“Sure. Still. Thank you. And I might’ve been a little hasty myself, when I said all those things to you that night.”
“No. Every word you said was true.”
Shock cascaded through me. Olivian tugged at his collar, clearly uncomfortable with that admission, and I hurried to change the subject. “The thing is...I have no idea where Kai went. And even if I did, it wouldn’t matter. We never would’ve worked. But thanks for the offer.”
“You’re welcome.” He still didn’t look up. “Now do me a favor and get the hell out.”
I laughed. For the first time in days, I laughed, then did exactly as he’d asked.
That evening, Amryssa and Merron and I went dancing.
I couldn’t bear to visit the theatre, much less the pub where Kai had conquered my defenses over ale and an apple. Thankfully, Amryssa found some other place—a back-alley hovel where yellow lamplight and fiddle music spilled from the door.
Inside, we joined a throng of bodies, the crowd so dense that I exhaled in a way I hadn’t in weeks. I lost myself in the jaunty music, the shout of conversations, the scent of spilled gin.
Still, people stared at me, and a few raised crossed fingers in my direction. But when Amryssa began whirling in time to the fiddle, a glittering hush spread through the crowd. Gazes followed her, people orienting to her without realizing, everyone subconsciously answering the draw of Zephyrine’s child.
I smiled and closed my eyes, letting the music carry me. When I looked again, Merron caught me in his arms and twirled me across the floor.
I anchored my hands to his shoulders. His brown eyes beamed, his smile like a balm to my heart.
“I’ve been meaning to tell you,” he said, barely audible over the music. “I’m leaving Oceansgate. And I won’t be back.”
My stomach clenched, but I nodded. I’d been expecting this. I was only surprised it had taken him so long. “Where will you go?”
“Crystal Hollow. I have a cousin there, a farmer. He and his wife just had triplets, and they could use some extra hands. Which means I’ll have a home there. At least until I decide where to build my own.”
I forced a smile. “I’m glad. I mean, not that you’re leaving. But that you’re moving on. Moving up in the world. Doing what you’ve always wanted.”
He flung me out in a spin, then reeled me back in again. He didn’t have Kai’s skill, but our dance was looser, in a way. Easier. Less fraught, since it didn’t require me to lie to myself or violently skewer any errant feelings through the heart.
“Thanks,” he said. “And you know I wish the same for you. I hope you and Amryssa make it to Hightower.”
“We will.” I raised my voice to compete with the shrieking fiddle. “Come hell or high water, we will. I’ll make sure of it.”
Another fond smile. “Knowing you, I believe that. And Harlowe? You’ll be okay. It might take a while, but you’ll be okay.”
As we made our way home along the graveled road, the evening hummed around us, a rhythmic pulse of cricket-calls and frogsong. In the glow of the swamp, Amryssa’s hair gleamed amethyst. I followed it through the dark, replaying Merron’s words in my head.
You’ll be okay.
I would, eventually. It would take me a long time to accept Kai’s absence, but then again, maybe that wasn’t the root of the problem. MaybeIwas. Because maybe, just maybe, I’d sent my husband away out of fear, not foresight.
Tiny stones scuffed beneath my shoes. Up ahead, Merron and Amryssa walked with their arms linked, chuckling about something I hadn’t paid attention to. I heaved a sigh and thought back to our last nightmare.
I’d tasted equanimity then, sensed it hovering within reach. In that moment, it had felt so possible to decide, to believe in my own merit. But I hadn’t taken hold of it. Instead, I’d booted Kai out of my life and told myself that what I wanted didn’t matter.
I rubbed at my temples. All this time, I’d been so loyal to Amryssa, but maybe that was because being loyal to her had been easier than being loyal to myself. Maybe?—
A shriek sliced my line of thinking in half. My gaze jumped to Merron, who stood with his arms outstretched, every line of his stance a warning.
I followed his wide-eyed gaze toward the forest.
And froze, my nerves strangling one another. Vick. That prick. He stood at the edge of the trees, and he had Amryssa. Her frail frame trembled as Vick held her by the hair, the white rope of her strands wrapped around his fist. The woman from the root cellar—that same damn woman—stood beside him, smiling at me.
“Let her go!” I shrieked.
Vick barely cut me a glance. He just grinned and backed into the diseased swamp, dragging Amryssa with him. The woman disappeared, too.
