“Ma!” I choked, feeling like the wind was knocked out of me. “What are you talking about? Is that really what you think of me?”
The vibe and tension in the room was so off I didn’t know what to think. When my mom stood up, I flinched because I just knew she was going to take a swing at me. When she didn’t hit me and instead walked over to my desk and logged into my desktop my heart started beating fast. My mind started going in circles trying to figure out what information could she have possibly known for her to ask me the question she had asked. I had both of my parents blocked from all of my social media accounts so when she asked if I was selling myself for money, it threw me the hell off.
I had no idea what would make her ask me that and since she wasn’t volunteering that information to me, I was losing my mind trying to figure it out. There was no way she could have found out about any of my adult content unless someone told it. I couldn’t think of anyone that would run and snitch to my parents about anything I had going on. It only took me a few minutes to know what had my mom so upset. Once she had pulled up what she wanted to show me on the computer, shescooted back in the chair she was sitting in giving me a clear view of the screen.
She pulled up a bank statement and at first, I wasn’t tripping. I figured I must have made a purchase and forgotten to use the secret account I had where all of the money I made from OnlyFans was deposited. I must had bought something expensive and my mom was about to snap about how much it cost. That was my final guess, but boy was I wrong. Here was where being the child of a prosecutor sucked. When I took a closer look, I saw that the account that she pulled up was my secret account. Her detective, sneaky ass done found some shit out that I knew for sure was on lock.
“OnlyFans, Tatiana?” my mom bellowed.
“Ma!”
“Ma my motherfucking ass! When that boy sent me pictures of you and that grown ass man hugged up tonight, I almost didn’t believe my eyes.”
“What boy?”
“Hmph, you really pissed that Jamal boy off because he didn’t stop there. He then proceeded to send me all the profile pictures of your nasty ass social media sites and in all my life…” she exclaimed, being all extra and dramatic. “I never thought that MY CHILD would choose to become a sex worker of all the things in this world you could pick from! How could you, Tatiana?” my mom snapped as my dad walked into the room.
“Tatiana, I’m very disappointed in you. I done missed a whole day of work and my patients’ need me for this bullshit. It is unacceptable for you to be selling your body for money. I’m so upset with you I can’t even think straight enough to do my job, and that’s a first in almost thirty God damn years!” my dad bellowed.
I couldn’t do anything but stand there with tears in my eyes blinking aimlessly like a deer caught in headlights. I couldn’tbelieve Jamal did something so low down and foul. In all the years he and I had been friends he knew better than anyone else how my parents, especially my mom was. For him to snitch me out was a straight bitch move on his part. Especially when he was looking pretty foul for how he was moving last night with Trista.
My mom then proceeded to pull up all these very erotic selfies and naked pictures she must have gotten from Jamal. As she was hoopin’ and hollerin’, ranting and raving, one thing led to another and what happened next wound up changing our lives forever.
“Then you have the audacity to walk your ass up in here smelling like badussy ‘cause you done fucked all night on that grown ass man! How much did he pay you?”
“Wow! Now that was a low blow!”
“Oh, really? How was it a low blow when that’s what you do? He should be shamed! His ass is way too grown to be chasing behind your young tail when you’re still wet behind the ears. You fresh out of high school laying up with a grown ass man who’s probably married. And to think we were about to let you have your own place! How did you become so fucking disrespectful and trifling?” my mom yelled.
“You really think that low of me! You just believe any and everything you hear. While Jamal was busy telling you about what I had going on. Did he tell you how he slept with my friend at my party! You sittin’ there disrespecting me for the ops!”
When the words left my mouth, I realized I had made a mistake because my mom grabbed my collar, and before she could swing, I flinched. She must have thought I was about to swing on her because she hit me with a hard left hook. Next thing I knew, I tasted blood in my mouth, and before I knew it, we were fighting like cats and dogs in my bedroom.
