“Damn it, Willa! If you don’t come back now…”
I heard his stormy footfalls in the night and the darkness suddenly seemed full of danger and temptation. He caught up with me quickly, grabbed me around the thighs, and threw me over his shoulder. “I’m not finished with you yet,” he said, his voice hot and ominous but still making me tingle. He marched back to the hut, carried me inside, and set me down in the middle of the wooden floor. “Not by a long shot.” He looked at me from above, but I couldn’t see much. The faint moonlight fell through the open shack door, breaking across his backside. His face was in darkness, and when he effortlessly took off his shirt, I felt my pulse pounding in the pit of my throat.
His body was a work of art. Broad shoulders, firm muscles, and smooth skin. He was beautiful. I couldn’t put it any other way. Dark, strong, and beautiful in a melancholy way. His shoulders shimmered in the blackness illuminated by the moonlight as did his entire silhouette. As if he had a radiant aura.
He took off his boots and jeans, and then sank over me so that his body forced me onto my back. I felt the cool wood on my skin. I was shocked by his intensity, but at the same time, I felt a giggle in my chest. He still seemed angry, maybe at himself, maybe at me. He took my wrists, pressed them to the floor next to my head, and kissed me so passionately and wildly that all thoughts were silenced. His taste clouded me and his kisses robbed me of my senses. He should never stop, but as I thought that, he pulled back and looked at me without letting go of my wrists.
“I have wanted you from the moment you first stood before me on the Agamemnon,” he said roughly. “And it worsenedevery day. The more I felt that you were not the spoiled princess…that you were merely a girl who wanted to do everything right, who wanted to please everyone, who wanted to be loved…”
It was the tenderness in his words and perhaps the truth in them that would have brought me to my knees if I hadn’t already given in to him. I swallowed and looked at him. A deep desire flickered in his eyes, so deep that the intensity left me breathless.
“I’ve wanted you since that day at Rosewood Manor,” I whispered. “And that has never changed.”
He smiled in his fleeting way, and when he lowered his head and I felt his tongue against my throat, I trembled. It was as if a hundred sparks were dancing across my skin. I gasped and he grabbed me tighter, kissed my neck and collarbone before wrapping his lips around my nipple and sucking on it. Suddenly, there was a violent throbbing in my abdomen, the feeling of heat and melting. I wanted to feel him all over my bare skin and deep inside me.
The next moment, my hands were free and he pulled my underwear off my legs. Instinctively, I reached into his hair, loosened the ponytail, and grabbed it as he took off his shorts. He gasped, maybe I had grabbed too hard, but then he was on top of me. Naked and sweaty. I could feel him, everything about him, including his excitement.
I didn’t know how long we touched each other, kissed each other, our bodies twisted and intoxicated with each other. It was as if our desire made the air crackle and spark. At some point, the touches no longer seemed to be enough, nothing seemed to be enough; it was impossible to be apart any longer.
“Will,” he whispered hoarsely and I felt his hot breath against my face. “This is madness. Completely crazy. You and me—it will never work.”
“Why not?” I whispered back.
“Because we are who we are.”
“And that’s exactly what I don’t care about.”
He kissed my forehead. “Your first time?”
I nodded.
“Are you scared?”
I opened my legs for him. “No.” That wasn’t a lie. I wasn’t scared. I felt the cool, smooth wood on my back and bottom and Nathan’s heat above me. I was drunk on him and my desire, and for the first time, I was myself, unprotected and naked, far away from my father’s billions in a strange world. It was as if I could truly feel myself and what I wanted for the first time.
When he entered me, at first I only felt pain, unbelievable all-encompassing pain that tore me apart inside. I gasped for air, my muscles tensing.
Nathan paused. “Relax, Will. It won’t hurt so much. Or should I stop?”
“No.” I stifled a pathetic gasp. “Keep going!” I breathed in slowly and put my hands on Nathan’s shoulders. He moved deeper until he finally filled me completely and I felt him completely. I dug my nails into his skin. It was pain and happiness at the same time. I could have cried for both.
“Willa?” Nathan waited, not moving, but his pupils had never been bigger or blacker than they were now. His hands were beside my head, propping him up so I didn’t have to bear his full weight. “Tell me when you’re ready.”
To my surprise, the burning did subside, not completely, but it became bearable. I pulled Nathan down to kiss him and he understood. He moved carefully, and through the pain, I was overcome by a deep feeling of trust. Despite his anger at the world, my father, and perhaps me, he would never intentionally hurt me. I closed my eyes and felt his slow thrusts, which gradually grew harder and deeper. I grabbed his soft hair and let it slide through my fingers. Suddenly, there was not onlypain between my legs, but also a gentle, pulling heat. A sweet premonition of something wonderful I had never shared with anyone before. At the same time, I was just happy to be so close to Nathan, to feel his desire for me all over my burning skin.
When he paused, I opened my eyes and saw the smile on his face. His sea eyes glowed in the darkness, but he said nothing. Slowly, he slid his hand between my legs and touched me in a spot that made orange-red lights flicker in front of me. I looked at him through those lights. His gaze held me tight, penetrating me like this new, hot sensation. It tickled and sent red-hot shivers through my veins. Stunned, I lay completely still as the pulsing heat swelled inside me, awakening the desire for release and even more heat. A light gasp came from my mouth as I gave in to the unbearable fire, and for a few seconds, I floated over an abyss. My body began to shake and my feet arched while the first wave of heat rushed through me, followed by the second, third, and fourth. Now, the red light was everywhere and I barely noticed Nathan pulling his hand away and penetrating me deeper.
He slid two fingers under the bracelet on my wrist and held my arm next to my head, an unmistakable sign that we belonged together. His movements grew more intense. Instinctively, I held on to his neck with one hand, pressing my abdomen against his while the last waves of heat flowed through my veins. My back scraped the floor and unbearable feelings spread through me. Love, heat, and longing. Nathan. I was intoxicated, and when he came inside me, the heat continued echoing inside me. I clung to his shoulders not knowing whether we had been quiet or loud, whispering or screaming.
With him on top of me, we looked at each other—everything was now different. He touched my cheek gently. “When I saw you at the gate, it was strange…after all the sadness, it was as if I had found something that I had long thought I had lostforever. And then, on board the Agamemnon, the feeling was immediately there again. It was like magic.”
I couldn’t answer, my eyes watering because of his words and the happiness they brought me.
“You’re crying,” he said gently, reproaching me. “I think you cry quite often.”
I had to laugh, but when I saw his expression, I became serious.
Nathan kissed my forehead. “I love you,” he whispered, brushing a strand of hair from my forehead. “No matter what happens, no matter what I ever say to you in anger, or whatever I do, I love you and I will never stop.”
