It wasn’t real.
And that is the part that stings the most.
I force myself to stand up straight, running a hand over my face as the water continues to pour down over me. I need to get a grip.
Ivy is my friend.
She is off-limits.
No matter how good that kiss had felt in my head. No matter how much my heart is still hammering in my chest, like it hasn’t caught up to the fact that it was all a dream.
I reach for the shower tap, twisting it off with more force than necessary.
The water stops.
Reality settles in.
And I’m left standing here, completely alone.
17
Being Human
Ivy
Pee-Pee peers at meover the rim of her glasses, waiting.
“So, Ivy,” she says, her voice as calm and measured as always. “How’s it going?”
I lean back in the slightly-too-stiff armchair, letting my fingers play with a loose thread on my sleeve. “Good. Great. Life ticks along.”
“That’s not really an answer.”
I sigh. “I’m still doing yoga three times a week.”
She nods approvingly. “And how’s that going?”
“Shockingly well,” I admit. “I mean, I still struggle with some of the poses, but I actually feel better afterwards. I don’t want to throw my laptop out the window every time I get a frustrating email, so I guess that’s progress.”
Her mouth twitches. “That is progress.”
I nod. “And I’ve also taken up… a bit of a side project.”
She waits, because she knows I’ll keep talking if she just gives me enough silence.
I cross my legs. “I, uh, may have accidentally started an army.”
Both her brows lift. “An army?”
I wave a hand. “Not a real one. A gnome army.”
Pee-Pee laughs, which is shocking enough. Even she seems surprised and bites her lip to shut it down. “A… gnome army?”
“Yeah, I ordered way too much clay and needed something to do with it. Tried making a bowl first, but it turned out looking like a first try of a Grayson Perry. Then I attempted some jewellery… also a failure. But the gnomes? The gnomes worked.”
Pee-Pee, to her credit, barely reacts to this information. “And how many gnomes are in your army?”
I bite my lip. “Um… a lot?”
