty-nine, and carrying a dubious reputation. The history of addiction and scandal had been another black mark. They’d only given in when they’d realized Xan was determined beyond reason to contract with the beautiful Caleb and that he wouldn’t even entertain the idea of any other omega. Now his parents liked Caleb better than they liked him, but that was another story altogether.
Xan bit down on the inside of his cheek, remembering how he’d once thought Caleb was the savior he’d been looking for. How terribly wrong he’d been. And now he’d dragged poor Caleb down with him, making the handsome, patient man subject once again to the poorly managed addiction of the alpha in his life. Shame rose hotly to his cheeks.
“I’ll quit him,” Xan promised. He no longer knew how many times Caleb had implored him to stop submitting to Monhundy’s violence and how many times he’d agreed, only to decide a few weeks later to endure it “one last time.”
“You must, before he murders you.”
“Or the truth gets out.”
Caleb sat back on his heels, his brow arched as he gazed imperiously down at Xan. It was an expression he excelled at. “Your priorities remain skewed. Your life is more important than your reputation.”
“My father wouldn’t agree. Or Ray.”
“You don’t give your brother enough credit. As for your father… Well…” Caleb trailed off, both of them no doubt remembering the family dinner when Xan’s father had declared that he’d rather have a dead son than an unmanned one after a rumor about the nature of Xan’s proclivities had come to his attention. “The state you’re in, I’m surprised you were able to make it home.”
“I had help,” Xan admitted.
“Someone drove you?” Caleb asked carefully.
“No, Urho Chase saw me trying to get to my car and he assisted me.”
Though Xanshouldn’thave driven himself. He’d nearly passed out twice as he’d tried to navigate the streets, blinking in and out of consciousness as the world dissolved around him. Luckily, the roads had been mostly deserted, but still, the trip had been harrowing.
When he’d arrived at their upscale house in Center Square, just a half mile from his parents’ palatial home, he’d been grateful to see Lenser, one of his most discreet beta servants at the front door. He’d handed over the keys to the car, asked Lenser to put it in the garage, and headed inside, glad to be home in one piece, and aware that while Lenser would ask no questions and spread no rumors, he’d still seen his employer in a state no man could call respectable.
Thank wolf-god that betas didn’t have the scenting ability of omegas or alphas, or Lenser would have known the truth instantly. As Urho had.
“Dr. Chase is an alpha,” Caleb said, sitting back with wide eyes. “You arrived here reeking of the monster’s semen. There’s no way he didn’t smell him on you.”
Xan’s gut tangled up and hot humiliation and cold fear rushed over him at once. “He did.”
“And you told him what? That you’d been attacked? Set upon by some alpha who…?” Caleb’s uncertainty drove into Xan with a ferocious need to protect him, to promise his omega that everything would be okay. He was an alpha after all, no matter what sick things he got up to sexually. He still felt the urge to protect his omega from harm.
“I told him the truth.”
Caleb gasped. “You… Why?”
“As you said, he scented it on me. He demanded we call the police. You know how Urho is, so upright and correct. And I wasn’t thinking clearly enough to come up with another plan. The truth seemed the only way out.”
“And what truth was that?” Caleb’s blond brows rose. “The one you tell me or the real, honest to wolf-god truth?”
“The least amount of it I could afford to tell while still stopping him from doing the so-called ‘right’ thing and calling the police.”
“And did you tell him about Jason?”
Xan flinched. “No. That’s not something Jason would want.” Though he’d hinted to Urho that Jason knewsomething, hadn’t he? He slowly met Caleb’s eyes.” I didn’t realize you knew about Jason.”
“Not from you, that’s for certain. And, no, not from Jason either. But I’m not a fool. I know you well enough now and I’ve seen how you look at him sometimes, the way you still long for him. And I’ve seen how he looks at you with affection and, well, for lack of a better word, guilt. He knows you far too well and treats you too generously to just be an old friend.”
“We were lovers, yes.”
“What ended it?”
Xan sighed. “He found Vale.”
