‘Aye, I will. Bye, Ruby, thanks again.’ She waved and closed the door behind her.
Once she was settled in Archie’s four-wheel-drive Land Rover, he set off towards Kyle of Lochalsh. He turned briefly to glance at her. ‘You have such a great relationship with Grace,’ he said out of the blue.
‘Aw, do you think so? Thank you.’
‘Aye. It’s clear that you adore each other.’
She smiled. ‘Well, that’s one thing I’m certain of. She made my life complete.’
‘Can I… Can I ask you something personal?’
Caitlin frowned and for some reason her tummy flipped as she wondered what on earth he was going to ask. ‘Erm… Sure, I suppose so.’
‘What happened to Grace’s dad?’
‘Oof… go for the jugular, eh?’
He winced and scrunched his nose. ‘Sorry. You don’t have to answer. It’s none of my business. I’m just curious why you’re not still together, that’s all.’
Caitlin inhaled a long, deep breath as she readied herself to tell the story that very few people knew. She was in no way ashamed of her decision, but there were not many that could understand the route she took to parenthood. ‘I never actually met him.’
In her periphery, she saw Archie’s brow crumple. ‘But… how…?’
‘I was twenty-eight, I wanted a baby but wasn’t with anyone. In fact, there hadn’t been anyone for a while and certainly not anyone who was parent material in my opinion. I decided I didn’t need a man in my life anyway. So… I went to a sperm-donation clinic.’
His eyes widened, but he kept his gaze fixed on the road. ‘Really? Wow. I had no idea.’
‘It’s not really the type of thing I tell people.’ She shrugged and turned her gaze to the scenery outside the window, awaiting the string of questions that would no doubt follow:Why didn’t you just wait? What about the poor girl not knowing her father? Don’t you think it was selfish? Does she know how she came about? What about her future health, illnesses, and such? What if she needs a kidney and you’re not compatible?
When none of them came, she turned her attention back to Archie again. ‘Go on, ask me.’
He shook his head. ‘Ask you what?’
She narrowed her eyes. ‘People always have questions when they find out.’
Archie glanced at her again. ‘I don’t. In fact, I think what you did was incredibly brave.’
She was shocked by his reaction. ‘Some say I played God. I was selfish. That Grace deserves a father or at least to know who hers is.’
Archie unexpectedly pulled the car to a halt in a lay-by just after the Skye Bridge and turned to face her. ‘Those people, the ones who ask those types of questions, clearly don’t understand. But I think what you did was right for you, so it’s no one else’s business. You’re a fantastic mum, it’s completely evident, and Grace is clearly lacking nothing. What would that information do for her?’ He shrugged.
In spite of his reaction, Caitlin felt herself knotting up inside. She folded her arms across her chest, a defensive action, she knew, but she couldn’t help it. ‘I don’t know… that knowing her father would give her a sense of who she really is, I suppose. Well, that’s what people say anyway.’
He shook his head. ‘I disagree. I know who my father is. A right waste of space, as far as parenting is concerned, let me tell you. He was hardly around when I was growing up and when he was there, he was a little too eager with the old fists and belt. So, what good did knowing him do for me? Apart from it confirming how I didn’t want to turn out. But Grace…’ He smiled. ‘Grace is surrounded by love. She’s cared for. She’s looked after. She knows very well who she is, Caitlin. She’s your daughter and she’s her own person. I say good on you. There are so many folks in this world who don’t deserve the kids they’ve been blessed with. So, you tell me which child is happier? The child of a single-parent family who knows they’re secure, they’re a priority, that no harm will come to them, or the one who lives their life with two parents knowing that, really, they weren’t wanted at all by one of them in the first place?’
Caitlin felt a lump forming in her throat. After all the years of knowing Archie, this was the most in-depth conversation they’d ever had. The most honest too.
She cleared her throat to try to dislodge the emotion restricting it. ‘I’m… I’m so sorry you went through that, Archie. I had no idea.’
‘Aye, well like you, I suppose, it’s not the type of thing I usually tell people. But in this case, it felt quite pertinent.’ He sighed. ‘Look, I’m sorry for being nosey. But this has really made me understand you. I know we’ve been more like acquaintances over the years, so we don’t really know one another properly. I made assumptions about you, and I was wrong. So far off the mark, in fact. But now I feel I really know more about who you are. And that’s kind of nice. It’s like the foundation of a real friendship is forming.’ When she didn’t speak, he pulled a face. ‘God, that was all a bit deep, wasn’t it? I’m not usually like that, all profound and such. But… I don’t know… I think it’s good to have friends. Real friends who we can be totally ourselves with.’
Caitlin wasn’t sure how to respond. All she knew was that her respect for the man had grown in a matter of minutes. ‘You’re right. It is. Thank you for sharing that with me, Archie.’
‘Thank you too. And hey, I really didn’t mean to put a downer on things.’ He grimaced, then smiled. ‘I think I’m an expert at crappy timing.’
‘No, it’s fine. You haven’t.’ She assured him.
He turned back to face the front and started the engine. ‘Right, let’s go, eh?’