My dad was shouting for us to stop, but it was to no avail. My mom and I went at it like two strangers in the street as he continued to try to get us to stop. All of a sudden, there was a loud noise. It sounded like my dresser had fallen over making me and my mom stop to look to see what it was. When I saw my dresser hadn’t fallen but that it was my dad, my mouth fell open. He was lying on the floor behind us clutching his chest.
“Don’t just stand there… call 9-1-1!” my mom shouted as she ran to his side.
Standing there with my entire body shaking from the adrenaline from all that was going on, I locked eyes with my dad. I was crying, my mom was wailing, and my dad was fighting to breathe with tears falling from his eyes. Picking up my mom’s cellphone that was lying on my bed, I dialed 9-1-1 then locked eyes with my dad again.
“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” The dispatcher answered just as I watched my dad’s eyes roll to the back of his head and he stopped breathing.
CHAPTER 8
@Tatiana
Rushinginto my mom’s 2020 Lincoln Navigator then fastening the seatbelt, I braced myself for all the bullshit I knew she was about to be on. Turning toward the passenger side window, I watched as my mom sprinted from the back of the ambulance to the driver’s side door of her SUV. Getting in she wasted no time cranking the Lincoln up then pulling off as we followed closely behind the ambulance that was transporting my dad to the hospital.
When I got to the house this morning I expected to be questioned about my night by my mom, but never did I expect to be faced with what really happened. Normally if I were going to stay the whole night out, I would send my mom a text just to let her know being courteous, but with it being my birthday party and all, I figured she would’ve assumed that it was going to be a long night. Then, once Reggie and I hooked up, things happened so fast that it never crossed my mind to send her a quick text to let her know I was planning to stay the night out.
When I opened my bedroom door and saw my mom sitting on my bed looking like she had a major bone to pick with me, my heart skipped a beat. Like I said, I knew she would want to question me about my night, but I didn’t think she’d be as upset as she was. My mom was a bit on the crazy side. A lot of people didn’t know she had two sides to her because she was great at putting on a façade for people, but behind closed doors, she was a force to be reckoned with. And this morning, she was ready for the shits because she wasted no time going off on me. When she snapped and told me all the stuff Jamal’s snitching ass ran and told her, I was speechless.
Everything was happening too fast, because she was hitting me with all types of details about my personal life that I had tried ridiculously hard to shield her from. Even though I wasn’t a child, I still felt like I had to sneak and shield my parents from how I truly was because they were too judgmental, more so my mom than my dad. Their expectations for me were too much and not what I wanted for myself, so I kept things to myself for a reason. My mom especially felt that since they provided for and financially supported me that they had the right to have a certain level of control over my life. Jamal knew the dynamic between me and my mom, so for him to run and tell her anything was some sucker shit on his part. Like, where do they do that at?
While my mom was coming at me about things she shouldn’t have known, she was also yelling at me, calling me names which always made me feel some type of way. I had a bad habit of mirroring her attitude, and before I knew it, I flashed out and snapped right back on her. Then next thing I remember, my mom ran up and swung on me, and it was on and poppin’ from there. My mom and I were fighting like too chicks in the street right in the middle of my bedroom.
I thought my dad was at work, but he wasn’t, so he had come running into my room to break the fight up, but in the processhe collapsed. Now, because of all the madness, my dad’s fighting for his life and according to my mom, it’s all my fault. I had no problem taking accountability for my part, but things getting physical between she and I, I wouldn’t be taking the blame for because that was all of her fault. She swung on me first, I had to defend myself.
None of that even mattered at this point. All that mattered was if my dad would be okay or not. When I looked into his face after he hit the floor, his eyes rolled to the back of his head. To me, it looked like he had stopped breathing. My mom sprang into action because I was stuck. I couldn’t move, think, or speak. My dad sometimes pissed me off for allowing my mom to always take the lead in everything instead of being the man, but other than that, he and I were very close. We had a much better relationship than me and my mom. I felt that he showed me unconditional love whereas love from my mom always came with conditions.
