She just nods, as if this is completely normal. “And what do you plan to do with them?”
I shrug. “Right now, they’re just existing. Watching over my coffee table. And my breakfast bar. And my bookshelves. Theo—” I cut myself off, glancing away. “Anyway. They’re multiplying.”
There’s a pause. Then she says, “Theo?”
Damn it.
I pick at the thread on my sleeve again. “He thinks I should sell them.”
“And what do you think?”
I scoff. “I think they’re not nearly good enough for that.”
Another pause. “You know, Ivy, you have a tendency to talk yourself out of things before you even try them.”
I give her a look. “Yes, I know. That’s why I pay you.”
That earns me a small smile. “Fair enough.”
She watches me for a moment, and I know she’s waiting for me to say more. To mention something else.
I don’t.
I don’t tell her about the hot tub.
About how warm the water was. About how close Theo was sitting next to me, the way our legs brushed underwater, the way my heart did something completely ridiculous in response.
And I definitely don’t tell her about the way I almost said something before I panicked and looked away.
Nope.
Not bringing that up.
I clear my throat. “So, I’m mentally stable. Shall we call it a day?”
She leans back in her chair, completely unimpressed. “Nice try.”
I sigh dramatically. “Worth a shot. I took care of Lucy when Theo was in a pickle. And we ended up with his family and my friend Christa in the hot tub. And it still felt a little bit more like friends… especially when his daughter declared that Theo doesn’t need a girlfriend because he has her and me. She included me in their little family. And I like that, I’m not going to lie.”
Pee-Pee watches me closely, her gaze calm but focused, like she’s watching the exact moment something clicks in my brain.
I shift under her stare, crossing my arms. “This is bad, isn’t it?” I blurt out.
Phyllis doesn’t react, just picks some fluff off her lavender cardigan. “What makes you say that?”
I throw up my hands. “Because I shouldn’t need to feel like I belong somewhere, right? I should be fine on myown. I should be content just being me. That was the whole point of this! I wasn’t supposed to let anyone else fill a space in my life. I was supposed to be enough on my own.”
Pee-Pee leans back slightly, watching me with that unreadable expression. “Ivy,” she says carefully, “do you think that wanting connection with people means you’re not enough?”
I shift uncomfortably. “That’s not—”
She lifts a hand, cutting me off gently. “You didn’t say that in so many words. But you seem to believe that needing people… that feeling like you belong somewhere is a weakness.”
I frown. “Isn’t it?”
Her brow furrows slightly. “No. It’s being human.”
I look down at my hands. “But what if I do need that? Doesn’t that mean I’ve failed? That I haven’t done what I was supposed to do?”
