‘Good.’
Anna stood and made to leave, but she could tell Deborah had something else to say.
‘I know it’s none of my business,’ Deborah said, ‘but what was it that brought you back to London?’
Anna had never told anyone in the London office about her relationship with David. Had thought it was inappropriate. That she would be judged over it. But Deborah was leaving, and Anna was starting to realise that she wasn’t the sort of woman who judged other women for their mistakes.
‘I had my heart broken,’ she said. ‘I needed to get away from him.’
‘David?’ Deborah asked, and part of Anna was shocked that she’d guessed, and part of her wasn’t.
‘Yes.’
‘I’m sorry that happened. He should have known better.’
‘Yes, he should,’ Anna said. ‘But so should I.’
‘From a selfish point of view, it’s been great, having you back.’
‘Thank you.’
When Anna left the office that afternoon, she was thinking about what Deborah had said and she almost didn’t notice the person who was standing outside waiting for her. She didn’t see him, in fact, until he called her name. Edward. When she turned back and saw him, leaning against the outside wall of her office building, she couldn’t quite put the pieces together. He was part of another life, but even when she’d been in that life, she’d never seen him here.
‘What are you doing here?’ she asked.
‘I wanted to see you. Do you have time for a coffee or something?’
Anna met his eyes for the first time. He looked a bit bewildered, like he didn’t know what he was doing or where he should be. And that wasn’t the Edward she knew. It was enough to stop her from saying no, which was her initial impulse.
‘Okay,’ she said. ‘There’s a place just around this corner.’ She gestured and began to walk, and he followed her.
In the café, the barista smiled at Anna and asked if she wanted her usual. She called in there most mornings on her way into the office. ‘And for you?’ The handsome young man looked up at Edward, who asked for an Americano. ‘Sit down, I’ll bring them over.’
Anna chose a table, making bets with herself about what he was going to say. It couldn’t be to do with the divorce, with the sharing of their assets, could it? All of that was done and dusted so long ago. But what else? His new partner, his child? How could any of that have anything to do with Anna? She took a seat and waited for him to speak.
‘It’s good to see you,’ he said.
Anna didn’t say anything. What was there to say? Was it good to see him? She wasn’t sure.
‘Listen, I know this is a shock, seeing me like this. I’ve just… I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. And especially today…’
He trailed off, and Anna tried to think what he might mean by that. And then it hit her. It was their anniversary. Or would have been. She did a quick calculation in her head. If she and Edward had stayed together, this would have been their fourteenth anniversary. What would her life be like? Would she be doing the job she was doing? Would they have children? Would she feel fulfilled, like she was on the right track?
‘I don’t know what to say,’ Anna said, because she felt she had to say something.
‘No, I know. I’m not explaining myself. Did you know it’s exactly three years ago that we met on the common?’
Anna thought about that. Could it be true? She had no idea when it had happened, only that it had been early summer. So perhaps, she thought. And he seemed so sure.
‘No, I…’
‘I went home that day, my head full of you. You looked incredible, and seeing you was like revisiting an old life. A happier one. And I realised, when I got home, that it was our anniversary. It felt like fate. But I convinced myself it was nothing, carried on with my new life with Ella and Jen, but I just knew it was all a lie, and every time Jen talked about the wedding, I put her off. I just couldn’t face it. Plus I lost my mum, and I was a mess. In the end, she confronted me, and I admitted it. I was having doubts. And she left me.’
Anna fixated on the news of him having lost his mum for a moment. They’d never been close, Anna and her mother-in-law, but it was strange to have known nothing of her death. She had a memory from the wedding, her mother and Edward’s, both in slightly old-fashioned dresses and jackets, laughing together. And now, one was dead, the other dying. She’d been living withthe knowledge that her mum had terminal cancer for a while now, and it didn’t get any easier, no matter how patchy their relationship had been.
She snapped back to the present, to the news Edward had just revealed. ‘She left you?’
‘Yes. It was the right thing, I don’t blame her. My heart wasn’t in it. When we met, she wanted to have a child and I was so raw from you not wanting to, and so we jumped into it, and then Ella came along and she was just wonderful, it was everything I’d thought it would be, but it wasn’t with the right person. It wasn’t with you.’
