“I know,” I tell her. “But I’m going to go. Thank you for everything.” I hold up my walking taco. “Especially the food. It’s perfect for my trip to Port Authority.”
“Of course. Call and let me know how it all goes,” she says.
We hug goodbye, and with the city drenched in darkness, I hop on a bus back to Connecticut, leaving my old life behind and hoping like hell I can make it back before the Pumpkin Prom is over.
By the time I get back to Bramble Falls, the town is quiet. There are no lingering couples dressed in costumes, no leftover decorations, no music or snap-lock dance floor set up in the square.
It’s too late to knock on Cooper’s door, but there’s no way I can do literally anything until I talk to him. I need to make things right. So I go to his house anyway.
His bedroom light is off, but the TV is on.
Me:Are you awake?
I wait for a response, but I’m left on read. Okay, then.
Me:Come outside.
A few seconds later, he appears in his window. At first he looks surprised to see me. Then his face sours, turning annoyed.
Autumn Cooper:go away
“I’m not going away, Cooper. Come out here,” I shout, not caring if I wake up the whole neighborhood.
He rolls his eyes and disappears from the window. A few seconds later I meet him in front of his house.
“Hey,” I say quietly.
“What do you want?”
“To talk.”
“I don’t want to talk,” he says.
“Then listen.”
He crosses his arms over his chest like armor. “I don’t want to listen, either.”
“Please, Coop. I’m sorry I bailed on you and missed the Pumpkin Prom. I’m sorry I didn’t stay. It was a mistake.”
“It was expected.”
My heart aches. “Please don’t say that.”
“What do you want me to say? I’ve spent all day agonizing over what I could have done differently, Ellis, and all I came up with is that I never should have spoken to you again. I shouldn’t have let you back into my life.” His eyes look as hollow as I feel. “You know the old adage—when people show you who they are the first time, believe them.”
“But I came back,” I say weakly.
“That’s not the point!” he yells. “I can’t trust you to stay because leaving is what you do. You don’t care about anyone or anything unless it gets you closer to your goals. And the worst part? You’re so focused on what’s at the end of this path that’s been laid out for you, you hardly give a second thought to the people walking it with you. Instead you step on us and treat us like we’re in your way. Like we’re inconveniences or hurdles you have to get past on your way to reaching your dad’s dreams. Because let’s be clear, working at his company is notyourdream, Ellis. Everyone who knows you knows it. But it doesn’t matter, because even though deep downyouknow it too, you refuse to admit it. To forge your own path.” He shakes his head and looks at the leaves scattered across the front yard. “And I’m not really interested in being another person in your life who’s nothing more than a pit stop. Someone who doesn’t matter.”
I wilt as the weight of his words sinks into my bones because he’s not wrong.
My chin quivers as I step toward him. “I’m so sorry. I want—”
“I actually don’t care what you want. And I don’t care about your empty apologies. I get that you’d rather not be here, so you were upset about your mom buying a house. But I can’t be with someone who books it out of here without considering how it affects other people.” He shrugs like he’s given up, like he doesn’t know what else to say to me. “You’ve only ever cared about yourself, and I’m over it. I’m not making the same mistake again. Now leave me alone.”
He turns to go inside, and I don’t bother stopping him.
Because what’s the point? I always wanted to be my dad, and I’ve become him.
