* * *
Bannerman’s was already heaving when we arrived. Nate pulled me to one side once the guys had set up. A look of concern clouded his eyes.
‘You’re not yourself, mate. What’s happened? Have you spoken to Star?’
I laughed without feeling the slightest hint of humour. ‘Had a letter from her. Talk about a cold-hearted bitch.’
His eyes widened. ‘Why? What did it say?’
‘That she’s realised she’s not right for me, and she’s received a better offer. She’s...’ I swallowed the ball of anger and emotion that had begun to restrict my throat. ‘She’s gone, Nate. She’s left for New York.’ My voice broke, and I internally berated myself for it.
He gripped my shoulder. ‘Bloody hell, Fin. I’m so sorry mate. That’s terrible.’
‘Yeah, you could say that. I really thought she’d listen. That she’d let me explain. But, well, it’s over. She’s moving on, and I guess I need to do the same.’
47
Star
Early on an August morning I stood in a crowded Edinburgh airport, and I clung to Alec and my grandma like they were my lifelines. In a way, they were. They were the only things I had left in Scotland. And even though I would miss them both so very much I was no longer attached to the city I once loved. Thanks to Finlay Hunter, my heart was broken, and the only way to heal was to start over.
New York was as good a place as any.
Marshall Davies had organised an apartment for me on the Upper East Side. Quite a prestigious location, from what I’d heard. The photos of the second-floor apartment looked wonderful, and I should have been so excited. Marshall and I had been in regular contact since I had accepted his offer.
Alec had been instrumental in encouraging me to accept the opportunity of a lifetime. He cupped my face in his hands. ‘If you don’t like it, Twinkle, you will always have a home with me or Aggie, you know that, and you can come backanytime. But you’ll never know if you don’t at least try.’
His eyes had glistened with tears as he fought to keep his emotions in check, but I loved him for being so positive about the whole thing. I was having so many doubts about my abilities that I appreciated him believing in me enough for both of us.
As my flight was called, I hugged Alec and my grandma tightly. ‘I’m going to miss you both so much.’ A sob escaped me and tears over-spilled my clenched eyes.
Alec gripped me back just as tightly. ‘We’ll keep in touch. There’s Facetime and email and WhatsApp. It’ll be like we’re not really apart. You’ll see.’ But his voice sounded strangled, as if he was struggling just as much as I was. He mumbled into my hair, ‘If Fin gets in touch, what should I say?’
I pulled away and gazed up at him. ‘He won’t be in touch. I can guarantee it.’
‘My sweet girl. You go and show them what you’re made of,’ Grandma said smiling up at me. ‘And don’t forget to call me on my Alexis will you? Alec has shown me how to use it. And it’s even named after a character in my favourite TV show.’ She grinned and then her smile disappeared as she took my hand . ‘I’m so very proud of you, and your grandad would be too. Now you take care, okay?’ She swiped at the tears cascading down her face. I didn’t have the heart to tell her the little unit Alec had bought her wasn’t actually called Alexis, nor was it named after the Joan Collins character in Dynasty.
I reluctantly made my way towards departures and waved to my best friend and my grandma. They had their arms round each other and I could that Alec was trying his best to console her. A ball of emotion and fear knotted my stomach.
This was it.
My life was about to change dramatically. Again. The one saving grace in it all was the fact that I would at least be on the same continent as my parents again. The flight from Indiana would take just over an hour and a half, and they had already booked to come see me. But the thought of starting over terrified me. I knew no one in the Big Apple. I had never even visited there. I feared how impersonal it might be after the friendliness of Edinburgh.
But Ihadto go.
* * *
Around five hours later, with just over an hour left of the flight, I reached into my bag and pulled out the white envelope that had appeared on my doormat only a few days earlier. The contents still hurt. Every time I read the words, my stomach flipped and churned. But somehow, re-reading it re-iterated the fact that I had made the right decision in leaving Edinburgh.
Dearest Star,
I hear your exhibition went well and I’m very happy for you. You are incredibly talented and after seeing the newspaper reviews, I’m glad you received the praise you deserve. I understand you were offered a long-term exhibition in New York’s Napier Gallery. You must be so very happy. I wanted to drop you a line and wish you well.
It’s a shame things didn’t work out between us. But when you think about it, we were never truly meant to be. I want you to know I understand why you wouldn’t speak to me after the charity ball, but you have to know my parents were only looking out for me. The fact that they love me warms my heart, and I’m so grateful to have them in my life once again. And I think I maybe have you to thank for that.
Things have been difficult, and I’m so sorry you were dragged into the middle of my mistakes but I now realise that many of my decisions were real errors in judgement. I had no right to use you the way I did, and again, I can only apologise. I’ve had the opportunity to discuss everything with my parents and they’ve forgiven me, I just hope you can too someday. I’ll be taking back my position within the family firm too. My rightful place.
I sincerely wish you the very best in all your New York endeavours and hope that you meet someone who can love you as much as you deserve. I’m sorry I couldn’t.
