“I’m fatigued but good. The only thing that’s hurting are my boobs and the cesarian scar. Once I feed her, my breasts will calm down.”
“I think my mama bought a pump, so you can handle that whenever you ready. I’ll bring a heating pad to help with your stomach when I get you back in bed. You need anything else from me?”
Shaking my head, I refused anything further. He’d done more than enough. By this time, he’d racked up more points than me, and I didn’t think I would ever be able to settle the score. I hated how one minute I was cautious around him and then others fully attached. This wasn’t supposed to go this far or even develop into anything more than a lift to the ER.
Once he was done, I stepped underneath the water and rinsed off again. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around my waist gently. My entire body melted in his arms. I threw my arms around his neck and shared the moment he granted. For someone who swore off all men, I found myself clinging to him unexpectedly.
“Thank you, My Baby, for letting a nigga in. You have no idea how much I needed this,” he whispered in my ear.
“Thank you for making this easier than the last.”
“Whatever you need me to do, baby, I will. You and my kids sitting at the top of my priority list. I’m dropping any and everything for y’all. Don’t second guess that.”
“I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that those are my kids.”
“You ain’t doing shit but hearing yourself talk at this point. They ain’t come from my loins but they damn sure got a father in me. If I’m locked in with you, I’m locked in with them, too, aight?”
Nodding, I remained in his arms until I was ready to release him. My emotions were all over the place, and I was unsure if feeding his delusion until I was back on my feet was even worth it. Cojak hurt my heart in ways I didn’t think I would ever recover. However, Royce came in demanding me as his partner. He didn’t identify me as anything other than his wife. He talked a good game but with everything he’s done so far, he’s backed it up.
“Why didn’t you shower?” I inquired changing the subject.
“I will once I get you in bed. I’ll go get baby girl once I’m done, and we gon’ kick it in here with you. You good with Pops having CJ? I can get him too if you need me to.”
“No. Let him be a boy and play. He left me high and dry like his punk ass daddy,” I said feeling neglected. My son really fed into Royce’s people without hesitation.
“Don’t mention that fuck ass nigga name in here again. He ain’t shit to y’all no more.” The tone of his voice was low and gentle, but I heard the seriousness in it as well. “He good with Pops, trust me.”
Trusting a nigga left me cheated on, heartbroken, and penniless. Trusting a nigga only results to being a fool. I’ll never do that again.
“I see them trying to become of importance to him, so I won’t interrupt that. Make sure he knows where I am though. Your home is a lot bigger than ours.” I truly didn’t have a problem with CJ getting to know Royce’s family. Kids and pets could sense out the evil in someone quick and that little boy was all smiles with them.
“I got you. How you feeling? You want another wash down?”
“You’ve done it three times already, I’m good. Did your mother bring any pads? Have you checked underneath the sink yet?”
“I already got it out waiting on the sink with some pajamas. You want me to help you with that, too? I don’t mind,” he settled my thoughts before they could even stir. The littlest things were drawing me in making me realize it never really took much to show you cared for someone.
“I can handle it. You don’t have to wait on me hand and foot. I’m more than capable of doing things for myself.”
“I’m well aware how independent you are, but you got me now so depend on me. It don’t matter what it is. If I can do it, tell me so you don’t have to. That’s what I’m here for. Don’t think that shit irritate me either ‘cause it don’t.”
I’d yet to unwrap myself and vice versa. We stood there like we’d been doing this shit for years just exchanging sentimental statements as if it was something we needed to hear. Royce wasn’t afraid to show emotion, and I found myself weirdly attracted to that the most. He was claiming me and mine proudly and anyone who said different was corrected. He was a protector CJ and Essence needed.
“Why did you choose us, Royce? What makes us so special?” I was going to ask that question until I was satisfied with his response.
“I ain’t like the way that nigga abused you verbally, mentally, and physically. When you started visiting him more frequent and our times lined up, I noticed I was spending more time looking at you than enjoying my company. You know how to hold a nigga down even though that fuck nigga didn’t deserve it. Hearing you were behind on bills and hadn’t provided for the kids due to his greediness, pissed me the fuck off. I knew to make a move.”
A move? Wait, did he… but how?
Stepping back, I looked up into his eyes and slightly hesitated. Cojak said it wasn’t him that paid the bills and dropped off money. Royce knew where I lived, my name, and the kids. That was all his doing. The dots were connecting faster and faster.
“The bills, the money, all the gifts for the kids… that was you?” I asked. My thoughts were running a mile a minute.
“You were my woman before you knew it, My Baby. Now that I’m here, everything that’s mine is yours. You and my kids won’t have to want for shit ever again. I will warn you though, leaving because you pissed the fuck off or got an attitude won’t fly. I really hate when my shit is out of reach, My Baby. If you want to see a nigga nut up, take what’s mine away from me,” he threatened.
I fully believed he would turn his crazy up a notch. His mental disability was shown on day one when he came barging in my house stating things he wasn’t supposed to have a clue about. I realized it was nothing for this man to find out. Whatever stone was unturned didn’t matter, he already knew what was underneath. It was nothing new to him.
“You are fuckin’ maniacal, Royce. We are strangers at the end of the day, and you keep pushing this family narrative. I had one, remember? You see how that turned out for me. A nigga lied, played in my face, and drained me dry. I’m not going through that again. I refuse to. I am appreciative as fuck for everything you’ve done but goddammit. You are moving too fast for me, and I don’t know how to think or even act right now,” I voiced out of frustration.
