‘Isn’t that always the way?’
‘Yes,’ Anna said. ‘Isn’t it?’
12
YES
Monday 5 June 2006
Anna woke and turned on her side and Edward was propped up on his elbow, watching her.
‘Happy anniversary,’ he said.
She smiled. ‘What time is it? Are the boys still asleep?’
Most nights, one or other of their children ended up in their bed in the middle of the night. Thomas came in of his own accord and they didn’t always realise until they woke up and found him there. Sam was in a cot, so he called for them, and if they had the willpower for it, they would try to get him back to sleep in his own room. But if they didn’t, they would carry him in his sleeping bag into theirs and lay him down between them.
‘It’s six-fifteen,’ Edward said. ‘Both asleep. I have to get up soon. But I wanted to make it up to you, for not always being great at the anniversary thing.’
Anna rubbed her eyes. She wasn’t awake enough for this kind of conversation. But her instinct was to say that they hadn’t been together the year before, and she couldn’t really rememberthe year before that. But before she could speak, the door creaked open and Thomas stood there, his panda toy in his arms.
‘Do you want to come in?’ Anna asked him.
He nodded and did a sort of half-run into the room, launching himself onto the bed. Anna pulled him to her, breathed in his sleepy smell.
‘Any dreams?’ she asked him.
He nodded again. ‘About a big, green monster eating Sam,’ he said.
Anna and Edward exchanged a look.
‘You know that’s not going to happen, don’t you?’ Edward asked.
Thomas shrugged his small shoulders, and Anna pulled him closer still.
‘I’d better get in the shower,’ Edward said. ‘But I wanted to say, I’ve booked us theatre tickets for tonight.’
‘What about the boys?’ she asked, surprised. It wasn’t like him to spring something on her. But then, he’d been making an effort since she’d asked him to come home just before Christmas. He’d been trying to show her that she’d made the right decision. And she had, she thought. She’d made the right decision for their family. And for her. That kiss with Steve had been a one off. She’d stopped it before it had gone any further, unable to get past the fact that he was married. One afternoon when the leaves were turning red and gold, they’d almost kissed again. And despite her body screaming yes, Anna had pushed him away and told him that he owed it to Theresa to really decide whether what they had was worth saving. That night, she’d called Edward and asked him to come home. She was scared of the way she felt about Steve, in truth. She was terrified of him turning her down, deciding it was over, so she pre-empted him.And once Edward was back, it felt like he hadn’t been away, and she choked back her feelings when she saw Steve, and they didn’t talk about what could have been.
‘Keira from nursery is babysitting. It’s all sorted.’ Edward came around to her side of the bed on his way to the bathroom and leaned down to kiss her.
‘Thank you,’ she said.
She heard the shower start up, heard Edward step into it. Thomas wriggled his body until it was touching hers at the shoulder, hip and knee. He clung to her in a way that Sam never did. Just then, Sam shouted out and Anna peeled Thomas off herself to go to him. Sam was standing up in his cot, his dark hair in disarray, his eyes huge. He looked at her and raised his arms and she lifted him, carried him through to her bedroom. She had ten minutes before she needed to get up, and while she knew there was no hope of going back to sleep, being horizontal was enough. The boys lay beside her, Thomas close and Sam rolling around on Edward’s side, and when Edward came through, wrapped in a towel, he got back in for a couple of minutes and Anna felt so content she thought for a minute she was going to cry.
This was it, wasn’t it? This was why everybody did it. Why they put up with the sheer hard work of it and all the juggling of childcare, work and endless washing. They did it for moments like this. Four in a bed, everyone happy. A family.
Too soon, her alarm cut into her thoughts and she stood up, knowing that if she snoozed it, she would never win her morning battle. It was time to get everyone ready and breakfasted and out of the door. Each morning, it took every ounce of patience she had.
It wasn’t until she was leaving the house with the boys, Sam strapped into the pushchair and Thomas on the buggy board,that she thought to ask Edward about the arrangements for later.
‘Where shall I meet you?’ she asked. ‘What time?’
‘No need to come home. Keira’s bringing them back here after nursery closes. I’ve given her a spare key. Just meet me at seven at that cocktail bar in Covent Garden, the one with the tree inside.’
‘Okay, see you,’ Anna said, kissing his cheek.
And on the walk to nursery and the Tube to work, she smiled. It was a long time since she’d had a night out to look forward to, something that was just for her.
