Archie blanched. ‘That bad, eh?’
She glanced around to make sure no one was listening in. ‘It’s worse. I’ve had the divorcee who couldn’t stop talking about how his wife had ruined his libido, the funeral-parlour-owning career man who thinks it’s about time he found someone to have kids with because “apparently that’s what you do at fifty-eight”. Fifty-eight, Archie. I’m forty, for goodness’ sake. I know I’m no spring chicken, but bloody hell.’ Archie smirked and shook his head. ‘Oh, you think that’s funny? Well, then there was Mr I-still-live-with-my-mother who wants someone to replace her and look after him.’
‘Jeez, you really have had a disastrous evening, eh?’
‘You could say that. How about you?’
Archie nodded. ‘Not as bad as you, thankfully. I met a lovely lady from Balmacara. Divorced, no kids, thirty-five. Quite pretty. I think I might ask for her number at the end.’
‘Wow, that’s brilliant.’ Buzzz!
‘Och, that’s me. See you later.’
Caitlin huffed. ‘If I haven’t run out and dived off a cliff.’
Archie laughed. ‘Don’t do that. This next one’s it, I can feel it in my bones.’ He winked as he headed off under the stern gaze of Monica, who was patrolling like some kind of prison guard at visiting time.
‘Hi, I’m Lyle, what’s your name?’
Caitlin gazed up into the clear, blue, smiling eyes of the person who could possibly be her dream man. ‘Lyle! How lovely to see you. And how grateful I am.’ He looked delectable in black jeans and a light grey shirt. His beard was neatly trimmed, and he smelled amazing – all fresh linen and spicy shower gel.
He smiled as he took the seat opposite her. ‘Don’t tell me, you’ve had as bad a night as I have?’
Caitlin gasped. ‘Not you too?’
‘Oh yes. I’ve been likened to Paul Hollywood by every woman I’ve met. Have you heard anything so ridiculous? I look nothing like him.’
Caitlin scrunched her brow. ‘Pfft! Utter craziness! I can’t see it myself at all,’ she lied.
‘I know. Bizarre, eh? I wish I had his money though.’ He chuckled. ‘I thought there’d have been a specific age range on this event seeing as I don’t fancy dating my grandma. I don’t know about you, but I think some of these attendees have been a little economical with the truth.’
She giggled. ‘I totally agree. I don’t fancy being a womb to rent for the guy who told me, “I’m a good catch. I own my own chain of funeral parlours, but I’m ready to have children now I’m fifty-eight. I’m looking for a woman with childbearing hips,”’ she said in a mock deep, monotone voice.
Lyle’s eyes widened. ‘Shit! He really said that?’
Caitlin nodded; her lips pursed. ‘Oh, he certainly did.’
‘I bet that app is looking more appealing now, eh?’
Caitlin laughed out loud. ‘You read my mind! I was just thinking that very thing earlier.’
He paused for a moment and leaned closer. ‘Look… I don’t know why I didn’t do this before but—’
Buzzz!
‘Dammit. Look, I’ll find you at the end, okay? Better go before the Oompa Loompa in heels comes for me.’
Caitlin almost choked on her drink at his comment. ‘See you later,’ she sputtered as butterflies took flight in her stomach. She knew he was going to ask her out now. Maybe Archie had been right. She hoped his evening was going as well as hers was now.
* * *
‘So? Did you get her number?’ Caitlin asked as Archie arrived beside her at the end of the event. She’d been waiting for Lyle, who had started across the room towards her five minutes earlier but had been stopped by at least four women already.
‘Aye, that I did. Her name is Rosabeth. Quite nice really. I think I’ll ask her on a date.’
Caitlin smiled. ‘That’s brilliant, Archie.’
‘How about you?’ he asked.
