“Brian. Isn’t that the guy Jamie dated a couple years ago? I thought they broke up. No, Iknowtheydid.”
“Well, everyone loves a second chance romance, right?” Parker said brightly. “Seems like they’re back together, and now Jamie’s got all kinds ofplans.” He scratched his chin. “I’m happy forhim.”
I’d never heard anyone express happiness in that tone of voice before, but I refrained from commenting onit.
“Well, when they dated before, Brian pissed him off to no end,” I volunteered, carefully not looking at Parker. “He was all over Jamie, all the time, and not in a cuteway.”
“Yeah?”
“Mmm. The final straw was on Valentine’s Day, when he sent Jamie a gorilla-gram at the diner. That’s a singing telegram delivered by a man in a gorilla suit,” I explained when Parker looked at meblankly.
“Awhat?”
“You heard me.” I laughed. “And let me be clear: this was a very, very not-safe-for-work singing telegram, in which he rhymedfoodwithlube.”
“But those words don’teven—”
“Iknow. And the best-worst part? It was Brian himself in the costume. So, like, everyone was just sitting there trying not to vomit their lunch, and Brian, Captain Oblivious of America, took the head off his costume and got down on one knee to ask Jamie to move in with him, or something.” I winced. “The relationship was over inseconds.”
“That…” Parker snorted and clapped a hand over his mouth. “Oh, fuck. That made my day.” He laughed again. “I didn’t think it was possible for me to feel better about this, but I do. So, thankyou.”
“Eh. Just cranking the O’Leary gossip mill.” Iwinked.
“Now back to your problem.” He picked up his burger with renewedenthusiasm.
“Oh.No. Thanks anyway. I’ve had about as much real talk as I cantake.”
“No,” he insisted around a bite of meat. “No, Julian, don’t do that. Please, listen.” He grabbed a napkin from the counter and wiped off his hands. “If you never listen to another thing I say, listen to this. You need to talk to him. I know it’s hard. People like me tell you to just man up, but it’s not that easy when you feel like you’re risking something you care about,right?”
“Yes! Exactly!” I threw my hands up. “Sometimes the stakes are too high. It’s easier to just… I dunno, keep moving forward. Let things…coast.”
“Down the path of least resistance?” He raised one eyebrow. “Putting off theinevitable?”
Isighed.
“What you have right now with Daniel, or what youthinkyou have… it’s not real, my friend. A relationship built on doubts and fears can’tbe.”
He took a bite of burger and chewed thoughtfully while I silently choked on my own ruined dreams. Not to be too dramatic oranything.
“Itcouldbe, though,” he continued. “You just have to put in the work to get there. You’re worried about rocking the boat, but you don’t know if you’re evenona boat or just sitting in your own damn bathtub. And take it from me—you’re not doing him any favors by not speaking up, because you’re lettinghimbelieve something is real when itisn’t.”
“I hadn’t thought of it that way before,” Iwhispered.
Parker nodded. “Nobody wants a yes-man, Julian. It might seem fun on the surface, but when push comes to shove, all those yeses are gonna collapse like a house of cards, and Daniel’s gonna realize the Julian he thought he knew was just a role you were playing.” His mouth twisted sympathetically. “And that will hurt him way worse than any words you could possibly say. Trustme.”
“So what do I do?” I said, massaging my forehead with my fingers. "How do I fixit?"
“You do the work. Take the risk. Start the conversation. Up your standards. Know in your heart that you deserve more, and believe that he does, too. After all, don’t we all want someone who thinks we’re worth fighting for, even if it’s hard? Even if it pokes at all our tender places?” He rubbed a hand over his own chest and gave me a small smile. “And don’t give up, okay? Even if he gets angry and pushes back. Even if he stops talking to you for a week… or ten fucking years. Don’t let anyone or anything, including your own fear, force you into maintaining the status quo if it’s making you miserable. If you can’t say a wholehearted yes to something, Julian, you’ve got to sayno.”
